編者按：修改工作是英語(yǔ)寫作過(guò)程中非常重要的一個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)，在反復(fù)修改作文的過(guò)程中，每個(gè)人都能獲得如何正確運(yùn)用語(yǔ)法、詞匯、句型、邏輯的基礎(chǔ)知識(shí)。我們都應(yīng)該掌握修改英語(yǔ)作文這門技術(shù)。

　　總體而言，考慮下面幾個(gè)要點(diǎn)，修改英語(yǔ)作文：

　　(1) 語(yǔ)法：對(duì)照作者的寫作情境，參考英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法知識(shí)，檢查是否存在語(yǔ)法運(yùn)用不恰當(dāng)或錯(cuò)誤的地方;

　　(2) 詞匯：對(duì)照英語(yǔ)詞典，檢查是否存在用詞不切確或重復(fù)用詞現(xiàn)象;

　　(3)句型：檢查是否存在運(yùn)用句型不當(dāng)現(xiàn)象，或者新造沒(méi)有的句型。

　　(4)邏輯：仔細(xì)檢查觀點(diǎn)是否合適，各分論點(diǎn)是否有力地論證了所提的觀點(diǎn)，各段落在邏輯上是否符合事情發(fā)展的來(lái)龍去脈，邏輯上是否嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。

　　這里將舉例論證上述幾個(gè)要點(diǎn)，以說(shuō)明英語(yǔ)作文的修改過(guò)程，下面以一篇考博英語(yǔ)作文(200510B)為例展開(kāi)分析：

　　英語(yǔ)寫作的題目為：

　　Is a job seeker’s previouswork experience important? If so, in what sense and to what extent? If not, whynot?

　　原英語(yǔ)作文為：

　　There is no denying that inthe job market those with rich previous work experience will often bepreferred. Some argue that this trend is not fairness or ration. Inmy opinion, however, previous work experience definitely counts for much for ajob seeker.

　　To begin with, an enterpriselikes have employees who can enter the working process immediately. Employees havingenough experience will help a company, especially a small or private company,to finish properly as soon as possible. Usually, private companies areunwilling to cost large amount of money in training new employees, which theybelieve will waste time and energy.

　　Furthermore, through severaltimes of job-hoppings, people can make up their minds firmly and clearly aboutwhere exactly their passions and interest lie, which is very important fortheir future success. In their previous work experience, employees have alreadylearned how to communicate and cooperate with their co-workers. Therefore, withadequate work experience, an employee can no doubt make himself familiar withhis new place so as to get a promotion easily in his or her new job.

　　Considering the aspects mentionedabove, I was a boss, I would choose a job seeker who has previous workexperience.

　　幾個(gè)方面的問(wèn)題如下：

　　(1) 英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法

　　1) Some argue that thistrend is not fairness or ration. is 后面跟形容詞，此處應(yīng)分別改為fair，rational。

　　2) To begin with, anenterprise likeshave employees who can enter the workingprocess immediately. 本句中出現(xiàn)了兩個(gè)動(dòng)詞，一般來(lái)說(shuō)兩個(gè)動(dòng)詞之間，沒(méi)有連接詞，這樣寫的句子是有問(wèn)題的。所以，應(yīng)將have employees改成 to have employees，動(dòng)名詞形式作動(dòng)詞likes的謂語(yǔ)。

　　(2) 詞匯

　　1) Employees having enough experience will help a company,especially a small or private company, to finish properly as soon as possible. 其中，詞匯having，如果改在with, 那么更合適些，Employees with enough experience will help a company…另外，詞匯finish是及物動(dòng)詞，在這里后面不加賓語(yǔ)，顯得不太合適，將其改為operate/run等不及物動(dòng)詞，比較合適些。

　　2) Usually, privatecompanies are unwilling to costlarge amount of money in training new employees. 其中，詞匯cost，表示私企不愿意花大筆錢在新員工培訓(xùn)上。實(shí)際上，我們用invest 這個(gè)詞匯可合適些，企業(yè)投錢在新員工培訓(xùn)上，有望提升員工的業(yè)務(wù)能力，最終提高企業(yè)的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)力，賺取更多的利潤(rùn)。

　　(3)句型

　　1) I was a boss, I would choose a job seeker who hasprevious work experience. 這個(gè)句型用得不對(duì)，I 怎么變成過(guò)去的老板了呢? 應(yīng)該改成If I were a boss, I would choose a jobseeker who has previous work experience. 虛擬語(yǔ)氣，表示假設(shè)。實(shí)際上，我并不是一個(gè)老板。

　　(4)邏輯

　　整篇文章，在邏輯上算是可以的。本題實(shí)際上是要求就某個(gè)問(wèn)題表明自己的判斷，我們既可以同意以往的工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)對(duì)找新工作的人至關(guān)重要，也可以反對(duì)這種觀點(diǎn)，接著就確定自己的立場(chǎng)進(jìn)行討論。

　　作者|丹丹英語(yǔ)

　　公眾號(hào)： 讀外刊學(xué)英語(yǔ)（ID：dwkxyy）

　　本文為原創(chuàng)文章，版權(quán)歸作者所有，未經(jīng)授權(quán)不得轉(zhuǎn)載!