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如何寫好托福獨立寫作主題句

時間: 楚薇20 分享

  如何寫好托福獨立寫作主題句,這是一個需要技巧的事情,下面小編就和你聊聊。

       托福獨立寫作主題句如何練到簡潔嚴謹

  幸運的是,雖然這是一項考察考生“語言運用能力”的考試,但它并不要求考生在字里行間透露出“文藝”氣息,所有參加這門考試的人都只需要“接地氣的”、“流暢的”、“符合邏輯的”將自己的觀點展示給考官即可獲得可觀的分數(shù)。

  基于這樣一個前提,我們便有了諸多能夠在考場中幫助考生有效地應對獨立寫作的技巧,這些技巧涵蓋了開頭段、中間段、結尾段、詞句提煉等各個方面。作為理由段的核心——主題句的寫法,一直以來都是一個教學重點。通過反思之前的教學方法,同時結合近期在批改作業(yè)及與學生溝通中所發(fā)現(xiàn)的問題,筆者想在此與大家分享一下自己關于托福獨立寫作理由段的“主題句”的寫作方法。

  構建主題句的最基本的要求應該是“不偏離總論點、言簡意賅、不相互包含和不互為因果”,細細探究這些寫作要求,它們其實是圍繞著“論述邏輯性”、“句子單詞數(shù)”和“說服力強弱”而存在的。換言之,只有做到了這三點,主題句才算比較好的主題句。嚴格按照這些要求所寫出來的主題句,在邏輯維度絕對是嚴謹?shù)?,能夠讓考官對考生的理解力給予肯定;在篇幅維度一定是簡潔的,能夠讓考官對考生的概括力給予肯定;最后,在表述維度必須是多元的,能夠讓考官對考生的思辨力給予肯定。

  在實際授課過程中,將這些要求通過課件例句和口頭表達轉述給學生的過程類似于將理工科公式介紹給學生一樣簡單,但是如何幫助學生有效地理解、吸收并運用這些“公式”則是一個比較耗時費力的過程。主題句沒寫好的結果絕對是災難性的,一個主題句如果不能有效地表達文意,那么,我們在授課過程中所介紹的“理由段三成分”根本無法得到有效的落實,進而,整個理由段的布局和表述都會受到影響。所以,主題句的教學應當獲得更大的關注度,從“邏輯”、“篇幅”和“表述”三個維度進行主題句的提煉應該是一個比較好的切入點。

  【維度一:主題句的邏輯】

  (1)學生目標:能夠根據(jù)題干想出合適的理由,再把理由精準地表述成句,用理由當主題句;

  (2)學生普遍存在的問題:首先,想出的理由不切題、過于空泛;其次,直接進入因果解釋環(huán)節(jié),用原因替代主題句,導致概括性不夠;

  (3)教學重點:托福獨立寫作的題目涉及的面比較廣,經(jīng)濟、文化、教育、生活都是考生需要面對的話題,面對一些自己用中文都不曾思考過的問題的時候,考生出現(xiàn)思路堵塞也是能理解的。

  可喜的是,現(xiàn)在機經(jīng)預測的準確度已經(jīng)非常之高,那些在真實考場中頻現(xiàn)的真題也已經(jīng)被我們解析完畢,相應的理由均已被整理、記錄進了“理由庫”。只要把這些理由融入到自己的教學過程當中,反復給學生進行講解,帶著他們去思考、理解和運用這些理由,即便他們考試的時候遇見的不是原題重現(xiàn)而是近義題重現(xiàn),大多數(shù)學生也是能夠保證自己使用的理由能夠切題了。當然,有同學擔心這樣一個問題,寫作題目可能會出現(xiàn)新題,這些理由對于新題會不會不適用。筆者認為,但凡能夠跟著老師進度來認真思考“理由庫”的同學,在考試日期到來之前,想理由的能力絕對是已經(jīng)得到了大幅提升的,大可不必有這樣的擔心。因此,只要按照上述思路進行訓練,想寫出“及格”層次的主題句是沒有問題了。

  例-1

  題目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

  A同學想表達的是“通過提升員工的效率和熟練度,公司利益會增加,進而實現(xiàn)員工的增收”,但是她的主題句卻寫成了“First, with the economic growth, the goods price increase sharply.”

  【參考例句:In the first place, employees’ working efficiency and proficiency can boost a company’s profits, thus increase employees’ income.】

  例-2

  題目:It is impossible to succeed if one cannot accept criticism in teamwork.

  (1)B同學的主題句是這么寫的:In the first place, criticism in a team is unavoidable because everyone has his own opinion, it is normal to have some conflict.

  這句話應該放到主題句后面的解釋環(huán)節(jié),通過因果鏈拓展的方式,作為原因來使用還是比較好的,但是,作為主題句的話,它沒有在“批評”和“成功”這二者之間搭建邏輯關系,使得主題句未能有效概括出相應段落的大意。

  【參考例句:In the first place, hearing and accepting rational criticism helps colleagues to form team spirit.】

  (2)同樣,還有一位C同學是這么寫的:Last but not least, a team may get criticism from outside world. 這個主題句也沒有把最核心的論據(jù)思想表達出來,?個團隊可以從外部得到批評,那么,能夠帶來什么好處呢?C同學并沒有說明。這句話,如果放到后面的解釋環(huán)節(jié)來使用,也是可以的,但是,作為主題句,一定需要在“從外部接受批評”和“獲得成功”之間搭建邏輯關系,整合出一個概括性較強的句子才行。

  【參考例句:Last but not least, a willingness to accept criticism enables people to obtain more useful information.】

  【維度二:主題句的篇幅】

  (1)學生目標:提升概括能力,嚴格控制主題句的篇幅;

  (2)學生普遍存在的問題:一個主題句寫了兩到三行(30~40個單詞);

  (3)教學重點:要提升學生的概括能力,用高端詞匯來替代短語的做法絕非高效高質的做法,只會導致曲高和寡的結果。

  其實大學畢業(yè)論文的撰寫過程已經(jīng)為我們鍛煉學生的概括能力提供了思路,眾所周知,每篇論文都有一篇摘要,而摘要下方必然存在若干“關鍵詞”,這些“關鍵詞”就是關鍵所在。我們在引導學生根據(jù)題目來思考、表達了“理由”之后,如果學生表達的句子太長,我們完全可以要求學生用一到兩個單詞對這個長句進行概括,然后,再要求學生圍繞自己概括出的單詞進行主題句的再次表述。通過一段時間的練習,學生的概括能力必然會得到提升。核心點在于通過運用“因果關系”對這些“關鍵詞”進行整合。

  例-1

  題目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

  針對這道題目,D同學想出來的理由還是不錯的,他想表達的是“一個公司員工的工作效率和熟練度對這個公司的產出和收益有很大的推動作用”,但是,具體轉述為主題句之后,他寫成了“How large the profit will be made by a company mostly depends on the output and the most significant method to enlarge the output is obviously to enhance the efficiency and proficiency of the workers.”(35個單詞)

  分析:對D同學所表達的主題句進行二次分析,他很輕松地就找出了這個句子的核心詞,即“efficiency and proficiency”和“output and profit”。通過不到三分鐘的思考,他圍繞這幾個單詞進行因果關系的轉述,再度寫出來的主題句如下:To begin with, efficiency and proficiency can improve a company’s output and profit.(13個單詞,精簡了22個單詞,語義更加精煉。)

  例-2

  題目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to choose a university whose graduates have good job opportunities than a university who has famous professors.

  E同學的主題句是這樣寫的:One of the main reasons that I consider a university whose graduates have a good job opportunity is a better choice is that job can guarantee our future.(28個單詞)

  分析:通過再次分析她的主題句,D同學進行了關鍵詞的提取,即“good job opportunities”和“future”,其它的內容均可進行適當削減。經(jīng)過思考,她通過因果關系進行轉述,再次表達出的主題句如下:Firstly, good job opportunities usually guarantee a promising future.(9個單詞,精簡了19個單詞,主題句更加開門見山。)

  【維度三:主題句的表述】

  (1)學生目標:通過主題句體現(xiàn)句式多樣性;

  (2)學生普遍存在的問題:

  (3)教學重點:授課老師需要結合近年來的所有機經(jīng)真題進行主題句練習的設計,在課程內容進入到主題句講解之后,分批次將這些題目布置給學生操練,一個月的練習時間為宜。

  題目:It’s better to choose a university whose graduates have good job opportunities than a university who has famous professors.

  分析:E同學的主題句是這么寫的,“In the first place, famous professors can provide students with a better education.”就這個句子本身而言,已經(jīng)合格,但是,考慮到托福獨立寫作的評分標準之一“Sentence Variety”,我們完全有理由教會學生在主題句上做足“句式多樣性”的文章。將上述主題句發(fā)給另外一個經(jīng)過近一個月寫作訓練的同學進行詞句提升,一分鐘即寫了三個相關主題句出來,如下:

  1. It is illustrious professors that provide students with better education;

  2. Illustrious professors are so decisive when they come to providing students with better education;

  3. Hardly can students expect to obtain better education without illustrious professors. 這已完全符合“邏輯嚴謹”、“言簡意賅”和“句式多樣”的要求。

  注:設計題目和學生配合練習是關鍵,建議在開課之后即進行寫作學習規(guī)劃,要細致到每一天,按照上述三個維度,分階段推進。

  托福寫作之如何寫一個topic sentence(主題句)

  所謂主題句(topic sentence, 也有人叫它中心句),就是獨立寫作主體段中統(tǒng)領全文的那個句子,也就是表述在獨立寫作頭腦風暴和謀篇布局時候想到的“主要理由”或者“論點”的那個句子。通常一篇獨立寫作有三個主題句。

  例如在題目“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is betterto work in large companies than in small ones.”,選擇agree,三個主題句可以是:

  The first reason is that a large company can provide more opportunities to develop one’s ability

  Another reason for choosing a big company involves welfare.

  A third reason is that one who appreciates the unique culture of abig enterprise will become a more responsible person to the society.

  在托福寫作中,三個主題句可以說是作文中最重要的一組句子,因為主題句對段落起到“提綱挈領”的作用,同時對整篇文章的結構清晰度和文章邏輯性也至關重要。

  如何將這個理由“完整”“清晰”“出彩”的表達出來就是本文討論的話題。

  首先,每段主題句通常都位于段首,緊跟于“first, second, third”這些“信號詞”之后。除此之外還需要注意以下幾點。

  丨簡明扼要

  主題句需要讓讀者看到之后能夠快速、準確地把握本段的主要內容。這要求我們在寫主題句的時候,一方面內容要簡單,另一方面用語要凝練。

  先來看一個反面例子:

  “First and foremost, television, invented in the last century, withits wide availability and increasingly prosperous programs ,becomes one of the most powerful means of communication in history, and is more and more difficult to ignore”

  這個主題句涵蓋的內容太多,讀完這個句子,讀者根本不明白本段是要陳述電視節(jié)目蓬勃發(fā)展(increasingly prosperous program), 要強調電視是最強力的交流工具(the most powerful means of communication in history),還是要論證電視不可被忽視(difficult to ignore),這就是一個典型的內容太復雜的主題句。

  再看一個反例:

  “First of all, following the new customs can show a sense of respect,which can allow a better and faster adaption inside the local population so that they make more friends.”

  這個句子也有兩個論點:表示尊重(show a sense of respect),擴大社交(make more friends),同樣也使讀者不能抓住本段的主要內容。

  如何避免這種錯誤,使主題句內容簡單呢?很簡單,首先做到每個主題句有且只有一個論點。論點就是指我們頭腦風暴時候想到的那些“key words”,比如健康,安全,情感等等,每段寫一個,不要把健康和安全放在同一個段落,也不要把情感和成功放在同一個段落。

  例如上面第二個例子,我們只需要刪去一個論點,就可以變得非常簡潔:

  “To start with, accepting cultures in the foreign country is an indispensable element that contributes to the expansion of social circle.”這是一個簡潔的主題句,只有擴大社交(contributes to the expansion of social circle)這一個論點。

  論點唯一還不一定能完全做到簡潔,來看另一個反例:

  “The first reason why letting children care for animals isnot the best way to teach them about responsibility is that it could negatively impact a child’s health.”

  這句話雖然只有一個論點,可是用語太繁雜,讓人頭暈。主題句的語法不建議太復雜,建議大家把花式操作留到其他部分去秀,在主題句,只要寫一些簡單句,例如:“First, raising pets will exert a negative impact on a child’shealth.”就行了。

  丨不是陳述事實

  來看下面兩個句子:

  A: “First, some children might be infected by feeding animals.”

  B: “First, raising pets could negatively impact a child’s health.”

  哪一個是好的主題句呢?

  答案是B。

  因為A句的內容是一個“純粹的事實”,而B句則是“抽象的概念”(exert negative impact),換言之,A句可以作為B句的例子,但B句不能作為A句的例子。

  陳述事實的句子是不能作為主題句的,事實是不言自明的。不言自明,也就不需要后面的文字來“論證”了。主題句需要寫“a sentence that you could give examples for”,而不能寫一個 “example”。

  來練習判斷下面幾組句子中哪一個可以做主題句呢?

  A: “Second, the academic performance of some children becomes poor after they are responsible for caring for a pet.”

  B:“Second, caring for a pet could disrupt a child’s regular studies.”

  A: “First, people could learn how to communicate with eachother through participating in community activities”

  B: “First, participating in community activities is apractical and effective approach to enhance their social skills.”

  A: “First, letting children take care of animal is a good suggestion for the reason that kids like animals.”

  B: “To start with, raising pets fill friendship vacuums and satisfy people’s need to nurture"

  (答案:三組都是B句較好)

  丨使用高級詞匯

  很多同學要問,如果主題句中不建議使用復雜句型,又不能出現(xiàn)多層結構,那如何顯示自己的語言功力呢?要知道我們展示語言能力的地方并非只有復雜的句型,豐富和精準的詞匯使用,同樣可以展示英語的專業(yè)程度。比如

  “First, go to museums can teach people different kinds of knowledge”

  → “First, visiting museums provide people with an opportunity to comprehend a vast amount of knowledge”

  想想看,如果原本句子中只會寫“good”之處,替換為“advantageous, beneficial, effective, efficacious, favorable,invaluable, rewarding, unparalleled, unprecedented”等等詞匯,效果是不是更好呢?如果多次出現(xiàn)“important”的地方,改寫為“central, critical ,crucial, decisive, essential, pivotal, primary,principal, vital,a key to, an indispensable part, play a pivotal role, attach great importance to”會不會增加可讀性呢?

  在平時的閱讀中,注意積累一些“高級詞匯”,準確掌握詞義,并且刻意練習使用這些詞匯,逐漸就會取得不錯的寫作成績。

  托福獨立寫作三大類別介紹

  1、簡單說明文 Explanation

  結構:

  首段:背景介紹(Back Information),引出話題,提出主旨,即主題句(Thesis Statement)

  教師指導托福獨立寫作三大類別詳解

  主體段:Supporting,即列出理由和引用具體例子來進行說理論述。

  例:

  In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

  分析:

  首段可以提出人們如今平均壽命較之前有了大幅度的上漲,引出主要內容,提出自己的觀點。

  中間段,可以分成來說明這個現(xiàn)象的具體原因,如:人們飲食條件的提升,不再存在吃不飽的情況,而且飲食也越來越科學越來越方便;醫(yī)療技術也越來越發(fā)達,醫(yī)治不及導致死亡的情況減少;經(jīng)濟社會比較穩(wěn)定。

  句型:

  Among various factors that …… are A, B and C.

  A is a very important factor.

  Equally important is the ……

  Matching A and B is another essential factor ,C.

  注意:

  主題句要注意盡量不要只使用抽象名詞,而且用詞、時態(tài)要注意,主題句應該值得解釋、值得證明。

  2、對比對照說明文 Compare and Contrast:

  結構:

  首段同簡單說明文,包括背景信息和主旨的介紹。

  主體段則是進行對比對照(Compare and Contrast),同一事物的不同方面或者是同一方面的不同事物等。注意條例一定要清楚。

  結尾重申觀點,結論。

  句型:

  Somebody assert that B is better than A. However, I want to reason that A is better than B.

  對比對照排列順序(兩種方法):

  a) A三對一錯,B三錯一對

  b) A三對B一對,B三錯A一錯

  注意:

  順序很重要!結論不重要

  3 立論文 Argumentation

  結構:

  要注意的一點是,這類作文的立場可能不只一個,不能以對錯來判斷。

  首段:介紹文章的背景信息,提出自己的觀點和看法。

  第二段,具體闡述自己的觀點,通過一些事例的引用和論證。

  第三段,駁論,反駁與自己相反的觀點。

  結尾,做出總結,重述自己的立場。

  注意:

  Argumentation是以讀者為導向的,有時候順序、結論并不重要,說服重于表達。

  托福獨立寫作范文解析

  Do you agree or disagree:All university students should be required to take basic science courses even if they are not in the career goal.

  題型分類:絕對題+應不應該題

  論證角度:利弊分析

  觀點選擇:讓步

  開頭:同意所有的大學生都應該學學基礎的科學課。(話題引入+他人觀點+明確立場+過渡)

  In general, all university courses can be divided into two kinds: liberal arts and science, which both serve as an impetus to the development of society. Lately, an interesting discussion has arisen about whether all university students should be required to take basic science courses even if they are not in the career goal. From my perspective, I am a big fan of science and I fully advocate that basic science courses are a necessity for every university student. My reasons and examples are as follows. (86 words)

  中間段1:科學是社會發(fā)展的第一推動力,學理科的學生學基礎科學課可以打好基礎,學文科的學生有基礎科學知識今后更有優(yōu)勢。(主題句+說理論證+細節(jié)例子)

  Firstly, it is no denying that science is the primary productive force. From the past to present, numerous cases have proved that our world’s rapid development is based on the remarkable progress of science and technology. University students, whatever their majors are, will benefit a lot from the basic science courses they have taken. Students of science can certainly enhance their foundation of scientific knowledge and those who study liberal arts will be advantageous in job market if they also have a basic understanding of science. In modern society, almost all individuals who change the world have been under the influence of science and technology in university, such as Steve jobs, Zuckerberg and Jack Ma. (115 words)

  中間段2:在基礎科學課上所培養(yǎng)的邏輯思維、實驗精神對今后工作有重要的影響。(主題句+說理論證+細節(jié)例子)

  Besides, what students learned in basic science courses will exert positive influence on their future careers. These valuable assets they can amass in science courses are logical thinking, analytical skills, the spirit to question authority and the emphasis on experiments. In fact, these qualities are an essential guarantee of high working efficiency, whatever the work is. Look at this counter example. If one has never been exposed to any science courses, he must lack the awareness of doing experiments. Thus, in the work, he is likely to put any idea he thinks of into practice without testing its feasibility, which will obviously bring harms to his work. (107 words)

  讓步段:誠然,題目中的說法確實顯得有些絕對,因為有一部分文科學生,學習能力差,本專業(yè)課還沒有學到家的,強硬讓他們學習科學課,是不合適的。但可以加適量的基礎科學課到教學計劃中。(承認漏洞+堵漏)

  Admittedly, the statement that all students should be required to study basic science courses appears arbitrary and unilateral, because it is not appropriate to make basic science courses mandatory for some liberal-arts students who even have difficulties in their own majors. However, in light of the significance of scientific literacy, school authorities can add a proper number of basic science courses into the teaching schedule and make them optional for those weak in study. (74)

  結尾:重申觀點+歸納理由/升華主題

  In conclusion, basic science courses are the foundation of anyone who wants to survive in this highly competitive modern world. If you do not want to regret in the future, seize the present and participate in some basic science courses in university because you never know something you have learnt in the course will be a great helper to your future career. (62 words)



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