專四寫作優(yōu)秀作文賞析及亮點解析
專四寫作優(yōu)秀作文賞析及亮點解析
下面是學習啦小編整理的專四寫作優(yōu)秀作文賞析及亮點解析，以供大家學習參考。
題目1：On Dormitory Security
寫作要求
Dormitories on campus were reported to be broken into and burglaries happened regularly.
What should both students and universities do to reduce this kind of crime?
Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
On Dormitory Security
You are to write in three parts.
In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your opinion is.
In the second part, provide one or two reasons to support your idea OR describe your idea.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriatenes. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
審題思路
本題是一道問題解決/建議型的題目，一般建議型題目的寫法是復(fù)述題干內(nèi)容 ，直截了當提出自己的建議, 然后擺事實講道理說明該建議有什么好處 ，最后把文章引入一個自然的總結(jié)段中即可。但是根據(jù)這個題目的題干，重點不是用理由來支持某個建議，而是詳述該建議是什么，即分小點說明學校和學生應(yīng)該分別做些什么。
范文賞析
On Dormitory Security
It is reported that recently in quite a few universities, dormitories on campus have been broken into and burglaries have happened every now and then. In fact, students have complained a lot that burglaries are like nightmares in their college years. I think it’s high time that both students and universities did something to reduce and eliminate this kind of crime.
引言部分：作者先說明有報道說最近寢室遭竊的現(xiàn)象很多，困擾著學生們，然后提出學生和學校都應(yīng)采取措施。
On the one hand, there are some measures which universities can take. First, universities should have all the dormitory doors and windows checked, find out and repair the broken ones so that thieves cannot go in easily. Second, the number of university security staff should be increased. Security personnel should patrol on campus and cross-question any suspicious person.
On the other hand, students should also do something to protect their belongings. First, when they leave their dormitories, they should keep doors and windows locked to keep out sneak10 thieves.Second, students should lock their valuables11 up in lockers12. In this way, they can reduce the risks of burglaries happening.
主體部分：作者分兩方面來說，并在每方面下面又分了幾個小點，這樣一則可以豐富內(nèi)容，二則使整篇文章邏輯清晰，銜接緊湊，成為一個完整的整體。
In one word, both students and universities should do something to reduce burglaries in dormitories. And only in a safe dormitory can a student live and study happily.
總結(jié)部分：作者用in one word自然而然地對上文進行了總結(jié)，并進一步說明只有寢室安全才能讓學生生活和學習得更開心。
亮點回放
1. be broken into: “被闖入”，常用于指房子有竊賊闖入。
2. every now and then: “時而，不時” ;近義詞有every now and again ，every so often, more often than not等 。
3. nightmare: “噩夢，使人特別痛苦的事情或經(jīng)歷”。
4. it s high time that: “該做某事的時候到了” ;如果在time前面有high ，the very等詞 ，那么從句中要使用過去時。
5.eliminate: “除去，消除” ;這里還可以使用get rid of，root out ，wipe out ，weed out等來表示 同一意思。
6. personnel: “職員” ;作名詞 ，注意personnel和personal(個人的)的區(qū)別。
7. patrol: “巡邏 ，巡查”。
8. cross-question: “盤問，審問” ;該詞 的使用體現(xiàn)了作者詞匯量的豐富和用詞的精到。
9. suspicious: “可疑的，多疑的” ;也可以使用doubtable和questionable來代替 。
10. sneak : 常用作動詞，表示 “偷偷摸摸做/走”，此處用作形容詞，表示“出其不意的，暗中進行的”。
11. valuables: valuable常用作形容詞 ，表示 “貴重的” ;當用作名詞且為復(fù)數(shù)時 ，表示 “貴重物品”。
12. locker: “更衣箱，儲物柜” ;該詞用得非常到位 。
題目2：Academic Dishonesty on Campus
寫作要求
Recent surveys show that a lot of college students download papers from the Internet to save the trouble of doing the assignments. This kind of academic dishonesty does harm to the students.
You are required to analyze its harmful effects and suggest some ways to prevent it.
Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
Academic Dishonesty on Campus
You are to write in three parts.
In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your opinion is.
In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion with appropriate details.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
審題思路
本題是一道現(xiàn)象解釋說明/結(jié)果預(yù)測型的題目，要求分析學術(shù)欺騙行為可能會有什么樣的惡果，并提出預(yù)防措施 ?？梢詮囊韵聨追矫孢M行分析 ：
關(guān)于結(jié)果方面：⑴ 對個人能力 、誠信等方面不利 ;⑵ 對他人不公平，造成惡劣影響 ;可以單說一項 ，也可以綜合起來說 。
關(guān)于建議方面：⑴ 事先說明這種做法的后果，進行教育;⑵ 采取懲罰措施 。
范文賞析
Academic Dishonesty on Campus
It is shown in the recent surveys that many college students copy papers from the Internet to save the trouble of doing their assignments . In my opinion, this kind of academic dishonesty is very harmful to these students.
引言部分 ：作者先提出有學生從網(wǎng)上抄文章以完成老師布置的任務(wù)，然后提出自己的觀點：這種行為對學生是不利的。
First, copying papers from the Internet makes students lazy. Copying papers from the Internet seems easy and can save some time and trouble; seldom work hard to complete their papers on their own. In other words, students will become lazier and lazier. Second, students can learn little from copying others’ work. Students cannot improve their abilities just by downloading papers from the Internet without their own thinking and working. What’s worse, once students get used to academic cheating, they may also cheat in other cases in the future, which will be very dangerous for them, especially when it’s put down in the honesty record .
主體部分：作者在這里給出了三個理由：使學生變懶 ;學不到東西，破壞誠信。這里使用 了first，second，what s worse來連接這些理由。這里的一個亮點是近義詞的使用，如 ：copy papers from the Internet ，academic dishonesty ，copy others work ，download papers from the internet，academic cheating 等都是表示學術(shù)舞弊行為。
Therefore, in order to prevent academic dishonesty on campus, some punishments by the school may be necessary. But the most important thing is that teachers should talk to those students, and make them aware of the fact that copying others’ work cannot bring them any knowledge and that only by working hard can they improve themselves.
總結(jié)部分：作者用therefore自然引入結(jié)論部分，提出自己的建議：需要懲罰，但更要教育。
亮點回放
1.save the trouble of doing sth.:“省去做某事的麻煩”;
2.assignment : “任務(wù)，被指定的(課外 )作業(yè)” ;此處也可以用homework ，task等 ，但是assignment學術(shù)性更強些 ，在這里更恰當。
3.download :“下載”;這是常用的與網(wǎng)絡(luò)相關(guān)的詞語 ，常用 的還有upload ，copyand paste ，install ，uninstall等 。
4.inothercases: “在其他情況下” ;也可以用inothersituations ，onotheroccasions，under other circumstances等 。
5. be put down:“記下”;這里還可以用be written down ，be recorded等 。
6.honesty record: “誠信記錄” ;也可以用integrity record來代替 。
7. talk to: 通常表示“和某人談話” ，此處暗含著“教育某人”的意思 。
8.only by working hard can they improve themselves: “只有通過努力他們才能有所提高” 這里使用 的是部分倒裝 的句式 。當only，hardly，scarcely，seldom等詞放在句首時，通常要部分倒裝。
題目3：Certification: A Way to Prove Oneself
寫作要求
Nowadays many students will choose to study for some kind of certifi cation and it has been recognized as a way to prove one’s ability. Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
Certifi cation: A Way to Prove Oneself
You are to write in three parts.
In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your idea is.
In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
審題思路
本題是一道分析利弊/差異型的題目，要求論述證書對學生的重要性 ：證書是證明自己的一種方式。因此，本文的側(cè)重點是證書是如何證明自己的，可以從以下方面論述 ：
其一 ，證書是學習能力的證明;
其二 ，證書是積極進取的證明;
其三 ，證書是興趣廣泛的證明。
Certification: A Way to Prove Oneself
For a growing number of Chinese people, the most productive thing to do with one’s spare time is to study for some kind of certification. From languages to business skills to teaching, certifications act as proof of one’s interest, attitude and ability. More and more, a resume with degrees and work experiences looks a bit boring; certifications are like accessories —they complete the outfit.
引言部分：作者提出了考證熱這個現(xiàn)象，并亮出觀點：證書是一個人興趣愛好 、學習態(tài)度和學習能力的證明，因此 ，概括了主體部分將重點論述的方面。
Certifications accomplish several purposes. First, they show employers that one is diversified. While one’s interest is not limited to only one major, he will win himself more chances of jobs than others, which is likely to result in a good-paying job and better employability. Besides, certifications indicate that the owner is proactive; he is not sitting around in his spare time. Instead, he is constantly looking to improve himself. This is what sets one applicant apart from the rest when applying for a sought-after position.
What’s more important is that the certifications prove that the person has great potential as he is good at study and has a good sense of balance. He has made an effort to learn more skills while keeping focused on his major or occupation.
主體部分：作者采用的是總分式結(jié)構(gòu)，先概述證書能起到幾個作用 ，然后具體分述了三方面的作用：證書證明興趣廣泛，可以帶來更多工作機會;說明態(tài)度積極進取，給人更好的印象表明學習能力出眾，有潛力。
All in all, certifications give students more confidence in the job market as they demonstrate that the owners have wider interest, more proactive attitude and stronger learning ability.
總結(jié)部分：作者用all in all自然過渡到結(jié)尾段落，并再次概述證書的作用，可以給學生帶來更多自信。
亮點回放
1. growing: “增強的，越來越多的” ;近義詞為increasing。
2. certification: “證 明，證書 ，鑒定” ;注意與certificate的區(qū)別 。
3. act as: “起到……的作用 ，擔任 ，充當”;近義詞為perform as ，function as ，be used as等。
4. accessory: “附件 ，配件”。
5. outfit : “配備 ，裝備 ” ;此處complete the outfit意思為 “使得整體 (這里指簡歷 )完整”。
6. accomplish several purposes: “起到幾個作用” ，此處也可以用serve several purposes。
7. diversified: “多樣化的，多種多樣 的” ;此處也可以用versatile (多才多藝的 )。
8. win sb. sth.: “為某人贏得某物” ;win也可以換成gain 。
9. employability : “可用性 ，受雇就業(yè)能力” ;該詞 的使用體現(xiàn)了作者較大的詞匯量和靈 活運用能力 。
10. proactive: “先發(fā)制人的，積極的”;此處表示 “積極的”，也可以使用take the initiative。
11. sit around: “坐著沒事干” ;不及物動詞 ，后面可以接doing ，表示 “閑坐著干什么事”。此處可以用idle away one s spare time來替代 。
12. set sb. apart: “區(qū)別 ，分開 ，使與眾不 同” ，后面可以接from sb. else ，可以用make sb. distinguished from sb. else來替代 。
13. sought-after: “很吃香的，備受歡迎的”;sought是seek 的過去分詞，此處作形容詞用。
14. demonstrate: “證明，演示，示范” ;本文中出現(xiàn)了很多近義詞 ：show ，indicate ，prove和demonstrate ，這些增加了文章的變化性 。
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