有一種單身，為了愛(ài)可以付出一切。他們不擔(dān)心自己用了多少時(shí)間去等，自己付出了多少努力，因?yàn)樗麄冎滥莻€(gè)人總有一天會(huì)答應(yīng)自己，然后和自己一起白頭偕老。

　　I was satisfied when I was first engaged with this "big name" company which has once designed the tallest building in China. I've since realized that this is just another "No Life" company living on its name. So, in fact I still don't have a life and I've discovered that I am screwed and destined to contribute my soul for a sound job title and reasonable salary.

　　Thinking about work from the moment I wake. Aesthesia sets in every morning with birdcall and I follow my senses and the ritual of trying to use the least amount of time to deal with trivial but essential routines; choosing the "best" food that is easiest to be swallowed and digested; reducing water ingestion to avoid unnecessary wastage and thus wasted time scurrying off for toilet visits; forever perfecting shortened "bye-byes" to get out the door more rapidly; enhancing work productivity after waking by bringing remaining unfinished work that can be accessed between naps.

　　在我順利加入這家設(shè)計(jì)過(guò)曾是中國(guó)最高建筑的知名企業(yè)之初，我滿(mǎn)意極了。然而，當(dāng)我發(fā)覺(jué)這也不過(guò)是一家靠著名頭吃飯的“無(wú)生活”公司時(shí)，滿(mǎn)足感頓時(shí)消失。所以，實(shí)際上我還是過(guò)著“無(wú)生活”的生活，每天為了我響亮的頭銜和合理的薪水全力打拼。

　　從睜開(kāi)眼睛，身體有知覺(jué)的那一刻開(kāi)始，滿(mǎn)腦子就都是工作的事情;每天清晨被鳥(niǎo)叫醒，憑著直覺(jué)用最短的時(shí)間處理掉吃喝拉撒之類(lèi)生活必須的瑣事;吃最容易咀嚼吞咽消化的食物;盡量少喝水，以減少這些意義不大的事及其帶來(lái)的頻繁往返衛(wèi)生間的副作用所侵吞的時(shí)間;永遠(yuǎn)完美而簡(jiǎn)短地說(shuō)再見(jiàn)并快速出門(mén);盡量把一些當(dāng)天沒(méi)能處理完的事情留在睡夢(mèng)中繼續(xù)思考，以提高醒來(lái)后的工作效率……

　　Thus every second saved gives an extra second to increased efficiency and output. As for any form of unstructured time, like seeing movies, strolling around, or even just being in a thoughtless daze, only when the devil is blind to work, time, efficiency and productivity will that time come for me.

　　就這樣，從日常生活中擠出來(lái)的一分一秒讓我有更充足的時(shí)間提高效率和超額完成工作量。至于什么休閑活動(dòng)，譬如看電影、逛街，甚至只是干坐著發(fā)發(fā)呆，絕對(duì)是沒(méi)門(mén)兒的，除非驅(qū)使我工作的“魔鬼”已經(jīng)完全瞎掉，看不到工作、時(shí)間、效率或業(yè)績(jī)!

　　I have turned so panda eyed, so much so that even liberal coverings of foundation make up can't conceal my physical signs of exhaustion. I am especially numb about my gender, as I was disillusioned with my MD's genuinely appreciative praise on my "manly" working attitude, which runs counter to my lifetime pursuit of becoming a full time blissfully happy housewife. But every time my real ambition becomes lost as I become, against my will, deeply emotionally connected with the MD by his impassioned speeches that are always full of his acknowledgement to those who work slave-like with bended heads over heaped papers. I hang on his words waiting for tidbits of praise and after I am filled with self-loathing that I am sucked into this subordinate and subservient role. And as a female I feel we have lost our gender and identity in the battlefield of the inner office, becoming sexless, senseless, and loveless, living our "No Life" existence.

　　我臉上掛著兩個(gè)黑黑的熊貓眼，它們是如此醒目地昭示著我的疲倦，以至于再濃的妝也掩蓋不住。拼命的工作讓我對(duì)自己的性別概念完全模糊，直到老板誠(chéng)摯地夸獎(jiǎng)我“男人般”的工作態(tài)度時(shí)，我才想起當(dāng)年我對(duì)人生的美好設(shè)想是做一個(gè)幸?？鞓?lè)的家庭主婦。可是，當(dāng)我的老板激情洋溢地盛贊那些藏身于厚厚的文件背后，垂著腦袋奴隸一般工作的員工時(shí)，我曾經(jīng)的人生理想再一次完全隱匿。我渴望得到認(rèn)同和表?yè)P(yáng)，而隨后我又陷入極度自我厭惡中，我竟然沉迷于這個(gè)卑微的奴性角色中。作為一名女性，我們?cè)谵k公室沒(méi)有硝煙的戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)上漸漸喪失了自己的女性身份，變成一個(gè)個(gè)沒(méi)有性別特征，沒(méi)有意識(shí)，也沒(méi)有愛(ài)情的“無(wú)生活”生物。

　　Some people, it seems, do have a constructive consciousness and attitude towards working, always looking forward and thinking positively, without cynicism. There was an interview with some CEO on TV insolently summing-up the secrets of success "Our success is due to those personnel happily working for the enterprise day and night, day after day." I don't know whether these employees are really happy or pretending to be happy or if the CEO has assumed subjectively his staffs' happiness. I ask myself, can work really bring such contentment and fulfillment to your life?

　　似乎有那么一種人，總是對(duì)工作有著建設(shè)性的覺(jué)悟和態(tài)度，每天都積極樂(lè)觀地向前看，從不會(huì)消極怠工。曾經(jīng)在電視上看到過(guò)一次對(duì)某位CEO的采訪(fǎng)，他自豪地總結(jié)企業(yè)成功的秘訣：“我們的成功，都是因?yàn)槲覀兊膯T工披星戴月、夜以繼日的積極快樂(lè)地工作!”不知道他們是真的開(kāi)心，還是看上去開(kāi)心，抑或只是CEO們一廂情愿地主觀假定他們應(yīng)該很開(kāi)心。我不禁自問(wèn)，工作真的能給一個(gè)人帶來(lái)那么大的滿(mǎn)足感和成就感嗎?

　　I still remember in a meeting that our MD said that the previous manager here, who was female, quit the company because she could not get married and couldn't even get into any stable relationship due to the time she must give to her work! She was close to 50 before she realized the necessity to change jobs and priorities. Nearly 50 for Christ's sake! I promised myself I will never become the second sedulous example in this company. There is also a fashion designer who hasn’t been in a relationship for 5 years. The last time she was in love was in University. She has No Life. She doesn't even have time for meals. She has resolved to break up with this company. How many are there like us? How many "No life" women are there? There are two groups of women in Shanghai, and maybe in this world, 90% have "No life", no fun and no money. The other 10 % seems to make money easily, they go clubbing all week, drinking and partying，it seems this is their "Life". Because I am single, I am not a socialite, and I am deemed an older woman (approaching 30), am I destined to always work hard with "No Life"?

　　我仍然記得在一次會(huì)議上我老板提到的那個(gè)公司前任女經(jīng)理的事情。據(jù)說(shuō)她把所有時(shí)間都花在了工作上，以至于沒(méi)空考慮結(jié)婚的事，甚至無(wú)法和一個(gè)男人維持穩(wěn)定的關(guān)系，最后她只好辭掉工作。當(dāng)她意識(shí)到必須要改變工作和生活的先后關(guān)系時(shí)，她已經(jīng)年屆50了。50歲啊，老天!我對(duì)自己發(fā)誓，我決不能成為第二個(gè)她!還有另一位時(shí)尚女設(shè)計(jì)師，已經(jīng)整整五年沒(méi)談過(guò)戀愛(ài)了。她的上一次戀愛(ài)還得追溯到大學(xué)時(shí)代……她完全過(guò)著“無(wú)生活”的生活，甚至連吃飯的時(shí)間都沒(méi)有。后來(lái)她終于下定決心離開(kāi)了這家公司。還有多少人和我們有同樣的經(jīng)歷?這里還有多少過(guò)著“無(wú)生活”的女性?在上海，甚至是全世界，女人只分為兩種。90%“無(wú)生活”，沒(méi)有情趣也沒(méi)有錢(qián);另外10%早早地賺夠了錢(qián)，于是天天泡吧喝酒辦派對(duì)，享受著看似精彩的“生活”。而我，因?yàn)檫€是單身，又不是什么社交名媛，又被歸為大齡女性(年屆三十)，我就得乖乖地奴隸般地工作，過(guò)我的“無(wú)生活”生活。

　　I am a single older woman.

　　我是個(gè)單身的大齡女性。

　　Sometimes I am a lonely woman.

　　我時(shí)不時(shí)也會(huì)覺(jué)得寂寞。

　　I ask myself is that true? Am I old, single and lonely?

　　是這樣嗎，我問(wèn)自己?我真的又老又孤獨(dú)嗎?

　　There are far too many compatriots in the same boat with me. What else can I say to you to convince you otherwise. Sometimes I can not even convince myself that I'm a success in someway - we are lonely, we long for love, we are terribly afraid of dying destitute. When Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of the book Singled Out (St. Martin's Press, 2006), asked 950 college students to describe married people, they used words like "happy, loving, secure, stable, and kind." The descriptions of singles, on the other hand, included "lonely, shy, unhappy, insecure, inflexible, and stubborn". "My goodness, am I one of them?" I screamed and could not help asking myself this question. Mind you, nearly more then 50% of my friends who are far beyond their nubile age are still unmarried. There are several reasons for this; career women marry later; the divorce rate is high for many reasons, including pressure of work; little time and mood to share your darling's romance; no emotion to release pressure from your hubby as you may also be stressed; no time or idea how to make proper candlelit dinners and, wow, just too many to list here. By the way, not to put too fine a point on it, those women who are married are likely to outlive their mates. As a result, most career women are now likely to spend more years of their lives single than with a significant other.

　　無(wú)數(shù)女同胞和我坐在同一條船上。我還能說(shuō)些什么呢?說(shuō)什么才能讓你相信事實(shí)并非如此呢?因?yàn)槲覀儐紊?，渴望?ài)情，極端害怕孤獨(dú)終老，所以有時(shí)候我甚至不能說(shuō)服自己其實(shí)我在某些方面也算是獲得了成功!在圣巴巴拉的加州大學(xué)分校任職并且即將發(fā)行新書(shū)《Singled Out》的心理學(xué)教授貝拉·德保羅博士，讓950名學(xué)子來(lái)描述已婚人士，學(xué)生們用了諸如“幸福”、“相愛(ài)”、“可靠”、“穩(wěn)定”、“美好”這類(lèi)的詞匯。而他們對(duì)未婚人群的形容，則是“孤獨(dú)”、“羞澀”、“不幸”、“惶恐”、“固執(zhí)”或是“執(zhí)拗”。我不禁驚呼并不自覺(jué)地不斷問(wèn)自己：“老天，莫非我也是他們中的一員?”事實(shí)上，我半數(shù)以上的女性朋友都已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)過(guò)了適婚年齡卻還是孤身一人。造成這個(gè)局面原因有很多：不少職業(yè)女性打定主意要晚婚，因?yàn)楣ぷ鲏毫Φ仍螂x婚率居高不下;心情很糟糕，根本沒(méi)有心思去緩解另一半的壓力，因?yàn)樽约旱膲毫Χ紵o(wú)處釋放;沒(méi)有時(shí)間也完全沒(méi)想過(guò)去營(yíng)造一次燭光晚餐……哎呀，問(wèn)題簡(jiǎn)直數(shù)不勝數(shù)!同時(shí)，雖然這一點(diǎn)聽(tīng)起來(lái)會(huì)讓人覺(jué)得不很舒服，但事實(shí)上就算結(jié)了婚，女人往往也還是比男人長(zhǎng)壽。所以這樣一來(lái)，大部分職業(yè)女性單身一人的日子可能會(huì)比擁有愛(ài)人的日子長(zhǎng)得多。

　　Us singles are not birds of a feather. Is today's typical older unwed female a lot like Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City's free-spirited patron saint of the deliberately single? The answer: a little of this and a little of that, and in some cases, all kinds of excuses you could figure out.

　　我們這些單身女性的情況各異。難道今天的典型大齡未婚女性都是《欲望都市》里的凱莉那樣擁有自由靈魂的獨(dú)身主義者嗎?當(dāng)然不是，有時(shí)候，單身的理由真的是千奇百怪，你可能想都想不到。

　　Whatever, it's clear that words like lonely, shy, and insecure no longer apply to all. Fully half the women in our times, including me, say we are happier than we've ever been, at least while working and especially at the time we see and feel our careers progressing. Are we sad now and then? Sure - aren't we all? Do we occasionally lose sleep worrying about the future? Yes, and with good reason: being a single older woman comes with its own economic challenges. But that doesn't stop the majority from believing that midlife offers an opportunity for growth, for learning, and the chance to do the things we've always wanted to do. We even have the chance to do things outside of the confines, restraints and shackles of a relationship.

　　無(wú)論如何，有一點(diǎn)是肯定的，那就是諸如“孤獨(dú)”、“羞澀”、“不安”這樣的詞匯已經(jīng)完全不再適用于單身女性了。當(dāng)今社會(huì)上，至少半數(shù)的女性都認(rèn)為自己過(guò)得異乎尋常地幸福。至少在工作中，特別是在看到或感覺(jué)到自己事業(yè)上取得的成就時(shí)，我們會(huì)這么覺(jué)得。我們是否也會(huì)時(shí)不時(shí)地感傷呢?毋庸置疑——大家不都是這樣?我們偶爾是否會(huì)因?yàn)閾?dān)心自己的將來(lái)而失眠呢?答案也是肯定的，而且我們有很好的理由：成為一個(gè)大齡的單身女性勢(shì)必會(huì)帶來(lái)一系列經(jīng)濟(jì)上的問(wèn)題。但是這些并不能阻止大多數(shù)女性朝著單身又大齡這條路走。她們?nèi)匀幌嘈湃说街心瓴艙碛谐砷L(zhǎng)、學(xué)習(xí)的好時(shí)機(jī)，并有機(jī)會(huì)讓自己可以隨心所欲，甚至還能沖破重重阻礙和桎梏去做那些從前不被允許做或者做不到的事情。

　　So now, let me and all of you think again, do we really have "No Life"? I have some benefits that many married housewives can't share. Also, are we, the single "No Lifers" the ones who have created cages or limitations for ourselves? If so, it's in our hands to set ourselves free, to give ourselves "A Life", and not be so controlled by the expectations of society, work, family and friends who patronize us into thinking and believing that we have "No Life".

　　所以現(xiàn)在，讓我們大家再一起來(lái)思考一下，我們過(guò)的真的是“無(wú)生活”嗎?我生活中的很多樂(lè)趣是很多家庭婦女無(wú)法品嘗到的。那么，我們這些單身的“無(wú)生活”們又是不是在作繭自縛呢?如果是這樣，我們應(yīng)該親手解放自己，自己給自己“生活”，而不是讓自己的思維被那些迫使我們相信自己是“無(wú)生活”的社會(huì)、工作、家人和朋友所限制。

　　Am I desperate to find a mate? Given the option, I wouldn't mind a committed relationship with a cuddly, caring partner - preferably someone with minimal emotional baggage and the kind of income to support a nice summer house.

　　我真是那么迫切地要找到另一半嗎?當(dāng)然，如果可以選擇的話(huà)，我倒是不介意去忠實(shí)于一個(gè)可愛(ài)又體貼的伴侶——當(dāng)然他最好是沒(méi)有過(guò)去的感情包袱，又有不少收入，最好可以附帶買(mǎi)得起一套漂亮的房子。

　　I do not feel like dating at times, just simply because I am not interested in dating or being in a romantic relationship with bald guys unless I meet someone really interesting. It requires a philosophical balance between putting on a game face on Saturday night and not getting stressed if nothing develops.

　　可有時(shí)候我也沒(méi)那么想去約會(huì)。原因很簡(jiǎn)單，除非那個(gè)男人真的很有趣，否則要去和一個(gè)禿頂?shù)哪腥思s會(huì)或者談戀愛(ài)可真算不上是一件有意思的事!要想在周末晚上約會(huì)時(shí)顯得輕松自在，又不能表現(xiàn)出因?yàn)閾?dān)心兩人關(guān)系沒(méi)有進(jìn)展而憂(yōu)心忡忡，這沒(méi)有點(diǎn)哲學(xué)平衡思想是做不到的。

　　Am I lonely? I confess, yes I am, but everyone is lonely sometimes - even married people. But I actually enjoy my solitude while it could more or less balance my stressful feeling. Living alone can be lonely for sure but I love the freedom, and the fact that I know so many other singles I can network with.

　　我真的孤獨(dú)嗎?我承認(rèn)，好吧，我是很孤獨(dú)，但是人人都有孤獨(dú)的時(shí)候，結(jié)沒(méi)結(jié)婚都一樣!但是孤獨(dú)感有時(shí)候或多或少能平衡壓力，這讓我有時(shí)候也覺(jué)得孤獨(dú)是一種享受。一個(gè)人生活當(dāng)然會(huì)孤獨(dú)，但我鐘愛(ài)那種自由，事實(shí)上在我的周?chē)泻芏嗪臀彝瑯訂紊淼娜?，我們都享受和彼此交流的?lè)趣。

　　Do I like my manliness? Of course I don't. But I realized to have manliness in working is one thing and having it outside of work is another story completely. I am keenly aware that appearances matter in our society and as women we need to know when to be manly and when to be feminine.