社交場(chǎng)合脫身技巧
如何輕松得體地從那些“粘人”的社交場(chǎng)合中脫身?如何逃離聚會(huì)中的無(wú)聊談話?如何結(jié)束一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)執(zhí)?對(duì)于這些常見(jiàn)的尷尬處境，本文將教你幾招，讓你和尷尬說(shuō)拜拜。接下來(lái)，小編給大家準(zhǔn)備了社交場(chǎng)合脫身技巧,歡迎大家參考與借鑒。
社交場(chǎng)合脫身技巧
Escape a dull coversation 結(jié)束無(wú)聊的談話
At a cocktail2 party (assuming you haven’t made the mistake of sitting down with the person), it’s fine to excuse yourself to get a drink or food, help the hostess, or make a phone call. (If you did sit down, employ the same tactics. It’s just a little more awkward having to get up.) To avoid an embarrassing getaway “gotcha,” be sure to follow through on your excuse — that is, get the drink, help the hostess, make a call.
在雞尾酒會(huì)上(假設(shè)你還沒(méi)傻傻地和一個(gè)無(wú)聊的人一塊坐下)，如果想抽身，就托辭去拿飲料或食物、幫助女主人或打電話(如果你坐下了，也可以采取同樣辦法，不過(guò)會(huì)稍微尷尬一些)。為了不讓你在”勝利大逃亡“中被尷尬地逮住，就一定要”說(shuō)到做到“，即：去拿飲料、幫女主人、打電話。
nother tried-and-true tactic3? Introduce the bore to someone else, excuse yourself, and scram. This way, you avoid leaving the bore stranded4, and he becomes someone else’s problem. Who knows? They may hit it off.
有別的切實(shí)可行的招數(shù)嗎?你可以把這無(wú)聊的人介紹給別人，然后找個(gè)借口趕緊撤!這樣就避免了被無(wú)聊的人纏身，他成了別人的麻煩?？烧l(shuí)知道呢?說(shuō)不定那兩人會(huì)很投機(jī)。
Escape a telemarketer 逃離電話營(yíng)銷員
A polite “Thanks, I’m not interested” is your best response to unwanted calls. “The caller will probably come back with a benefit statement or a probing question” — such as Are you aware this will cut your insurance bill in half? — says Kimberly King, president of InterWeave Corporation, a customer-service consulting firm in Tampa. Again, thank the person and hang up. Don’t let her rattle6 on, which is a waste of your time and hers. And never explain or volunteer anything. Telemarketers work from a script with responses to common customer objections (called “soft no’s” in the industry). Saying another family member needs to make the decision will only lead to more questions: What time will he be in? Can I call back then? Finally, ask to be taken off the calling list, and wait for the telemarketer to do it before you hang up. That extra minute is worth it.
一句客氣的“謝謝，我不感興趣”是給煩人電話的最好答復(fù)。打電話的人大概又會(huì)說(shuō)他/她將給你帶來(lái)什么樣的好處，或者問(wèn)你這樣的問(wèn)題，比如Kimberly King會(huì)問(wèn)：“你知道嗎，這能讓你的保險(xiǎn)帳單費(fèi)減半?！?Kimberly KingInter是Weave Corporation的總裁，這是一家位于坦帕市的客服咨詢公司。你繼續(xù)說(shuō)謝謝，然后就掛斷電話。別由她嘰里呱啦說(shuō)個(gè)不停，浪費(fèi)你倆的時(shí)間。不要做任何解釋或自愿做任何事情。電話營(yíng)銷員都采用一個(gè)腳本來(lái)對(duì)付客戶通常做出的拒絕(行話叫“軟拒絕”)。如果你回答道：這要由家人做決定。那他/她就會(huì)窮追不舍，提出更多問(wèn)題：他什么時(shí)候會(huì)在家里? 到時(shí)候我再打電話好嗎?最后，只好要求他/她把你的號(hào)碼從呼叫單上撤除，并且要求對(duì)方撤除后你再掛電話。多花點(diǎn)時(shí)間是值得的。
Escape a Stumper 如何對(duì)付“提難題的人”
How do you say “I don’t know” without sounding, well, dumb? Especially in a nerve-racking setting, like a job interview? Be direct, says Sue Shellenbarger, a career-advice columnist7 at the Wall Street Journal: Just say, “That’s a great question. I’d like to think about it and get back to you.”
要怎樣說(shuō)“我不知道”才能讓自己聽(tīng)上去不傻?尤其在一個(gè)讓人緊張的場(chǎng)合，比如工作面試?華爾街的職業(yè)建議專欄作家Sue Shellenbarger的建議是：坦白。只要說(shuō)：“這個(gè)問(wèn)題很好，我要先考慮一下再回答?！?/p>
If you don’t have a good answer because you haven’t been doing your job well, apologize and specify8 when you’ll get back on the query9; then be sure to do so or you’ll lose credibility. If putting off the question isn’t an option (you’re a keynote speaker at an event; you’re being interviewed on TV), employ the Ted5 Kennedy strategy, says Anne Fisher, who writes Ask Annie, a career-advice column for CNNMoney. com: “Say, ‘That’s a good question, but an even more interesting question is.…’” Then talk about what you do know. “It’s worked for Kennedy,” says Fisher. “He’s been elected eight times.”
如果是因?yàn)樽约旱墓ぷ饕恢睕](méi)做好而找不到一個(gè)好的答案，那么就道歉，然后確定何時(shí)反饋該問(wèn)題的結(jié)果;然后，一定要說(shuō)話算話，否則你將會(huì)失去信用了。如果不可能推遲回答問(wèn)題(例如你在演講或在電視上被采訪)，Anne Fisher說(shuō)可以采取Ted Kennedy(肯尼迪總統(tǒng)的弟弟)的策略。Anne Fisher是CNNMoney網(wǎng)站職業(yè)建議專欄《問(wèn)安妮》專欄作家。你可以說(shuō)“這個(gè)問(wèn)題問(wèn)得很好，但更有趣的是......” 然后就說(shuō)你知道的。” Fisher說(shuō)：“這個(gè)辦法幫過(guò)Kennedy的忙。他贏得八次議員選舉?！?/p>
Escape a spat10 with your significant other 如何結(jié)束爭(zhēng)執(zhí)
He started it. Well, maybe you did. Either way, you don’t want to talk about it anymore. Do you have to finish what you began? No, says David Ransburg, a therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Evanston, Illinois. In fact, you shouldn’t continue until you’re calm. “When we’re in a ‘flooded’ emotional state, access to the part of the brain where logical thinking resides is inhibited12, and IQ drops noticeably — perhaps by as much as 15 points,” says Ransburg. “This is when we say things we wish we could take back.” So call a time-out. Typically, your logic11 will return in about 20 minutes, at which point you can resume the discussion in a productive way.
剛才是他引發(fā)的爭(zhēng)吵，嗯，說(shuō)不定是你。但不管是誰(shuí)，反正你不想再吵下去了。一定要吵出個(gè)究竟才會(huì)罷休嗎?David Ransburg說(shuō)：不。David Ransburg是伊利諾斯州Evanston市西北大學(xué)家庭學(xué)院的一名治療學(xué)家。他說(shuō)，實(shí)際上，在你心情平靜前，不應(yīng)該繼續(xù)說(shuō)下去。 Ransburg說(shuō)：“爭(zhēng)吵時(shí)，我們都處于一個(gè)“頭腦發(fā)脹“的狀態(tài)，不理智，智商顯著下降了大概15個(gè)點(diǎn)，這時(shí)候說(shuō)過(guò)的話會(huì)讓我們后悔”。所以，先暫停。通常，你的邏輯能力會(huì)在大約20分鐘后恢復(fù)，然后以具有成果性的方式進(jìn)行討論。
If you can’t call a time-out midspat, practice with tiny disagreements, suggests Ransburg, when you’re both less likely to take things personally。
如果你不能”中場(chǎng)暫停“，Ransburg的建議是，人們用細(xì)小的爭(zhēng)論來(lái)練習(xí)，因?yàn)榇藭r(shí)你們兩人較不容易感情用事。
擴(kuò)展：如何擺脫一個(gè)話癆
Your father-in-law is telling you that story about foiling the pickpocket1 in Moscow -- for the fifth time. Do you let him know you’ve heard it before and can tell it better than he does? “If the story is longer than a minute and the two of you are alone, do interrupt to tell him that you’ve heard — and enjoyed — that story once before,” says Margaret Shepherd, a coauthor of The Art of Civilized2 Conversation. Try: “You had everyone in stitches when you told that story last Christmas.” No need to add that you’ve heard the story for the last four Christmases. “Segue to a related topic,” suggests Shepherd, and if possible, draw in another person to freshen up the conversation.
你的岳父正給你講述他在莫斯科挫敗扒手的故事-——已經(jīng)能是第五次了。你要告訴他你以前就聽(tīng)過(guò)，而且你能比他說(shuō)得還溜嗎?“如果故事時(shí)間超過(guò)一分鐘，并且在場(chǎng)只有你們兩人，那還是打斷一下，告訴他你聽(tīng)過(guò)一次，也喜歡聽(tīng)這段故事?！?這是Margaret Shepherd給人們的建議。Margaret Shepherd是《文明談話藝術(shù)》一書(shū)的合著者。你可以試著說(shuō)：”去年您在過(guò)圣誕節(jié)時(shí)講的時(shí)候，大家都笑得合不攏嘴“，你就別說(shuō)這四年來(lái)每次圣誕節(jié)都聽(tīng)這故事了。Shepherd建議：“用一個(gè)相關(guān)話題順著接下去”，如果可能，再拉一個(gè)人過(guò)來(lái)，增加談話的內(nèi)容。
With older people whose memory may be slipping or when you’re in a group, though, it can be cruel to interrupt, says author Letitia Baldrige: “Patiently listen and wait for a chance to change the subject. If they’re thrilled to be telling the story, dismissing them too suddenly is like smooshing an ant.”
不過(guò)，如果對(duì)方年紀(jì)比較大，記憶力在減退，或你在一群人中，那么打斷就很不禮貌了。這是作家Letitia Baldrige的話。“(你要)耐心聽(tīng)，找到一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)移話題。如果這樣的故事讓他們激動(dòng)，突然打斷他們就會(huì)像碾死一只螞蟻一樣讓人不安?！?/p>
How to Escape Being in the Wrong Restaurant 如何逃離“錯(cuò)餐館”
You’ve been seated, they’ve given you water and bread, and you decide — because the place is a bit grimy or too expensive, or nothing on its menu is appealing — that you want to leave. Can you just get up and go? “My policy is never to settle when it comes to food,” says Danyelle Freeman, a restaurant reviewer for New York’s Daily News and the founder3 of the website Restaurantgirl.com. “If you feel like you’ve made a bad choice, cut your losses and quietly exit. If the restaurant has already put water and bread on the table, they’ve technically4 begun service, so you should perhaps leave a small tip.”
If your server catches you on the way out, Freeman says, “graciously thank the person and briefly5 explain that you’re looking for something lighter6, more casual, or whatever else the restaurant isn’t.” Don’t linger making excuses. “At the end of the day,” says Freeman, “it’s your money.”
你已經(jīng)座了下來(lái)。有人給你上水和面包，然后——因?yàn)檫@個(gè)地方有點(diǎn)不太干凈或價(jià)格太貴，或者菜單上沒(méi)什么能讓你感興趣——于是，你決定離開(kāi)。能站起來(lái)就走嗎?Danyelle Freeman說(shuō)：“我的原則是，吃絕不能將就。” Danyelle Freeman是紐約日?qǐng)?bào)新聞的一位餐館評(píng)論員及網(wǎng)站Restaurantgirl.com的創(chuàng)辦者。 “如果覺(jué)得進(jìn)錯(cuò)了地方，就及時(shí)打住，安靜地離開(kāi)。如果餐館人員已經(jīng)上了水和面包，那么，嚴(yán)格地說(shuō)，就已經(jīng)開(kāi)始對(duì)你服務(wù)了，所以你應(yīng)該留一筆小數(shù)目的小費(fèi)?！?/p>
Freeman 說(shuō)，如果在離開(kāi)的時(shí)候被服務(wù)員發(fā)現(xiàn)，那么"禮貌地謝謝那個(gè)人，簡(jiǎn)短說(shuō)自己想去一個(gè)更明亮、更隨意，或者任何和這家不同的地方。"不要逗留在原處找借口，再怎么說(shuō)，錢到底怎么花，還是你自己說(shuō)了算。“ Freeman說(shuō)。
How to Escape a Sermon 如果逃避一位“說(shuō)教者”
You may escape faster—and avoid future rants7 — if you take a moment to hear the person out, says author Margaret Shepherd: “Don’t debunk8 their beliefs, tease, ignore, argue, scoff9, or demean. They’ll just try harder to convince you.” Let the person spew for a couple of minutes before you introduce a neutral subject or make your exit.
Offensive rants—racist, misogynist10, or obscene — are an exception. In those cases, cut the speaker off as soon as possible with a simple “Excuse me — I’ve got to go.” If the sermon takes place at work and other people are present, enlist11 their help. “They probably don’t want to hear it either,” says author Anne Fisher. After listening to the lecturer for a minute or two, say, “It’s interesting you feel so strongly about that, Joe. Hey, Sally, what did you think about the sales meeting last week?” Unless the person “is a total bonehead,” says author Anne Fisher, “he or she will take the hint.”
如果你耐心聽(tīng)完這人的話，也許反而能更快地脫離，還能避免更多的嘮叨。這是Margaret Shepherd的話?！眲e揭穿他們的信仰，別去嘲笑、忽視、爭(zhēng)辯、不敬或貶低。那樣只會(huì)讓他們更努力地去說(shuō)服你。“讓那人說(shuō)上幾分鐘，然后表達(dá)你中性的話題，或者是離開(kāi)。
那些帶有進(jìn)攻性的長(zhǎng)篇大論的人——種族主義者，厭惡女人的人，猥褻的人——則是例外。這時(shí)候，用最簡(jiǎn)單的話”勞駕，我要走了“來(lái)終止談話。如果這種說(shuō)教發(fā)生在辦公場(chǎng)所，在場(chǎng)有其他人，那么請(qǐng)求他人幫助。”他們可能也不愿聽(tīng)，“ 作家Anne Fisher說(shuō)。在聽(tīng)了一兩分鐘之后，你可以說(shuō)：”真有趣，你對(duì)這感覺(jué)這么強(qiáng)烈。張三，李四，王二，你們對(duì)上周的銷售會(huì)議怎么看?“ 除非那人是一個(gè)徹底的榆木腦袋，不然肯定會(huì)知趣。
How to Escape an Inebriated12 Coworker 如何逃離一位醉酒后的同事
An after-work drink with the new assistant sounded like fun, but three drinks later she is anything but. Can you ditch her? “No,” says author Anne Fisher. “Leaving a drunk to fend13 for herself could be dangerous, especially if he or she is planning to drive. You must either pour this person into a taxicab or drive him or her home.” Use any excuse you’d like to call it a night. (“I have so much to get ready for tomorrow.” “I’ve got to feed the dog.” “My mother phones me at 11 pm and I have to be home for her call.”)
To mitigate14 any morning-after awkwardness with someone you’ll continue to see, shrug15 off her own comments about being embarrassed (don’t rub it in) and extend an occasional lunch invitation, says Fisher. Make sure you go “someplace that doesn’t serve anything stronger than iced tea.” And remember: Lots of people are “instant idiots” (just add alcohol) but fine company when sober.
和新來(lái)的助手下班后一起喝酒聽(tīng)上去很不錯(cuò)，但是酒過(guò)三巡后，她形象盡失。能丟下她不管嗎? ”不可以，“ 作家Anne Fisher說(shuō)，”讓喝醉了酒的人去照顧自己是危險(xiǎn)的做法，尤其當(dāng)他/她還打算開(kāi)車的話。你可以將此人扶入一輛出租車，或開(kāi)車送他/她回家?！?你可以隨便找一個(gè)理由來(lái)打住(”還要為明天做很多準(zhǔn)備“，”我家有狗要喂“，“我母親晚上11點(diǎn)會(huì)給我打電話，我要回去接電話”)。
為了減少第二天早上和還要見(jiàn)面的那個(gè)人之間的尷尬，對(duì)她說(shuō)自己感覺(jué)窘迫的話一帶而過(guò)(別反而去提醒她)，然后，邀請(qǐng)她有時(shí)間去吃一頓午飯。一定要注意你們?nèi)サ牡胤健白疃嘀还?yīng)冰茶”。還要記?。汉芏嗳硕际恰八偃馨装V”(只要“溶”一些酒精就變白癡)，但在他們清醒的時(shí)候，仍是一位不錯(cuò)的同伴。
How to Escape a Run-In with a Long-Lost “Pal” 如何逃離和多年不見(jiàn)的“老友”的相遇
If you barely have enough time for the friends you have now, be wary16 of taking on someone you haven’t missed that much and nip this encounter in the bud — nicely, of course. During the initial meeting, show some enthusiasm — “Great to see you!” — but don’t overdo17 it. “Don’t even vaguely18 suggest having lunch if your gut19 feeling is ‘Get me out of here,’” says author Margaret Shepherd.
If the person insists on a “date” and keeps calling or e-mailing to follow up, Shepherd suggests spelling out the terms you can live with: location (close to you), duration (short), purpose (Is it strictly20 personal, or is there a business motive21?). Also, be direct about anything you don’t want to discuss. (“I’d love to catch up on what you’re doing, but if we’re going to talk about that horrible personnel manager one more time, let’s call it off.”) Meet with the person once, and keep in mind that you don’t have to see him or her again if your opinion hasn’t changed.
如果你的時(shí)間剛好只能貢獻(xiàn)給你現(xiàn)在的朋友，在重逢那些交情淺的朋友時(shí)要小心，把這樣的巧遇要“扼殺在搖籃里”——當(dāng)然，是友善地。最初見(jiàn)面時(shí)，表現(xiàn)出一些熱心：“見(jiàn)到你真好!”但別過(guò)度?！叭绻阈睦锵胫蔽蚁胱摺?，那么也不要表現(xiàn)出絲毫要邀請(qǐng)此人共進(jìn)午餐的跡象，”作家Margaret Shepherd說(shuō)。
如果那人堅(jiān)持要再見(jiàn)面，且再不斷給你打電話或發(fā)電子郵件，Shepherd的建議是：把你的條件一一說(shuō)明白：地點(diǎn)(離你家近)，時(shí)間(短)，目的(單單涉及個(gè)人，還是另有商業(yè)企圖?)。同樣，直接說(shuō)出你不愿意交談的內(nèi)容(“我是想和你聯(lián)絡(luò)感情，可如果還要去談?wù)撃莻€(gè)鬼人事經(jīng)理的話，那就算了”)去和這人見(jiàn)一次面。記住，除非你改變主意，否則就不要再去見(jiàn)他/她了。
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