雅思英語高分作文賞析
雅思英語高分作文賞析
今天小編想要教給大家的是如何寫出一篇高分雅思大作文，一起來看看吧。
范文一、Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
(一)、寫作結(jié)構(gòu)剖析
There is no doubt that traffic and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems, both in cities and on motorways everywhere. (I think that) Solving these problems is likely to need more than a simple rise in the price of petrol.
首段就是改寫題目 + 個人觀點(diǎn)。雖然沒有用 I think / my view is that 表明個人觀點(diǎn)，more than 卻能緊扣主題：不能僅僅通過提升油價(jià)改善交通和環(huán)境。
While it is undeniable that private car use is one of the main causes of the increase in traffic and pollution, higher fuel costs are unlikely to limit the number of drivers for long. (解釋原因) As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with everyone who needs to travel on the roads. But there are various other measures that could be implemented that would have a huge effect on these problems.
對于含有絕對詞的題目，通常的論證邏輯是認(rèn)同題目給出的方法是合理或有效的，再提出更有效的措施反駁題目的 the best way (比如: 主體段3)。
主體段1 的論證邏輯是直接反駁題目中的觀點(diǎn) (好也是壞，事情有兩面性)，括號內(nèi)是為了幫助大家理解文章結(jié)構(gòu)而后添加的，如下解析：
雖然私家車的使用是導(dǎo)致交通阻塞和環(huán)境污染的主要原因之一，(提升油價(jià)能夠在一定程度上減少私家車的使用)，但是也會提升公共交通出行的成本。(因此，提升油價(jià)不是一個最好的辦法)
I think to tackle the problem of pollution, cleaner fuels need to be developed. (This is because) The technology is already available to produce electric cars that would be both quieter and cleaner to use. (Therefore) Persuading manufacturers and travellers to adopt this new technology would be a more effective strategy for improving air quality, especially in cities. (提出解決措施: 對應(yīng)題目第2個問號)
考官范文段落拓展邏輯清晰可見：主旨句(提出更有效的解決措施) + 解釋 / 舉例子(新能源汽車) + 段內(nèi)總結(jié)
However, traffic congestion will not be solved by changing the type of private vehicle people can use. To do this, we need to improve the choice of public transport services available to travellers. For example, if sufficient sky trains and underground train systems were built and effectively maintained in our major cities, then traffic on the roads would be dramatically reduced. Long-distance train and coach services should be made attractive and affordable alternatives to driving your own car for long journeys.
(二)、駁論段寫作邏輯：提出反方觀點(diǎn)(可省略) + 反駁題目觀點(diǎn) + 解決措施
駁論段中到底如何反駁?
我們通常給出“解決方法”或“壞也是好”或“新理由”進(jìn)行反駁，下面例子幫助理解：
1. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (蘋果手機(jī)價(jià)格太貴)。However，反駁A事物的不好 (解決方法：年輕人可以通過做兼職或省下平時的零用錢來買這部手機(jī))。
2. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (蘋果手機(jī)價(jià)格太貴)。However，反駁A事物的不好 (壞也是好：正是因?yàn)橘F，年輕人在使用的時候才會特別在意，從而延長了手機(jī)的使用壽命)。
3. Admittedly，A事物也有不好 (蘋果手機(jī)價(jià)格太貴)。However，反駁A事物的不好 (新理由：蘋果手機(jī)很少出現(xiàn)故障，所以貴點(diǎn)也值得)。
In conclusion, I think that long-term traffic and pollution reductions would depend on educating the public to use public transport more, and on governments using public money to construct and run efficient systems.
總結(jié)：教育是解決一切問題的根本途徑
范文二、Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
先思考一個問題：題目中括弧中的內(nèi)容是否需要論證?
(一)、寫作結(jié)構(gòu)剖析
It has been suggested that high school students should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of the colleges are already providing opportunities to gain work experience, however these are not compulsory. In my opinion, sending students to work in communities services is a good idea as it can provide them with many lots of valuable skills.
首段第一句改寫題目，第二句看似也是改寫，但前半句更像是引入背景。第三句是給出個人觀點(diǎn)：同意做免費(fèi)社區(qū)服務(wù)對學(xué)生有好處，使用了 as 引導(dǎo)原因狀語從句概括了好在哪里。
Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work, students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organizational skills. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are no longer that popular and students mostly go home and sit in front of the TV, browse internet or play video games.
上面段落中，第1句說明生活技能很重要，并進(jìn)行了解釋 (溝通，合作 ，管理實(shí)踐，提升組織能力);第2句使用了對比論證 (現(xiàn)在的年輕人很少有課外活動 after-school activities) ，目的就是首尾呼應(yīng)，證明生活技能很重要。
By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, they will be encouraged to do something more creative (個人認(rèn)為此句跟下一句的內(nèi)容關(guān)聯(lián)性不大). Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability. Students will also gain more respect towards work and money as they will realize that it is not that easy to earn them and hopefully will learn to spend them in a more practical way.
上面段落中，第1句和第2句關(guān)聯(lián)性，我個人更傾向于修改成：By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, students may increase their employability, earn a higher salary and make more contribution to the society. 本段主要說明強(qiáng)制性社區(qū)服務(wù)可以提高就業(yè)率。
Healthy life balance and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS, and therefore any kind of spare time charity work will prevent from sitting and doing nothing. It could also possibly reduce the crime level in the high school age group. If students have activities to do, they will not to be bored and come up with silly ideas which can be dangerous for them or their surroundings.
最后一句使用了 If 條件句正向論證，如果有事可干，年輕人就不太會做違法亂紀(jì)的事情。大家在寫作時也可以 If 進(jìn)行反向假設(shè)論證：如果不這樣做，會導(dǎo)致什么后果。
In conclusion, I think this is a very good idea, and I hope this programme will be put into action for high schools’ colleges shortly.
讀完文章后，我們會發(fā)現(xiàn)題目中括弧的內(nèi)容不需要在文章論證，因?yàn)檫@是考官為了讓大家更清晰的理解題意而進(jìn)行的舉例。
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