桑德伯格精彩演講
桑德伯格精彩演講
雪莉·桑德伯格，猶太人，美國(guó)計(jì)算機(jī)領(lǐng)域精英女性企業(yè)家，現(xiàn)任Facebook首席運(yùn)營(yíng)官和首位女性董事會(huì)成員，負(fù)責(zé)Facebook的銷(xiāo)售、營(yíng)銷(xiāo)、收購(gòu)、合作、人士、公共政策和聯(lián)絡(luò)事宜。今天學(xué)習(xí)啦小編給大家分享一篇桑德伯格的精彩演講，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助。
桑德伯格精彩演講
今天在座的各位， 我們先承認(rèn)我們是幸運(yùn)的。 我們沒(méi)有生活在 我們母親和我們祖母生活過(guò)的那個(gè)世界， 在那時(shí)女性的職業(yè)選擇是非常有限的。 今天在座的各位， 大多數(shù)人成長(zhǎng)于一個(gè) 女性有基本公民權(quán)的世界。 令人驚訝地是，我們還生活在一個(gè) 有些女性還沒(méi)有這些權(quán)利的世界。 但除上所述，我們還有一個(gè)問(wèn)題， 它是一個(gè)實(shí)際問(wèn)題。 這問(wèn)題是： 在世界各地，女性沒(méi)達(dá)到 任何職業(yè) 的高管職位。 這些數(shù)據(jù)很清楚地告訴我們這實(shí)情。 190個(gè)國(guó)家元首里， 九位是女性領(lǐng)導(dǎo)。 在世界上議會(huì)的總?cè)藬?shù)中， 13%是女性議員。 在公司部門(mén)， 女性占據(jù)高位， C級(jí)職位，董事會(huì)席位 高管職位比例占15%，16%。 自從2002年起這數(shù)據(jù)沒(méi)變化過(guò) 有下降趨勢(shì)。 即使在非營(yíng)利的行業(yè)， 我們有時(shí)認(rèn)為這一行業(yè) 是被更多女性所領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的， 女性領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人占20%。
我們還面臨著另一個(gè)問(wèn)題， 就是女性 在職業(yè)成功和個(gè)人價(jià)值實(shí)現(xiàn)中所面臨的艱難選擇。 美國(guó)最近一個(gè)研究 表明，已婚高管人員， 三分之二的已婚男性高管人員有孩子 只有三分之一的已婚女性高管人員有孩子。 幾年前，我在紐約， 出席一個(gè)協(xié)議， 在那種別致的紐約私募投資辦事處中的一個(gè) 你能想象到的。 我在這個(gè)大約有3小時(shí)的會(huì)議上， 過(guò)了2小時(shí)，有個(gè)間歇休息， 所有人都站起來(lái)， 這會(huì)議組織者 開(kāi)始顯得的確很尷尬。 我意識(shí)到他不知道 在他辦公室哪里是女洗手間。 所以我開(kāi)始尋找移動(dòng)廁所， 盤(pán)算他們剛搬進(jìn)來(lái)，但我沒(méi)有看到任何移動(dòng)廁所。 然后我說(shuō)，“你是剛搬到這辦公室嗎?” 他說(shuō)，“不是，我們?cè)谶@兒已經(jīng)有一年了。” 我說(shuō)，“你能否告訴我 這一年來(lái)， 我是唯一一個(gè)來(lái)這間辦公室的女性嗎?” 他看著我，說(shuō)到， “是的?；蛘哒f(shuō)你可能是唯一一個(gè)要上女性洗手間。”
(笑聲)
所以問(wèn)題是， 我們?cè)撛鯓咏鉀Q這樣的尷尬? 我們?cè)鯓痈淖冞@些高管職位的比例? 我們?cè)鯓邮惯@個(gè)變得不同? 我首先想說(shuō)， 我談這個(gè) 女性就職 因?yàn)槲业拇_認(rèn)為我們得找到答案。 在我們勞動(dòng)力的高收入的部分， 在高管的人員中 財(cái)富500強(qiáng)首席執(zhí)行長(zhǎng)官中， 或在其它類(lèi)似的高管行業(yè)中， 我確信，問(wèn)題 是女性被排除在外。 當(dāng)下人們對(duì)此談了很多， 他們談到像彈性時(shí)間和指導(dǎo) 和公司應(yīng)該培訓(xùn)婦女的計(jì)劃的事。 今天我不想談這些 盡管所有這些事都非常重要。 今天我想關(guān)注作為個(gè)人我們所能做到的事。 我們要告訴給自己的事是什么? 我們告訴給女同事和打工的女性的事是什么? 我們要告訴給我們女兒的事是什么?
現(xiàn)在首先，我想澄清 這個(gè)演講不帶有任何評(píng)判。 我也沒(méi)有正確的答案; 甚至就我而言，我也沒(méi)有完全的答案。 在周一，我離開(kāi)我生活的加利福尼亞， 我坐上飛機(jī)趕赴這會(huì)議。 當(dāng)我送我三歲的女兒到幼兒園時(shí)， 她緊緊抱進(jìn)我的腿， 哭喊著，“媽咪，不要上飛機(jī)”之類(lèi)的話。 這很難受。有時(shí)我感到內(nèi)疚。 我知道 無(wú)論是家庭主婦，還是職業(yè)女性， 有時(shí)她們都會(huì)感同身受。 所以我不會(huì)說(shuō)對(duì)所有人來(lái)說(shuō)，呆在職場(chǎng) 是件正確的事。
今天我的演講是要講 如果你真正想呆在職場(chǎng)。 我想有3條建議。 一，坐在桌旁。 二，讓你的伴侶成為一個(gè)真正的合作伙伴。 三，在你離開(kāi)前別放棄。 第一，坐在桌旁。 僅僅幾周前在臉譜， 我們主持一個(gè)非常高級(jí)行政官員會(huì)議， 他(馬克·扎克伯格)與來(lái)自硅谷周?chē)母呒?jí)行政官員 一一見(jiàn)面。 每個(gè)人都坐在桌邊。 然后攜同他的2個(gè)女性 在他部門(mén)中她們也占非常高的職位。 我對(duì)她們說(shuō)，“坐在桌邊。來(lái)吧，坐在桌邊。” 她們坐在了屋子的一邊。 我在大四時(shí)， 我選修一節(jié)歐洲思想史的課程。 你們喜愛(ài)大學(xué)的這類(lèi)課程嘛。 我希望我現(xiàn)在能做到。 我和我室友卡麗一起學(xué)習(xí)， 她那時(shí)是一個(gè)才華橫溢的文學(xué)學(xué)生 成為了一個(gè)杰出的文學(xué)家 我的弟弟 一個(gè)聰明的小伙子，但他愛(ài)打水球，他上醫(yī)學(xué)預(yù)科 大二。
我們?nèi)艘黄疬x修這課。 然后卡麗讀了 所有希臘文和拉丁文的原版書(shū)籍-- 去了所有的課-- 我讀了所有英語(yǔ)的書(shū) 上了大多數(shù)的課。 我弟弟有點(diǎn)忙; 他讀了12本書(shū)中的一本 去上了幾節(jié)課， 在考試前幾天他來(lái)到我們房間 自己輔導(dǎo)了一下。 我們?nèi)齻€(gè)一起去考試了，我們坐下來(lái)。 我們考了有3個(gè)小時(shí) 我們的小藍(lán)筆記本，是的。 我們走出來(lái)，對(duì)視對(duì)方，我們說(shuō)，“你考得怎樣?” 卡麗說(shuō)，“伙計(jì)，我感到我真沒(méi)有答對(duì) 有關(guān)黑格爾辯證法的主要命題。” 我說(shuō)，“上帝啊，我真希望我考試時(shí)能想到 學(xué)習(xí)過(guò)的洛克的產(chǎn)權(quán)理論等哲學(xué)家。” 我弟弟卻說(shuō)， “我會(huì)是班里考得最好的。” “你會(huì)是班里考得最好的? 你啥都不知道。”
這種故事的問(wèn)題 出在數(shù)據(jù)所表明的事實(shí)： 女性被系統(tǒng)化地低估了她們自身的能力。 如果你測(cè)試男性和女性， 你問(wèn)他們問(wèn)題，按完全客觀的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)平均成績(jī)來(lái)算， 男性會(huì)錯(cuò)誤的高估一些， 女性則會(huì)錯(cuò)誤地低估一些。 女性在職場(chǎng)不會(huì)為自身利益去談判。 在過(guò)去兩年， 關(guān)于人們從學(xué)校進(jìn)入職場(chǎng)的一個(gè)調(diào)查 表明57%的男生 或男性進(jìn)入職場(chǎng)，我猜 會(huì)協(xié)商他們的第一份薪水， 只有7%的女性會(huì)去協(xié)商。 更重要的是， 男性把他們的成功歸功于他們自身， 而女性則歸功于其他外部因素。 如果你問(wèn)男性為什么他們能把工作做好， 他們會(huì)說(shuō)，“我棒極了。 這是顯而易見(jiàn)的。這還用問(wèn)嗎?” 如果你問(wèn)女性是什么使她們?cè)诠ぷ髦谐錾?她們會(huì)說(shuō)有人幫助她們， 她們很幸運(yùn)，她們工作異常努力。 這個(gè)問(wèn)題很重要嗎? 大家，這關(guān)系很大 因?yàn)闆](méi)人得到角落辦公室的職位 要是只坐在旁邊，而不是桌邊。 沒(méi)人得到提升 如果他們認(rèn)為他們不應(yīng)享有這成功， 或者他們甚至不明白他們自己的成功。
我但愿這答案是容易的。 我希望我盡可能告訴我所共事過(guò)的所有年輕女性， 所有這些非常棒的女性， “相信你們自己，為自身利益要討價(jià)還價(jià)。 把握住你的成功。” 我希望我也能告訴我的女兒。 但這不是很簡(jiǎn)單。 因?yàn)槭紫仁菙?shù)據(jù)表明的是一件事 它表明成功和人緣親切性 對(duì)于男性來(lái)說(shuō)是積極影響的 而對(duì)于女性來(lái)說(shuō)是負(fù)面影響的。 每個(gè)人都點(diǎn)頭， 因?yàn)槲覀兇蠹叶贾肋@是真的。
一個(gè)非常棒的研究也很好地表明了這一觀點(diǎn)。 哈佛商學(xué)院的一個(gè)著名研究 是有關(guān)于一位叫海蒂·羅森的女性。 她是硅谷一家公司的 負(fù)責(zé)人， 她使用她的關(guān)系 成為一名非常成功的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)資本家。 在2002年，不久前 當(dāng)時(shí)在哥倫比亞大學(xué)的一位教授 做這個(gè)例子和把它改成霍華德·羅森。 他把這個(gè)案例，他們兩人 向兩組學(xué)生展示。 他只改變了一個(gè)詞： 海蒂到霍華德。 但這個(gè)詞就造成了非常大的差異。 然后他調(diào)查學(xué)生。 好消息是學(xué)生們，男生和女生 認(rèn)為海蒂和霍華德都是能力相當(dāng)?shù)模?這很好。 但壞消息是每個(gè)人都喜歡霍華德。 他是個(gè)了不起的人，大家都想和他共事， 大家都想和他去釣魚(yú)。 但海蒂呢?不好說(shuō)。 她有點(diǎn)只為自己著想，對(duì)政治有點(diǎn)熱衷。 大家不太想和她共事。 這是復(fù)雜的。 我們得告訴我們的女兒和我們的同事， 我們得告訴我們自己相信我們能獲得A， 得到提升， 坐在桌邊。 我們?cè)谶@世上得做到這點(diǎn) 在世上，女性要爭(zhēng)取這些就得做出犧牲， 盡管她們的兄弟不用為此而付出犧牲。
所有關(guān)于這的最可悲的事是很難記住這個(gè)。 我將講個(gè)對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)是個(gè)真正尷尬的故事， 但我認(rèn)為它很重要。 在臉譜不久前我給 大約100名員工做這個(gè)演講。 幾小時(shí)后，在臉譜工作的一個(gè)年輕女性 坐到我小桌子旁邊， 她想和我談?wù)劇?我說(shuō)，好，她坐了下來(lái)，我們談了起來(lái)。 她說(shuō)，“我今天學(xué)了一些東西。 我知道我需要舉起我的手。” 我說(shuō)，“你指什么啊?” 她說(shuō)，“你在講這個(gè)話時(shí)， 你說(shuō)你將會(huì)回答2個(gè)以上問(wèn)題。 我和其他一些人舉起手，你回答了2個(gè)以上問(wèn)題。 我把手放下來(lái)，我注意到所有女性都把手放下來(lái)， 然后你又回答了很多問(wèn)題， 僅有男性參與。” 我自己想了一下， 如果換成是我，誰(shuí)會(huì)在乎這個(gè)，明顯地 做這次演講， 在這演講中，我甚至沒(méi)注意到 男人們的手是不是還一直舉著， 女人們的手是不是還一直舉著， 我們到底有多出色， 當(dāng)我們作為公司和組織的經(jīng)理人的時(shí)候， 以及當(dāng)我們作為少數(shù)，與男性競(jìng)爭(zhēng) 爭(zhēng)取機(jī)會(huì)的時(shí)候? 我們得讓女性坐到桌子邊上。
(掌聲)
第二條： 讓你的伴侶成為一個(gè)真正的合作伙伴。 我已經(jīng)確信我們?cè)诼殘?chǎng) 比起我們?cè)诩彝ブ衅鹆烁蟮淖饔谩?數(shù)據(jù)也很清楚地表明這點(diǎn)。 如果一個(gè)女性和一個(gè)男性同時(shí)全職 并有一個(gè)小孩， 女性比起男性要做兩倍多家務(wù)活兒， 女性比起男性做了三倍多 照顧嬰兒的事。 所以她有了2份，3份工作， 而他只有一份。 當(dāng)有人必須在家多干活時(shí)，誰(shuí)應(yīng)該留下來(lái)? 這個(gè)的理由實(shí)在太復(fù)雜， 我沒(méi)有時(shí)間來(lái)講它們。 但我也不認(rèn)為周日看美式足球 和日常的懶惰是理由。
我認(rèn)為理由是更加復(fù)雜化的。 我認(rèn)為，作為一個(gè)社會(huì)， 我們總是更希望男孩子們成功， 對(duì)女孩子則壓力小些。 我知道有居家男人 呆在家里做內(nèi)務(wù)支持職場(chǎng)妻子 這很難。 當(dāng)我去“媽咪和我”的培訓(xùn)課時(shí)， 我看到那里的父親， 我留意到其他媽咪 不愿和他相處。 這是個(gè)問(wèn)題， 因?yàn)槲覀兊冒褍?nèi)務(wù)變成一個(gè)重要的工作 因?yàn)樗鞘澜缟献铍y的工作-居家工作 無(wú)論男人女人， 我們只有平分了這些事，女性才可能留在職場(chǎng)。 (掌聲) 研究表明夫妻收入相等、 且夫妻分擔(dān)責(zé)任相當(dāng)?shù)募彝?也有50%的離婚率。 如果這數(shù)據(jù)并不那么鼓舞人， 還有更多的 在這個(gè)講臺(tái)我該怎么講呢? 夫妻雙方對(duì)于彼此的了解，不僅是做愛(ài)這么簡(jiǎn)單。
(歡呼)
建議三： 在你離開(kāi)前別放棄。 我認(rèn)為這是一個(gè)非常深刻的諷刺 對(duì)于女性所采取行動(dòng)而言-- 我一直目睹類(lèi)似情況的發(fā)生-- 女性希望留在職場(chǎng)這個(gè)目標(biāo)， 往往導(dǎo)致它們最終不得不離開(kāi)職場(chǎng)。 曾發(fā)生這樣的事： 我們都忙;每個(gè)人都很忙;作為一個(gè)女人也很忙。 她開(kāi)始考慮生小孩。 從她開(kāi)始考慮生小孩的時(shí)候起， 她開(kāi)始考慮為孩子準(zhǔn)備房間。 “我該如何調(diào)整孩子這件事和手頭上的其他事呢?” 言下之意， 她不再舉起她的手， 她不尋求提升，她不找新的計(jì)劃， 她不會(huì)說(shuō)，“我，我想做那個(gè)。” 她開(kāi)始退縮。 這是個(gè)問(wèn)題 讓我們說(shuō)說(shuō)她懷孕的那段日子 9個(gè)月的懷胎，3個(gè)月的產(chǎn)假， 6個(gè)月來(lái)調(diào)養(yǎng)休息 快速調(diào)整要2年， 更多的，正如我看到的 女性開(kāi)始過(guò)早考慮這事 當(dāng)她們有約會(huì)或者結(jié)婚時(shí)， 當(dāng)她們開(kāi)始考慮要小孩，這會(huì)花相當(dāng)長(zhǎng)的一段時(shí)間。 一位女性關(guān)于此事來(lái)找我， 我看著她，她顯得有點(diǎn)年輕。 我說(shuō)，“那么你和你丈夫考慮要小孩了?” 她說(shuō)，“哦不，我還沒(méi)結(jié)婚。” 她甚至沒(méi)有男友。 我說(shuō)，“你考慮這個(gè) 太早了吧。”
但關(guān)鍵是 一旦你開(kāi)始退縮下來(lái)，接下來(lái)會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢? 每個(gè)人都會(huì)經(jīng)歷這個(gè) 在這兒我告訴你，一旦在家你有了孩子， 你真的最好是回到你的工作中去， 因?yàn)榘研『⒘粼诩姨y了， 你的工作得有挑戰(zhàn)性。 它也得有回報(bào)。 你得感覺(jué)到世界因你而變。 如果2年前你沒(méi)有得到提升 在你旁邊的一個(gè)男孩得到提升， 如果三年前 你放棄尋找新的機(jī)會(huì)， 你會(huì)變得很乏味 因?yàn)槟銘?yīng)該緊踩油門(mén)，加油。 在你離開(kāi)前別放棄。 保住工作。 緊踩油門(mén)， 除非到了那一天你需要離開(kāi) 為了孩子休假 然后做出你自己的決定。 不要提前做太長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)決定， 特別是你甚至不曉得自己該做怎樣的決定。
我這一代的女性非?？上В?沒(méi)能改變高管職位的數(shù)據(jù)變化。 女人們就是呆在原地。 我們沒(méi)能達(dá)到50%的高管職位 在任何行業(yè)的高管職位中， 女性都未達(dá)到50%。 但我希望未來(lái)一代人可以做到。 我認(rèn)為我們世界上 半數(shù)國(guó)家和半數(shù)公司 會(huì)由女性所領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，那將會(huì)是一個(gè)更美好的世界。 這不僅僅是因?yàn)槿藗儠?huì)知道女性洗手間在哪兒， 盡管這也有非常大的幫助。 我認(rèn)為它將會(huì)是一個(gè)更美好的世界。 我有2個(gè)孩子。 我5歲的兒子和3歲的女兒。 我想我兒子會(huì)選擇 在職場(chǎng)或在家里都盡心盡責(zé)，全心奉獻(xiàn)。 我女兒的選擇 不僅僅是成功， 她會(huì)更熱愛(ài)她所做出的成就。
謝謝。
(掌聲)
下面給大家分享上段演講的英文版：
So for any of us in this room today, let's start out by admitting we're lucky. We don't live in the world our mothers lived in, our grandmothers lived in, where career choices for women were so limited. And if you're in this room today, most of us grew up in a world where we had basic civil rights, and amazingly, we still live in a world where some women don't have them. But all that aside, we still have a problem, and it's a real problem. And the problem is this: Women are not making it to the top of any profession anywhere in the world. The numbers tell the story quite clearly. 190 heads of state -- nine are women. Of all the people in parliament in the world, 13 percent are women. In the corporate sector, women at the top, C-level jobs, board seats -- tops out at 15, 16 percent. The numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction. And even in the non-profit world, a world we sometimes think of as being led by more women, women at the top: 20 percent.
We also have another problem, which is that women face harder choices between professional success and personal fulfillment. A recent study in the U.S. showed that, of married senior managers, two-thirds of the married men had children and only one-third of the married women had children. A couple of years ago, I was in New York, and I was pitching a deal, and I was in one of those fancy New York private equity offices you can picture. And I'm in the meeting -- it's about a three-hour meeting -- and two hours in, there kind of needs to be that bio break, and everyone stands up, and the partner running the meeting starts looking really embarrassed. And I realized he doesn't know where the women's room is in his office. So I start looking around for moving boxes, figuring they just moved in, but I don't see any. And so I said, "Did you just move into this office?" And he said, "No, we've been here about a year." And I said, "Are you telling me that I am the only woman to have pitched a deal in this office in a year?" And he looked at me, and he said, "Yeah. Or maybe you're the only one who had to go to the bathroom."
(Laughter)
So the question is, how are we going to fix this? How do we change these numbers at the top? How do we make this different? I want to start out by saying, I talk about this -- about keeping women in the workforce -- because I really think that's the answer. In the high-income part of our workforce, in the people who end up at the top -- Fortune 500 CEO jobs, or the equivalent in other industries -- the problem, I am convinced, is that women are dropping out. Now people talk about this a lot, and they talk about things like flextime and mentoring and programs companies should have to train women. I want to talk about none of that today, even though that's all really important. Today I want to focus on what we can do as inpiduals. What are the messages we need to tell ourselves? What are the messages we tell the women who work with and for us? What are the messages we tell our daughters?
Now, at the outset, I want to be very clear that this speech comes with no judgments. I don't have the right answer. I don't even have it for myself. I left San Francisco, where I live, on Monday, and I was getting on the plane for this conference. And my daughter, who's three, when I dropped her off at preschool, did that whole hugging-the-leg, crying, "Mommy, don't get on the plane" thing. This is hard. I feel guilty sometimes. I know no women, whether they're at home or whether they're in the workforce, who don't feel that sometimes. So I'm not saying that staying in the workforce is the right thing for everyone.
My talk today is about what the messages are if you do want to stay in the workforce, and I think there are three. One, sit at the table. Two, make your partner a real partner. And three, don't leave before you leave. Number one: sit at the table. Just a couple weeks ago at Facebook, we hosted a very senior government official, and he came in to meet with senior execs from around Silicon Valley. And everyone kind of sat at the table. And then he had these two women who were traveling with him who were pretty senior in his department, and I kind of said to them, "Sit at the table. Come on, sit at the table," and they sat on the side of the room. When I was in college my senior year, I took a course called European Intellectual History. Don't you love that kind of thing from college? I wish I could do that now. And I took it with my roommate, Carrie, who was then a brilliant literary student -- and went on to be a brilliant literary scholar -- and my brother -- smart guy, but a water-polo-playing pre-med, who was a sophomore.
The three of us take this class together. And then Carrie reads all the books in the original Greek and Latin, goes to all the lectures. I read all the books in English and go to most of the lectures. My brother is kind of busy. He reads one book of 12 and goes to a couple of lectures, marches himself up to our room a couple days before the exam to get himself tutored. The three of us go to the exam together, and we sit down. And we sit there for three hours -- and our little blue notebooks -- yes, I'm that old. And we walk out, and we look at each other, and we say, "How did you do?" And Carrie says, "Boy, I feel like I didn't really draw out the main point on the Hegelian dialectic." And I say, "God, I really wish I had really connected John Locke's theory of property with the philosophers who follow." And my brother says, "I got the top grade in the class." "You got the top grade in the class? You don't know anything."
The problem with these stories is that they show what the data shows: women systematically underestimate their own abilities. If you test men and women, and you ask them questions on totally objective criteria like GPAs, men get it wrong slightly high, and women get it wrong slightly low. Women do not negotiate for themselves in the workforce. A study in the last two years of people entering the workforce out of college showed that 57 percent of boys entering, or men, I guess, are negotiating their first salary, and only seven percent of women. And most importantly, men attribute their success to themselves, and women attribute it to other external factors. If you ask men why they did a good job, they'll say, "I'm awesome. Obviously. Why are you even asking?" If you ask women why they did a good job, what they'll say is someone helped them, they got lucky, they worked really hard. Why does this matter? Boy, it matters a lot because no one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side, not at the table, and no one gets the promotion if they don't think they deserve their success, or they don't even understand their own success.
I wish the answer were easy. I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work for, all these fabulous women, "Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success." I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it's not that simple. Because what the data shows, above all else, is one thing, which is that success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. And everyone's nodding, because we all know this to be true.
There's a really good study that shows this really well. There's a famous Harvard Business School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen. And she's an operator in a company in Silicon Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful venture capitalist. In 2002 -- not so long ago -- a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case and made it Howard Roizen. And he gave the case out, both of them, to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: "Heidi" to "Howard." But that one word made a really big difference. He then surveyed the students, and the good news was the students, both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent, and that's good. The bad news was that everyone liked Howard. He's a great guy. You want to work for him. You want to spend the day fishing with him. But Heidi? Not so sure. She's a little out for herself. She's a little political. You're not sure you'd want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion, to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even though for their brothers, there are not.
The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard to remember this. And I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about 100 employees, and a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there sitting outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me. I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked. And she said, "I learned something today. I learned that I need to keep my hand up." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, you're giving this talk, and you said you were going to take two more questions. And I had my hand up with lots of other people, and you took two more questions. And I put my hand down, and I noticed all the women put their hand down, and then you took more questions, only from the men." And I thought to myself, wow, if it's me -- who cares about this, obviously -- giving this talk -- and during this talk, I can't even notice that the men's hands are still raised, and the women's hands are still raised, how good are we as managers of our companies and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women? We've got to get women to sit at the table.
(Applause)
Message number two: make your partner a real partner. I've become convinced that we've made more progress in the workforce than we have in the home. The data shows this very clearly. If a woman and a man work full-time and have a child, the woman does twice the amount of housework the man does, and the woman does three times the amount of childcare the man does. So she's got three jobs or two jobs, and he's got one. Who do you think drops out when someone needs to be home more? The causes of this are really complicated, and I don't have time to go into them. And I don't think Sunday football-watching and general laziness is the cause.
I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society, we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls. I know men that stay home and work in the home to support wives with careers, and it's hard. When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff and I see the father there, I notice that the other mommies don't play with him. And that's a problem, because we have to make it as important a job, because it's the hardest job in the world to work inside the home, for people of both genders, if we're going to even things out and let women stay in the workforce. (Applause) Studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the porce rate. And if that wasn't good enough motivation for everyone out there, they also have more -- how shall I say this on this stage? -- they know each other more in the biblical sense as well.
(Cheers)
Message number three: don't leave before you leave. I think there's a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking -- and I see this all the time -- with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here's what happens: We're all busy. Everyone's busy. A woman's busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. "How am I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?" And literally from that moment, she doesn't raise her hand anymore, she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new project, she doesn't say, "Me. I want to do that." She starts leaning back. The problem is that -- let's say she got pregnant that day, that day -- nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath -- fast-forward two years, more often -- and as I've seen it -- women start thinking about this way earlier -- when they get engaged, when they get married, when they start thinking about trying to have a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this, and I kind of looked at her -- she looked a little young. And I said, "So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?" And she said, "Oh no, I'm not married." She didn't even have a boyfriend. I said, "You're thinking about this just way too early."
But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who's been through this -- and I'm here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it's hard to leave that kid at home -- your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like you're making a difference. And if two years ago you didn't take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities, you're going to be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Don't leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child -- and then make your decisions. Don't make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making.
My generation really, sadly, is not going to change the numbers at the top. They're just not moving. We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population -- in my generation, there will not be 50 percent of [women] at the top of any industry. But I'm hopeful that future generations can. I think a world that was run where half of our countries and half of our companies were run by women, would be a better world. And it's not just because people would know where the women's bathrooms are, even though that would be very helpful. I think it would be a better world. I have two children. I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully in the workforce or at home, and I want my daughter to have the choice to not just succeed, but to be liked for her accomplishments.
Thank you.
(Applause)
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