TED英文演講：過錯并不能定義你的人生
在1991年時槍殺了一名男子,他說自己曾是“帶著半自動手槍的急性子毒販”。他被判兩級謀殺罪而入獄服刑，故事通常在此畫下句號。但相反的，故事仍未結束，這是多年贖罪旅程的開端，也是一個帶給我們謙恭與樸實課題的故事。下面是小編為大家收集關于TED英文演講：過錯并不能定義你的人生，歡迎借鑒參考。
演講者：Shaka Senghor
| 中英文演講稿 |
Twenty-three years ago, at the age of 19, I shot and killed a man. I was a young drug dealer with a quick temper and a semi-automatic pistol.
But that wasn't the end of my story. In fact, it was beginning, and the 23 years since is a story of acknowledgment, apology and atonement. But it didn't happen in the way that you might imagine or think. These things occurred in my life in a way that was surprising, especially to me.
See, like many of you, growing up, I was an honor roll student, a scholarship student, with dreams of becoming a doctor. But things went dramatically wrong when my parents separated and eventually divorced.
The actual events are pretty straightforward. At the age of 17, I got shot three times standing on the corner of my block in Detroit. My friend rushed me to the hospital. Doctors pulled the bullets out, patched me up, and sent me back to the same neighborhood where I got shot. Throughout this ordeal, no one hugged me, no one counseled me, no one told me I would be okay. No one told me that I would live in fear, that I would become paranoid, or that I would react hyper-violently to being shot. No one told me that one day, I would become the person behind the trigger. Fourteen months later, at 2 a.m., I fired the shots that caused a man's death.
When I entered prison, I was bitter, I was angry, I was hurt. I didn't want to take responsibility. I blamed everybody from my parents to the system. I rationalized my decision to shoot because in the hood where I come from, it's better to be the shooter than the person getting shot. As I sat in my cold cell, I felt helpless, unloved and abandoned. I felt like nobody cared, and I reacted with hostility to my confinement. And I found myself getting deeper and deeper into trouble. I ran black market stores, I loan sharked, and I sold drugs that were illegally smuggled into the prison. I had in fact become what the warden of the Michigan Reformatory called "the worst of the worst." And because of my activity, I landed in solitary confinement for seven and a half years out of my incarceration.
Now as I see it, solitary confinement is one of the most inhumane and barbaric places you can find yourself, but find myself I did. One day, I was pacing my cell, when an officer came and delivered mail. I looked at a couple of letters before I looked at the letter that had my son's squiggly handwriting on it. And anytime I would get a letter from my son, it was like a ray of light in the darkest place you can imagine. And on this particular day, I opened this letter, and in capital letters, he wrote, "My mama told me why you was in prison: murder." He said, "Dad, don't kill. Jesus watches what you do. Pray to Him."
Now, I wasn't religious at that time, nor am I religious now, but it was something so profound about my son's words. They made me examine things about my life that I hadn't considered. It was the first time in my life that I had actually thought about the fact that my son would see me as a murderer. I sat back on my bunk and I reflected on something I had read in [Plato], where Socrates stated in "Apology" that the unexamined life isn't worth living.
At that point is when the transformation began. But it didn't come easy. One of the things I realized, which was part of the transformation, was that there were four key things. The first thing was, I had great mentors. Now, I know some of you all are probably thinking, how did you find a great mentor in prison? But in my case, some of my mentors who are serving life sentences were some of the best people to ever come into my life, because they forced me to look at my life honestly, and they forced me to challenge myself about my decision making.
The second thing was literature. Prior to going to prison, I didn't know that there were so many brilliant black poets, authors and philosophers, and then I had the great fortune of encountering Malcolm X's autobiography, and it shattered every stereotype I had about myself.
The third thing was family. For 19 years, my father stood by my side with an unshakable faith, because he believed that I had what it took to turn my life around. I also met an amazing woman who is now the mother of my two-year-old son Sekou, and she taught me how to love myself in a healthy way.
The final thing was writing. When I got that letter from my son, I began to write a journal about things I had experienced in my childhood and in prison, and what it did is it opened up my mind to the idea of atonement. Earlier in my incarceration, I had received a letter from one of the relatives of my victim, and in that letter, she told me she forgave me, because she realized I was a young child who had been abused and had been through some hardships and just made a series of poor decisions. It was the first time in my life that I ever felt open to forgiving myself.
One of the things that happened after that experience is that I thought about the other men who were incarcerated alongside of me, and how much I wanted to share this with them. And so I started talking to them about some of their experiences, and I was devastated to realize that most of them came from the same abusive environments, And most of them wanted help and they wanted to turn it around, but unfortunately the system that currently holds 2.5 million people in prison is designed to warehouse as opposed to rehabilitate or transform. So I made it up in my mind that if I was ever released from prison that I would do everything in my power to help change that.
In 2010, I walked out of prison for the first time after two decades. Now imagine, if you will, Fred Flintstone walking into an episode of "The Jetsons." That was pretty much what my life was like. For the first time, I was exposed to the Internet, social media, cars that talk like KITT from "Knight Rider." But the thing that fascinated me the most was phone technology. See, when I went to prison, our car phones were this big and required two people to carry them. So imagine what it was like when I first grabbed my little Blackberry and I started learning how to text. But the thing is, the people around me, they didn't realize that I had no idea what all these abbreviated texts meant, like LOL, OMG, LMAO, until one day I was having a conversation with one of my friends via text, and I asked him to do something, and he responded back, "K." And I was like, "What is K?" And he was like, "K is okay." So in my head, I was like, "Well what the hell is wrong with K?" And so I text him a question mark. And he said, "K = okay." And so I tap back, "FU." (Laughter) And then he texts back, and he asks me why was I cussing him out. And I said, "LOL FU," as in, I finally understand.
And so fast forward three years, I'm doing relatively good. I have a fellowship at MIT Media Lab, I work for an amazing company called BMe, I teach at the University of Michigan, but it's been a struggle because I realize that there are more men and women coming home who are not going to be afforded those opportunities. I've been blessed to work with some amazing men and women, helping others reenter society, and one of them is my friend named Calvin Evans. He served 24 years for a crime he didn't commit. He's 45 years old. He's currently enrolled in college. And one of the things that we talked about is the three things that I found important in my personal transformation, the first being acknowledgment. I had to acknowledge that I had hurt others. I also had to acknowledge that I had been hurt. The second thing was apologizing. I had to apologize to the people I had hurt. Even though I had no expectations of them accepting it, it was important to do because it was the right thing. But I also had to apologize to myself. The third thing was atoning. For me, atoning meant going back into my community and working with at-risk youth who were on the same path, but also becoming at one with myself.
Through my experience of being locked up, one of the things I discovered is this: the majority of men and women who are incarcerated are redeemable, and the fact is, 90 percent of the men and women who are incarcerated will at some point return to the community, and we have a role in determining what kind of men and women return to our community.
My wish today is that we will embrace a more empathetic approach toward how we deal with mass incarceration, that we will do away with the lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key mentality, because it's proven it doesn't work.
My journey is a unique journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. Anybody can have a transformation if we create the space for that to happen. So what I'm asking today is that you envision a world where men and women aren't held hostage to their pasts, where misdeeds and mistakes don't define you for the rest of your life. I think collectively, we can create that reality, and I hope you do too.Thank you.
二十三年以前， 在我十九歲的時候， 我擊中并殺害了一個人。 我那時是年輕的販毒者， 脾氣暴躁， 有一只半自動的手槍。
但我的故事并未在此結束。 相反，它剛剛開始。 這接下來的23年 是一個關于承認，道歉，和補償?shù)墓适隆?是一個關于承認，道歉，和補償?shù)墓适隆?但這故事并沒有 以你可能正在想象或認為的的方式發(fā)生。 尤其是對我來說， 這些事情 在我生命中以一種令人驚訝的方式發(fā)生。
看，我像你們中的很多人一樣長大， 我是一個優(yōu)秀生， 一個有獎學金的學生， 有著成為一個醫(yī)生的夢想。 但是戲劇性的， 當我父母分家并最終離婚時 一切都變了。
具體的事件其實很簡單。 在我17歲的時候， 我被槍擊中了三次 就在底特律我所居住的那個街區(qū)。 我朋友趕忙把我送到醫(yī)院。 醫(yī)生們把子彈拔出來， 把傷口縫好， 又把我送回到了我被槍擊的街區(qū)。 在這次磨難中， 沒有人抱過我， 沒有人安慰我， 沒有人跟我說，一切都會好起來的。 沒有人告訴過我，我會一直活在恐懼中， 我會變成偏執(zhí)狂， 或者我對“被槍擊”的反應將會極端暴力。 或者我對“被槍擊”的反應將會極端暴力。 沒人告訴我， 有一天，我會變成扣動扳機的那個人。 十四個月之后， 在凌晨兩點， 我開了一槍， 并造成了一個人的死亡。
當我進監(jiān)獄時， 我很痛苦，我很憤怒，我很受傷。 我不想承擔這個責任。 我把自己的過失歸罪于所有人， 從我的父母，到社會制度。 我使自己開槍的動機合理化， 因為在我的成長陰影里， 做一個射擊者 總好過被別人開槍擊中。 當我坐在我冰冷的牢房里， 我感覺十分無助， 無人關愛，并被世界遺棄。 我覺得沒有人在乎我， 于是我?guī)е鴶骋?反抗對我的監(jiān)禁。 然后我就發(fā)現(xiàn)， 自己越來越深得陷入了麻煩。 我在監(jiān)獄里經(jīng)營黑市， 放高利貸， 出售非法偷運進監(jiān)獄的毒品。 出售非法偷運進監(jiān)獄的毒品。 事實上，我的確成為了 密歇根少年教養(yǎng)院院長口中的 “惡中之惡”。 因為我的這些惡行， 在我的刑期中有七年半， 我都被單獨禁閉起來。 我都被單獨禁閉起來。
如今當我回顧時， 單人監(jiān)禁是你所能找到的 是最無人道和最殘酷的地方之一 而我正置身其中。 一天，我正在牢房里踱步， 一個獄警進來派發(fā)郵件。 我先讀了一些信件， 然后我看到了那封來自兒子的信， 他手寫的字母還歪歪扭扭。 每當我收到我兒子寫的信， 那信就像一束光， 射進了你能想象到的最黑暗的地方。 在那天，我打開這封信， 兒子用大寫字母寫道： “媽媽告訴我， 你是因為謀殺而入獄的。” 他說：“爸爸，別殺人。 上帝能看到你的一舉一動。向他祈禱吧。“
我當時并不信教， 我現(xiàn)在也不信教， 但在我兒子的話中， 我看到了一些很深奧的東西。 這些東西使我審視我的生命， 思考那些我以前從未細思過的事情。 我第一次想到， 我兒子將會視我為一個殺人犯。 我兒子將會視我為一個殺人犯。 我坐回我的鋪位上， 《柏拉圖》中的片段在我腦中閃現(xiàn)。 《柏拉圖》中的片段在我腦中閃現(xiàn)。 在《申辯篇》中蘇格拉底說道， ”渾渾噩噩的生活不值得過。“
這一刻，是我生命轉(zhuǎn)變的開始。 但想轉(zhuǎn)變并非輕而易舉。 在轉(zhuǎn)變中， 我意識到 關鍵點有四個。 第一， 我有很好的導師。 我知道你們有些人可能在想， 你是怎么在監(jiān)獄里找到很好的導師呢? 但是在我的經(jīng)歷中， 我的一些導師 盡管處于終身監(jiān)禁 卻是我走進我生命中的最好的人。 因為他們迫使我去誠實地看待自己的經(jīng)歷， 也迫使我去挑戰(zhàn)我曾做過的決定。 也迫使我去挑戰(zhàn)我曾做過的決定。
第二件重要之物是文學。 在進監(jiān)獄之前， 我并不知道世界上有這么多優(yōu)秀的黑人詩人、作者和哲學家。 但之后我讀了Malcolm X的自傳， 這對我來說是寶貴的財富， 它動搖了我對自己所有的成見。 它動搖了我對自己所有的成見。
第三件重要之物是家庭。 19年來，我父親一直支持著我 因為他相信我有能力 把自己的生活轉(zhuǎn)入正軌。 把自己的生活轉(zhuǎn)入正軌。 我也遇到了一位令人贊嘆的女性， 她就是我兩歲兒子Sekou的母親。 她教會了我 如何用一種健康的方式愛自己。
最后一件重要之物是寫作。 當我收到我兒子的來信時， 我開始寫一本日記 記載我童年和在監(jiān)獄里的經(jīng)歷， 記載我童年和在監(jiān)獄里的經(jīng)歷， 以及這些經(jīng)歷是怎樣讓我 明白“補償”的概念。 在我被囚禁的早期， 我曾接到過一封來自受害人家屬的信。 信里， 她說她已經(jīng)原諒我了， 因為她意識到我只是個 幼時被虐待過的孩子， 還經(jīng)歷過許多苦難， 才會做出一系列錯誤的決定。 這是我此生第一次 覺得或許我也能夠原諒自己。
收到這封信之后， 收到這封信之后， 我想到在我身邊 其他被囚禁的人們， 我想把這種感悟分享給他們。 于是我就開始和他們聊天， 了解他們所經(jīng)歷過的事. 令我極為震驚的是， 他們中的大部分都曾和我一樣在幼時飽受虐待， 他們渴望得到幫助，渴望改正自己， 可不幸的是，現(xiàn)在的體系 像個倉庫，關押了250萬的囚犯， 像個倉庫，關押了250萬的囚犯， 卻沒有幫助他們改過自新、轉(zhuǎn)變觀念。 所以我暗下決心， 如果有一天我能被從監(jiān)獄里釋放 我會竭盡全力去改變這樣的現(xiàn)狀。 我會竭盡全力去改變這樣的現(xiàn)狀。
2010年，我在被關押了20多年后 第一次走出監(jiān)獄。 現(xiàn)在，如果你愿意，請想象一下， 一個遠古時代的人突然踏進了未來時空。 (原句：”卡通角色‘摩登原始人’走入了以未來世界為主題的動畫片'杰森一家'“) 我當時的感受大概如此。 我第一次接觸到互聯(lián)網(wǎng)， 社會媒體， 帶有語音的汽車，就像在科幻電影中一樣。 但最令我著迷的， 還是通信技術。 當我進監(jiān)獄時， 我們的電話有這么大， 必須有兩個人才能搬起來。 所以，想象一下我第一次拿起黑莓手機時的情景， 所以，想象一下我第一次拿起黑莓手機時的情景， 然后我開始學習如何發(fā)短信。 但問題是，我身邊的人， 他們并沒有意識到 我完全不了解各種短信縮寫的含義， 比如lol(大笑)，omg(天啊)，lmao(笑死了)。 直到有一天 我和朋友在互發(fā)短信。 我請他幫忙做一件事，他回復：”k“。 我說，”什么是k?“ 他說，”k沒事”(多意：k就是okay)。 我當時就想， “k難道會有事嗎?” 所以我給他回了一個問號。 于是他又說，“k=okay”。 我回復，“FU(去你x的)”。(笑聲) 他問，“你干嘛罵我?” 他問，“你干嘛罵我?” 我說，“lol(大笑)，F(xiàn)U (去你x的)”， 我這就會用縮寫了。 (笑聲)
這樣過去了三年， 我就過得不錯了。 我在MIT的媒體實驗室加入了一個項目， 我為令人驚嘆的BMe工作， 我在密歇根大學教書， 但我內(nèi)心又開始斗爭， 因為我意識到有更多的人 從監(jiān)獄出來， 沒有辦法接觸到這樣的機會。 我曾很幸運的和一些杰出的人 一起工作， 幫助其他被釋放的人重新進入社會。 其中一個，我的朋友，Calvin Evans。 他被判冤獄，坐了24年牢。 他45歲了，現(xiàn)在正在上大學。 現(xiàn)在，像我們在開頭說過， 那三樣我覺得在自己轉(zhuǎn)變中 最為重要的事， 第一就是承認。 我必須承認，我曾經(jīng)傷害過他人。 我也必須承認，我曾被傷害過。 第二件是道歉。 我必須向被我傷害過的人們道歉。 盡管我并不期望他們會接受我的道歉， 道歉仍然很重要，因為道歉是正確的事。 可我也必須要向自己道歉。 第三件事是補償。 對我而言，補償意味著 回到我生長的社區(qū)中， 幫助那些正跟我以前走著同樣道路 有風險的兒童。 同時我也成為他們其中的一員。
經(jīng)過我的監(jiān)獄生涯， 我發(fā)現(xiàn)大部分被監(jiān)禁的人， 我發(fā)現(xiàn)大部分被監(jiān)禁的人， 都并非無可救藥。 事實上， 90%被監(jiān)禁的人 在某一時刻都會回歸到社會中。 而我們能影響著 他們回歸社會后會變成怎樣的人。
我今天的希望 是我們能以一種 更有同情心的態(tài)度 討論我們該如何對待被關押人員， 我們會放棄 那種把他們鎖起來然后扔掉鑰匙的態(tài)度， 因為這種態(tài)度已被證明毫無用處。
我的經(jīng)歷是獨特的， 但它本可以有其他的變化。 每個人都可以改變， 只要我們給他們足夠的空間。 所以今天我所請求的， 是你們對未來的預想， 想象有一個世界， 所有人對自己的過去都沒有敵意， 我們犯的錯誤和罪行 都不能定義我們余下的一生。 我想，我們可以一起創(chuàng)造這個未來， 并且我希望，你也是這么想的。謝謝。
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