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學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 熱門句子 > 句子大全 > 搞笑句子 > 有趣的英語句子帶翻譯

有趣的英語句子帶翻譯

時(shí)間: 燕青1042 分享

有趣的英語句子帶翻譯

  有趣的句子能夠使我們開心起來。你知道哪些有趣的英語句子帶翻譯嗎?下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家準(zhǔn)備的一些有趣的英語句子帶翻譯,歡迎大家參閱,希望大家喜歡。

  有趣的英語句子帶翻譯(精選篇)

  1、 "Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, hestepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.從前有個(gè)瞎子。一天,他正在行路時(shí)踩著了一只正在睡覺的狗的腦袋,狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。這人又往前走,這回踩著的是另外一只狗的尾巴,狗又汪汪汪地叫起來。瞎子以為還是那條狗,驚詫地說:奇怪,這只狗可真夠長的。"

  2、 ""i had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說:“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù),手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”"that's terrible!" said the friend. "got any pain?" “真是太糟糕了!”朋友說道:“你覺得疼嗎?”"no, but i am always thirsty!" “不疼,可是我總感到口渴!”"

  3、 "Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友:“這是一個(gè)粗暴的世界,所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。”朋友:“如果他碰上的對(duì)手是一個(gè)比他高大,健壯而且也會(huì)拳擊的人怎么辦?”丹:“我也會(huì)教他怎么樣賽跑呢。”"

  4、 "One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.有個(gè)女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪...Girl: Father, I have sinned.女孩:神父,我有罪。Preacher: What did you do, little girl?神父:孩子,你犯了什么罪呢?Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch."女孩:昨天,我罵了某個(gè)男人一句:“你這個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的。”Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?神父:為什么?他對(duì)你做了什么嗎?Girl: He touched my breast.女孩:他...他摸我的胸部。Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)神父:你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父伸手摸女孩的胸部)Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.女孩:(因?yàn)樯窀傅呐e動(dòng)而有一些害羞)嗯...是的。Preacher: That s no reason to call him that.神父:只是這樣子的話你沒有理由罵他。Girl: But he also took off my cloth.女孩:但是...他又把我的衣服脫掉。Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)神父:你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父動(dòng)手脫掉女孩的衣服)Girl: Yes, that s what he did.女孩:是的,是這樣子沒錯(cuò)。Preac" her: "That s still no reason to call him that.神父:可是這樣子你還是沒有理由罵他。Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...女孩:然後...他把他的...那個(gè)...放到我的...那個(gè)...里面...Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)神父:(奸笑貌)你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父和女孩就那個(gè)那個(gè)了)Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that s what he did...女孩:(數(shù)分鐘後)喔...是的...就是這樣子...Preacher: My dear girl, that s still no reason to call him a...神父:我親愛的孩子,就算是這樣你還是沒有理由罵他「你這個(gè)...」Girl: But he had AIDS!!女孩:但是他有AIDS呀!Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!神父:那個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的!!!"

  5、 "Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.媽媽:約翰尼,我今天早上在櫥子里放了兩塊點(diǎn)心。現(xiàn)在就剩下一塊了。你能解釋一下嗎?約翰尼:嗯,我想是因?yàn)槔锩嫣谖覜]看到另外那塊。"

  6、 "A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.一位婦人發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫回家的時(shí)候總是爛醉如泥,她決定為丈夫治好這個(gè)毛病。一個(gè)萬圣節(jié)夜里,她穿上一套魔鬼戲服,躲在樹后,準(zhǔn)備在丈夫返家時(shí)攔截他的去路。When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.當(dāng)丈夫走近時(shí),她從樹后跳出來,站到他面前,頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身后有長長的尾巴,手中握著鋼叉。"Who are you?" he asked.“你是誰?”丈夫問到。"I'm the Devil!" she responded.“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"“噢,那你跟我一起回家吧,”丈夫說,“我娶了你的姐妹!”"

  7、 "A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車,司機(jī)看到后說:“額,那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩。”The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."女士走到車廂后面坐下,感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說:“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說:“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧,我替你抱著你的猴子。”"

  8、 "A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”A bu有趣的英語句子帶翻譯ing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from   Oxford this very evening!”一群學(xué)生聚在牛津的校園里,一個(gè)年輕人情緒激動(dòng)地叫道:“毋庸置疑,如果那個(gè)家伙不收回他今早  對(duì)我說的話,我今晚就離開牛津。”下面一片喧嘩。“真是個(gè)言出必行的人。”一個(gè)人艷羨地說。另一個(gè)說:“我們要支持他、學(xué)習(xí)他。”突然,一個(gè)女孩問道:“那家伙對(duì)你說什么了,霍波?”他彎下腰小聲說:“哦,呃…呃…,羅斯小姐,呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”"

  9、 "One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.一天課上,老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理”為題寫一篇作文。所有的學(xué)生都在動(dòng)筆寫了,只有一個(gè)男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。"

  10、 ""What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man."I broke a mirror," he replied."But that means seven years of bad luck.""I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"這難道不好嗎?“你高興什么?”一個(gè)女士問一個(gè)98歲的老人。“我打碎了一個(gè)鏡子。”他回答。“但那預(yù)示著7年的壞運(yùn)氣。”“我知道。”他高興地說,“這難道不好嗎?”"

  有趣的英語句子帶翻譯(熱門篇)

  1、"A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.  She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"   A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"一群美國人乘長途汽車在荷蘭旅游。他們?cè)谝粋€(gè)奶酪場停下來。一位年輕的導(dǎo)游帶他們參觀了奶酪制作的全過程,解釋說用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個(gè)美麗的山坡,山坡上許多羊在吃草。對(duì)這些,她解釋說,是放逐草地的老羊,它們已不能再產(chǎn)奶。她然后問道:“在美國你們?cè)鯓犹幚砝涎蚰?”   一位活潑的老紳士回答說:“他們讓我們乘車旅行!”"

  2、Ask Your OwnIt was a cold,raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question,the urchin would make anaptreply.They sallied forth. “What time is it,Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose,”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own,mister,mine ain't run nin’,”was the reply.這是華盛頓的一個(gè)陰冷天。錢普·克拉克正和一個(gè)來訪的英國人討論城市的流浪兒,英國人詳細(xì)地?cái)⑹鲋鴤惗厥教觳诺臋C(jī)智??死诵Q,要是對(duì)方向華盛頓街上任何一個(gè)兒童提任何問題,那孩子都會(huì)對(duì)答如流。他們便出發(fā)了。 “什么時(shí)候了,小兄弟?人們說你能用鼻子報(bào)時(shí)。” 回答是:“先生,問問你自己的吧,的不在走呢。”

  3、"The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked."I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied."Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean."No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.農(nóng)校的招生辦主任在面試一個(gè)上線的學(xué)生,“你為何要選擇這個(gè)職業(yè)?”他問。 “我夢(mèng)想以經(jīng)營農(nóng)場來賺一百萬元,就像我父親一樣。”這個(gè)學(xué)生回答說。 “你父親經(jīng)營農(nóng)場賺了一百萬元?”主任驚詫地問道。“沒有,”這位申請(qǐng)人回答道,“他總是夢(mèng)想著賺到這個(gè)數(shù)目。”"

  4、"Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.  Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了,富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過很多女孩,但“從不過熱----見好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想,決定四處走走,去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。他回來即嘆道:“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”"

  5、"A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."  "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes.""Where is the shopping bag?"   "I haven't got one-use your hat."一個(gè)小男孩向他母親哭訴道:“他們都取笑我,說我腦袋大。” “別聽他們的,”他母親安慰道,“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的腦袋。好啦,別哭了,去商店買十斤土豆來。”   “購物袋在哪兒?”   “沒購物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”"

  6、"Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學(xué)校去,在紅燈處右拐了,而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國家如英國,其交通規(guī)則是車輛左行的,與我國相反)。啊噢,意識(shí)到犯了錯(cuò)誤,我說。我剛才拐彎是違章的。我想那沒關(guān)系的,女兒回答說:我們后面的警車也同樣拐了彎。"

  7、"A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客輕拍了一下出租車司機(jī)的肩膀,想問個(gè)問題。司機(jī)大叫起來,車也失去了控制,幾乎撞上一輛公車,還上了便道,在還差幾厘米就撞上商店櫥窗時(shí)終于停了下來。司機(jī)說:“伙計(jì),別再這么干了。你把我嚇破膽了!”乘客抱歉地說,“我沒想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣。” 司機(jī)說:“對(duì)不起,也不全是你的錯(cuò)。今天是我第一天開出租,以前25年里我一直開殯葬車。”"

  8、A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".一個(gè)竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個(gè)喜歡的CD機(jī),他趕緊拿了。就在這個(gè)時(shí)候他聽到有人說:“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來看去,嘀咕著:“到底是什么人在說話?”這時(shí),他看到桌子上有些錢,他又拿了。。。那聲音又來了:“耶穌正在看著你。”他躲到一個(gè)角落,想找出是誰在說話。結(jié)果看到一只鸚鵡,于是他問鸚鵡:“是你在說話嗎?”鸚鵡承認(rèn)了。 小賊說:“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小賊說:“什么人給鳥取這種名字?”鸚鵡回答:“就是那個(gè)給他的羅威那犬取名為‘耶穌’的那個(gè)人啊。”

  9、"The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"  "I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.姑娘找到媒人,說:“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼,你以前為什么不告訴我?” “怎么沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱,“你們第一回見面后,我就說,他一眼就看中你了。”"

  10、"Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"兩個(gè)小男孩在他們的祖父母家過夜。睡覺時(shí)間到了,這兩個(gè)小男孩跪在床上祈禱。弟弟用非常大的聲音祈禱著,“我祈求有一輛新自行車……我祈求有一個(gè)新游戲機(jī)……我祈求有一個(gè)新錄像機(jī)……”他的哥哥用胳膊肘輕輕地碰了他一下,說:“你為什么這么大聲地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聾子。”弟弟聽了回答道:“上帝是不聾,可奶奶聾呀!”"

  11、"At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.在集市上,我和妻子買了一些五金用品,包括一個(gè)手鋸。我們返回汽車時(shí)剛好路過一家牛排店。 “我們嘗嘗吧,”我妻子建議說。盡管我覺得拿著鋸有點(diǎn)傻乎乎的,但還是隨她走了進(jìn)去。 我妻子掃視了一下菜單對(duì)女招待說:“請(qǐng)給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉(zhuǎn)向我,看了看我的鋸,說道:“我能看出,先生,你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”"

  12、"One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?""No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."一天,蒂姆的數(shù)學(xué)老師看了他的作業(yè),發(fā)現(xiàn)他全做對(duì)了。老師很高興,同時(shí)也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說:"蒂姆,你這次的作業(yè)全都做對(duì)了,怎么回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?""不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做。""

  13、"How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?怎么把口香糖取出來呢當(dāng)空中小姐給乘客們發(fā)口香糖的時(shí)候,她解釋說口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機(jī)著陸后,一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前,說道:“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來呢?

  有趣的英語句子帶翻譯(最新篇)

  1、"One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.  During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.一天下班回家,約翰發(fā)現(xiàn)妻子在搖半歲的女兒,嘴里反復(fù)念道:“爸-爸。”約翰心里感到美滋滋的,他的妻子選擇了“爸爸”這個(gè)詞首先教孩子。   幾周后的一天夜里,約翰和妻子被一陣哭聲驚醒了,“爸-爸!”“她在叫你,親愛的。”妻子說,然后翻身竟自睡了。"

  2、"Three Men in a BoatThree men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two."Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends."In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!""Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.三人同舟三位男子在公園的長椅上坐著。中間的一個(gè)在讀報(bào)紙,另外兩個(gè)在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌,放線,并卷線把魚抓上來。一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個(gè)景象,他問中間的那個(gè)男子是否認(rèn)識(shí)其他兩位。“喔,認(rèn)識(shí),”他說,“他們是我的朋友。”“那樣的話,”警察告誡說,“你最好把他們從這里弄走。”“好的,警官。”那男子回答說,接著就開始瘋狂般地做起劃槳的動(dòng)作來。"

  3、A poor man, presenting himself before the King of Spain,asked his charity, telling him that he was his brother. Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him, the poorfellow replied,“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz., Adam and Eve.” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money. The poor man beganto bemoan himself, saying,“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother?”“Away,away,”replies the king;“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done, you'll be richer than Iam.”一個(gè)窮漢去見西班牙國王,說自己是他的兄弟,求他施恩周濟(jì)。國王想知道他何以攀認(rèn)親戚,窮漢回答說,“我們有共同的祖先——亞當(dāng)和夏娃。”聽了這話,國王就給了他一個(gè)小銅子兒。于是窮人開始叫屈,說:“難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這么一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)錢嗎?”“走開,快走,”國王回答,“如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個(gè)銅板,你就比我還有錢了。”

  4、"When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."兩個(gè)男人正在穿過叢林,突然,一只老虎出現(xiàn)在遠(yuǎn)處,向他們沖來。當(dāng)中的一個(gè)人從包里拿出一雙“耐克”跑鞋,開始穿上。另一個(gè)人驚奇地看著他說,“你以為穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道:“我不用跑得過它,我只要跑得比你快就行了。”"

  5、"Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool(毒菌) ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.年少的童子軍:我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區(qū)別開呢?年長的童子軍:上床前吃一個(gè)。如果你第二天早上醒來,那就是蘑菇。"

  6、"A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."一份報(bào)紙組織了一場競賽,為下面的問題征集最佳答案:“如果盧浮宮起了火,而你只能救出一幅畫,你將救出哪一幅?”獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是:“最接近門口的那一幅。”"

  7、"Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "有一次,我收到一封感謝信,是一個(gè)我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票,都被刮過了,露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助,”信上寫道,“作為禮物,我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾,您沒中獎(jiǎng)。”"

  8、"After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.我的朋友們?cè)诜泵Φ募~瓦克機(jī)場著陸后,他們卻不能招呼到腳夫來幫他們搬行李。無奈,丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人群上面搖晃。一個(gè)帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生,”腳夫說道,“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”"

  9、""Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady, "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind.""You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins.""啊,可憐的人,"善良的老婦人驚嘆道。"腳瘸就夠慘的了,要是眼瞎就更糟了。""你說的一點(diǎn)兒沒錯(cuò),"那乞丐說。他顯然是乞討老手。"我眼瞎的時(shí)候,人們老是給我外幣。""

  10、"After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后,當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶終于攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來,將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”,我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說,“這種棺材終生保修。"

  11、"While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me pu有趣的英語句子帶翻譯led, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.在購買我的第一部CD唱機(jī)時(shí),我能夠解讀推銷標(biāo)記上面的大多數(shù)技術(shù)語言。但是有一個(gè)標(biāo)示卻讓我頗為迷惑,于是我叫過銷售商,問道:‘混合脈沖D/A變換器’是什么意思?它的意思是,她說,這個(gè)機(jī)器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數(shù)字信息,將它轉(zhuǎn)換成聲音信息-也就是說,轉(zhuǎn)換成音樂。換句話說,這個(gè)CD唱機(jī)能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。"

  12、"The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人,主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹,涂料) of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.一天,有人請(qǐng)這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久,酬金就出現(xiàn)了問題?;舻纤拱l(fā)現(xiàn),完成這幅畫后,他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當(dāng)作品完成之后,那位主顧被請(qǐng)來看畫。其實(shí),這幅畫不過是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。這是什么?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海,是那次著名的航海。這就是,霍迦斯回答說。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經(jīng)渡過去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們?nèi)佳退懒恕?quot;

  13、"The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.動(dòng)物園為剛引進(jìn)的袋鼠建了一個(gè)特殊的八英尺高的圍墻。但是第二天早上,人們發(fā)現(xiàn)這動(dòng)物在圍墻外面蹦跳著。于是圍墻高度增加到十五英尺,但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動(dòng)物園經(jīng)理甚感惱火,又叫人把圍墻高度加到三十英尺,但袋鼠還是逃了出來。一個(gè)長頸鹿問袋鼠:“你認(rèn)為他們會(huì)把圍墻建到多高?” “我不知道,”袋鼠說,“如果他們繼續(xù)開著大門,可能要修到一千英尺吧。”"

  14、"Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:″I have known many an instance(實(shí)例) of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″一個(gè)星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的幾封信。他打開其中一封,發(fā)現(xiàn)信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個(gè)字。他平靜而認(rèn)真地把這件事告訴教友們:“寫信時(shí)忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”"

  15、"The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."  The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'.""My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.   " The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"四位牧師的母親聚到一起談?wù)撍齻兊膬鹤印?ldquo;我的兒子是個(gè)教士,”第一位母親自豪地說道,“他進(jìn)入房間,人們都說,‘您好,閣下’。”第二為母親說:“我的兒子是位主教。他進(jìn)入房間,人們都稱,‘您好,大人’。” “我的兒子是位紅衣主教,”第三位母親接著說,“他走進(jìn)房間,人們都說,‘您好,尊敬的主教大人’。”第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十,體重三百磅,”她說,“他要是走入房間,人們都說‘哦,我的上帝’!”


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