英語(yǔ)笑話大全
很多英語(yǔ)國(guó)家在漫長(zhǎng)的歷史中，廣泛流傳著很多經(jīng)典的幽默小笑話。今天，小編為大家準(zhǔn)備了幾則經(jīng)典的英語(yǔ)笑話，給大家來(lái)分享一下，希望大家開(kāi)心一笑，一起來(lái)看看吧!
英語(yǔ)笑話：先生，是去天體營(yíng)嗎?
Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"
在瓦湖島上度假時(shí)，我們坐在旅游車(chē)?yán)锏群虻絷?duì)的人。一位男子，明顯不是和我們一起的，朝旅游車(chē)走來(lái)并要上車(chē)。司機(jī)會(huì)怎么處理這種情況呢?我們都拭目以待。司機(jī)拉長(zhǎng)了臉，向車(chē)門(mén)靠過(guò)去，問(wèn)道：“先生，是去天體營(yíng)嗎?”
"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.
“哦，不，”剛想乘車(chē)的男子回答說(shuō)，迅速轉(zhuǎn)身而逃。
"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.
“每次都管用，”司機(jī)眨巴了一下眼睛說(shuō)。
【注釋】
(1) be about to(do)(表計(jì)劃)即將做
(2) straight-faced adj.板起面孔的
(3) nudist Colony天體營(yíng)(裸體主義者實(shí)行其信條的場(chǎng)所)
(4) retreating quickly迅速后退。這是一個(gè)分詞短語(yǔ)作狀語(yǔ)，表示伴隨狀況。
英語(yǔ)笑話：您說(shuō)我該怎么辦?
A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .
一位男子來(lái)到醫(yī)生的辦公室?！搬t(yī)生，每次我喝咖啡，我的右眼都有刺痛感。您說(shuō)我該怎么辦?”他問(wèn)道。
"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.
“把勺子從咖啡杯里拿出來(lái)?！贬t(yī)生回答說(shuō)。
【注釋】
(1) stabbing adj.刺痛的
(2) spoon n.匙子
英語(yǔ)笑話：我要出去
A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
在凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)，酒吧店主鎖了店門(mén)，回家睡覺(jué)。他剛躺下幾分鐘，這時(shí)電話響了?！澳阍缟蠋c(diǎn)營(yíng)業(yè)?”他聽(tīng)到一位明顯已醉醺醺的男子的聲音。
The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-"
店主非常氣憤，砰地一聲掛上電話又上床去睡。幾分鐘后又有一個(gè)電話，他聽(tīng)到還是那個(gè)聲音問(wèn)同樣的問(wèn)題?！奥?tīng)著，”店主嚷道，“不要問(wèn)我什么時(shí)候營(yíng)業(yè)，因?yàn)槲也粫?huì)讓你這種人進(jìn)----”
"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out“
我不是想進(jìn)來(lái)，”那人打斷他的話，“我要出去?！?/p>
【注釋】
(1) obviously adv.明顯的
(2) inebriated adj.酒醉的
(3) slam v.砰然放下
(4) interject v.突然插話
英語(yǔ)笑話：母親的腳
To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.
為避免我們的狗，萊希，糾纏來(lái)訪的客人，我母親常在愛(ài)犬喜歡呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩昵它。一天，一個(gè)建筑商來(lái)談居室裝潢工程。
As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.
在這人和我母親坐在餐桌邊談居室的修茸時(shí)，我母親滑脫了她的鞋子，開(kāi)始不經(jīng)意地用腳摩蹭起萊希來(lái)。
My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.
談話進(jìn)行了半個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)候，我母親突然感到很不好意思起來(lái)，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)她聽(tīng)到了萊希在前門(mén)外的犬吠聲。
【注釋】
(1) prevent (from)v.避免;阻止
(2) pester v.使苦惱;困擾
(3) massage v.按摩;揉捏
(4) lounge v.懶洋洋地坐著或站著
(5) contractor n.承包商
(6) improvement n.改進(jìn);改善
(7) renovation n.修復(fù);修理
(8) slip off滑脫;掉
(9) mindlessly adv.不注意地
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