雙語(yǔ)閱讀：讓孩子學(xué)會(huì)感恩

　　摘要：感恩已不再只是節(jié)日的事情。圍繞兒童感恩情況的一個(gè)研究領(lǐng)域正在興起，初步研究結(jié)果顯示，父母憑直覺(jué)提起這個(gè)話(huà)題非常正確。如果孩子能真正地歷數(shù)使他們感到幸福的事情，這對(duì)他們有實(shí)際益處。

　　At the Branstens' modern white dining table, thefamily holds hands for their nightly ritual.

　　Arielle, 8 years old, says she's thankful for her late grandfather, Horace, and how funny he was.'I'm missing him, ' she says. Her third-grade pal, over for dinner, chimes in, 'I'm grateful forthe sausages.' Leela, who works for an education nonprofit, and her attorney husband Peter,burst into smiles. The San Francisco couple couldn't have scripted this better. Appreciation forthings big and small -- that's why they do this.

　　布朗斯唐(Bransten)家現(xiàn)代風(fēng)格的白色餐桌旁，一家人手拉手開(kāi)始每天晚上都會(huì)進(jìn)行的儀式。

讓孩子學(xué)會(huì)感恩

　　八歲的阿麗爾(Arielle)說(shuō)，她感謝已故的祖父霍拉斯(Horace)以及他的風(fēng)趣。“我一直想念他，”她說(shuō)。阿麗爾來(lái)家里做客吃飯的三年級(jí)同學(xué)插嘴說(shuō)：“我感謝有香腸吃。”在一家非營(yíng)利教育機(jī)構(gòu)工作的利拉(Leela)和當(dāng)律師的丈夫彼得(Peter)不禁笑起來(lái)。這對(duì)生活在舊金山的夫婦的這個(gè)安排非常完美。對(duì)生活中大大小小的事情心存感恩——這就是他們這樣做的原因。

　　Giving thanks is no longer just holiday fare. A field of research on gratitude in kids isemerging, and early findings indicate parents' instincts to elevate the topic are spot-on.Concrete benefits come to kids who literally count their blessings.

　　感恩已不再只是節(jié)日的事情。圍繞兒童感恩情況的一個(gè)研究領(lǐng)域正在興起，初步研究結(jié)果顯示，父母憑直覺(jué)提起這個(gè)話(huà)題非常正確。如果孩子能真正地歷數(shù)使他們感到幸福的事情，這對(duì)他們有實(shí)際益處。

　　Gratitude works like a muscle. Take time to recognize good fortune, and feelings ofappreciation can increase. Even more, those who are less grateful gain the most from aconcerted effort. 'Gratitude treatments are most effective in those least grateful, ' saysEastern Washington University psychology professor Philip Watkins.

　　感恩的形成如同肌肉。如果花時(shí)間認(rèn)識(shí)到值得慶幸的事，感恩的情緒就會(huì)增加。甚至感恩之心沒(méi)那么強(qiáng)的人在齊心協(xié)力的努力中會(huì)獲益最多。東華盛頓大學(xué)(Eastern Washington University)心理學(xué)教授沃特金斯(PhilipWatkins)說(shuō)，感恩療法在那些感恩之心較為淡薄的人身上最有效。

　　Among a group of 122 elementary school kids taught a weeklong curriculum on conceptsaround giving, gratitude grew, according to a study due to be published in 2014 in SchoolPsychology Review. The heightened thankfulness translated into action: 44% of the kids in thecurriculum opted to write thank-you notes when given the choice following a PTApresentation. In the control group, 25% wrote notes.

　　將于2014年發(fā)表在《學(xué)校心理學(xué)評(píng)論》(School Psychology Review)上的一項(xiàng)研究報(bào)告顯示，一個(gè)由122名小學(xué)生組成的小組在接受了為期一周的有關(guān)付出的課程后，感恩心態(tài)有所增強(qiáng)。增加的感激之情轉(zhuǎn)化成了行動(dòng)：參加課程的孩子在觀(guān)看一個(gè)家庭教師協(xié)會(huì)(PTA)的演示后，有44%的孩子選擇了寫(xiě)感謝信。對(duì)照組寫(xiě)感謝信的孩子比例為25%。

　　'The old adage that virtues are caught, not taught, applies here, ' says University of California,Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons. Parents need to model this behavior to build theirchildren's gratitude muscle. 'It's not what parents want to hear, but you cannot give your kidssomething that you yourselves do not have, ' Dr. Emmons says.

　　加州大學(xué)戴維斯分校(University of California, Davis)的心理學(xué)教授埃蒙斯(Robert Emmons)說(shuō)，有句老話(huà)叫美德重在身教而非言傳，在這里也適用。父母需要以身作則表現(xiàn)出感恩，才能讓孩子也學(xué)會(huì)感恩。埃蒙斯說(shuō)，關(guān)鍵不在于父母想聽(tīng)些什么，而是你自己都不具備的品質(zhì)不可能傳授給孩子。

　　This may seems obvious, but it eludes many parents, Dr. Watkins says. 'I think the mostimportant thing for us adults to realize is we're not very grateful either, ' he says.

　　沃特金斯說(shuō)，這看上去似乎是顯然的，但很多父母并沒(méi)意識(shí)到。他說(shuō)，我認(rèn)為對(duì)我們這些成年人來(lái)說(shuō)最重要的是要認(rèn)識(shí)到，我們自己也沒(méi)有多少感恩之心。

　　The mere act of giving thanks has tangible benefits, research suggests. A 2008 study of 221kids published in the Journal of School Psychology analyzed sixth- and seventh-gradersassigned to list five things they were grateful for every day for two weeks. It found they had abetter outlook on school and greater life satisfaction three weeks later, compared with kidsassigned to list five hassles.

　　研究表明，僅僅是表示謝意的行動(dòng)也會(huì)帶來(lái)實(shí)際的益處。2008年發(fā)表于《學(xué)校心理學(xué)雜志》(Journal ofSchool Psychology)的一項(xiàng)研究報(bào)告對(duì)221名六年級(jí)和七年級(jí)的學(xué)生進(jìn)行了分析，他們被要求在兩周時(shí)間里每天列出為之心存感恩的五件事情。研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，相比被要求每天列舉五件為之煩惱的事的孩子，這些孩子在三周后對(duì)學(xué)校的看法更積極，生活滿(mǎn)意度也更高。

　　Another study examined 1, 035 high-school students outside New York City. The study,published in 2010 in the Journal of Happiness Studies, found that those who showed high levelsof gratitude, for instance thankfulness for the beauty of nature and strong appreciation ofother people, reported having stronger GPAs, less depression and envy and a more positiveoutlook than less grateful teens.

　　另一項(xiàng)研究檢查了紐約市以外1,035名高中生的情況。該研究論文于2010年發(fā)表于《幸福研究雜志》(Journalof Happiness Studies)，研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，相比那些不太感恩的青少年，具有強(qiáng)烈感恩之心的學(xué)生(比如對(duì)自然之美心存感恩，或很感激其他人)平均成績(jī)更高、不容易沮喪和嫉妒，也更為積極樂(lè)觀(guān)。

　　Further, teens who strongly connected buying and owning things with success and happinessreported having lower GPAs, more depression and a more negative outlook. 'Materialism hadjust the opposite effect as gratitude -- almost like a mirror, ' says study co-author JeffreyFroh, associate professor of psychology at Hofstra University.

　　此外，將購(gòu)買(mǎi)和擁有事物與成功和幸福聯(lián)系起來(lái)的青少年成績(jī)較差、情緒更低落、也更為悲觀(guān)。上述研究的聯(lián)合作者、霍夫斯特拉大學(xué)(Hofstra University)心理學(xué)助理教授弗羅(Jeffrey Froh)說(shuō)，物質(zhì)主義產(chǎn)生的效果與感恩剛好相反。

　　Internet shopping has made acquisition so easy, the value of goods can be harder torecognize. 'Today, if one of our boys needs a new pair of shoes, my wife goes on Zappos,picks out the color and size, and they show up the next day in a FedEx box. No wishing. Noprioritizing. No desiring for something that is out of touch. Just click the button, and presto,the shoes arrive on our doorstep, ' says Willy Walker, who heads commercial real estatefinance firm Walker and Dunlop in Bethesda, Md. 'It drives me crazy.'

　　網(wǎng)絡(luò)購(gòu)物讓買(mǎi)東西更方便，但是人們更難以意識(shí)到商品的價(jià)值。在馬里蘭州貝塞斯達(dá)經(jīng)營(yíng)商業(yè)房地產(chǎn)金融公司W(wǎng)alker and Dunlop的沃克爾(Willy Walker)說(shuō)，現(xiàn)在，如果哪個(gè)孩子需要一雙新鞋，我妻子就會(huì)上Zappos網(wǎng)站，挑好顏色和尺寸，第二天鞋子就裝在聯(lián)邦快遞(FedEx)的盒子里送來(lái)了。沒(méi)有許愿的過(guò)程，不用決定優(yōu)先順序，沒(méi)有對(duì)可望而不可及的東西的期許。只要點(diǎn)擊鼠標(biāo)，然后鞋子轉(zhuǎn)眼就送到門(mén)口了。這簡(jiǎn)直讓我發(fā)瘋。

　　He has reacted to this reality -- so different from how he'd eye a pair of Pumas at the store formonths before ever getting them as a kid -- with determination to keep consumption modestwhere possible. So, he hasn't set up the Wii his kids received as a present. 'They get plenty ofvideo entertainment all over, so why not scale back at home?' he says.

　　現(xiàn)在的情況完全不同于他自己小時(shí)候在店里眼巴巴地看著一雙彪馬(Puma)運(yùn)動(dòng)鞋、要好幾個(gè)月才能得到的情形，面對(duì)這一事實(shí)，他決心盡可能地將孩子們的消費(fèi)保持在適度的水平。因此他一直沒(méi)有設(shè)置孩子們作為禮物收到的Wii游戲機(jī)。他說(shuō)，他們到處都有一大堆的視頻游戲，因此為什么不在家里減少一點(diǎn)兒呢?

　　When his son wanted a cellphone for his 11th birthday, Mr. Walker set out to 'get the Pintorather than the Cadillac.' In this case, his resolve fell away when challenged by factors like easeand quality. 'The Pintos didn't really limit access to texting or Web-browsing. They just dideverything worse than the more expensive phones. So we got him an iPhone 4S. Ugh.'

　　當(dāng)他兒子想要一部手機(jī)作為11歲生日禮物時(shí)，沃克爾打算買(mǎi)個(gè)便宜的，不要高檔的。這一次，由于考慮到手機(jī)的使用便利程度和質(zhì)量等因素，他的決心有所動(dòng)搖。他說(shuō)：“廉價(jià)手機(jī)其實(shí)也并不限制收發(fā)短信或上網(wǎng)。它們只不過(guò)是所有的功能都比更昂貴的手機(jī)差。于是我們給他買(mǎi)了部iPhone 4S。唉。”

　　A 2013 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that tracked materialism in 355, 000high school seniors from 1976 to 2007 found that desire for lots of money has increasedmarkedly since the mid-1970s, while willingness to work hard to earn it has decreased. Amongkids surveyed, 62% thought it was important to have lots of money and nice things between2005 and 2007, while 48% had this view from 1976 to 1978.

　　2013年發(fā)表于《人格與社會(huì)心理學(xué)公報(bào)》(Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin)的一項(xiàng)研究在1976年至2007年期間跟蹤調(diào)查了35.5萬(wàn)名高中高年級(jí)學(xué)生的物質(zhì)主義傾向，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)，自上世紀(jì)70年代中期以來(lái)，學(xué)生們想要很多錢(qián)的愿望大大增加，而通過(guò)努力賺錢(qián)的意愿則下降了。在接受調(diào)查的孩子中，2005至2007年之間有62%的人認(rèn)為有很多錢(qián)和好東西很重要，1976至1978年有此看法的孩子比例為48%。

　　'This subject is huge for us, ' says Gabrielle Toledano, an executive vice president atvideogame company Electronic Arts. She and her husband live in San Francisco with their 9-year-old, Amelie, and 12-year-old, Ben. Ms. Toledano, and her husband Kurt Gantert, a campdirector and stay-home dad, are deliberate about finding everyday ways to remind their kidshow good they've got it.

　　視頻游戲公司藝電(Electronic Arts)的執(zhí)行副總裁托勒達(dá)諾(Gabrielle Toledano)說(shuō)，這個(gè)主題對(duì)我們來(lái)說(shuō)意義極為重大。她和丈夫與九歲的女兒阿梅莉(Amelie)和12歲的兒子本(Ben)住在舊金山。托勒達(dá)諾和丈夫甘特爾特(Kurt Gantert)深思熟慮，在日常生活中想辦法提醒孩子們，他們享受著多好的生活。甘特爾特是一位夏令營(yíng)負(fù)責(zé)人，并負(fù)責(zé)在家?guī)Ш⒆印?/p>

　　'We eat family dinner every night and thank Dad for making it, ' Ms. Toledano says. 'We talkabout how I work hard so we can have nice food. If the kids don't come to the table when wecall them, I tell them it's rude, because someone has made an effort, ' she says.

　　托勒達(dá)諾說(shuō)，我們一家人每天晚上吃飯時(shí)都會(huì)感謝爸爸做飯。我們會(huì)談?wù)撐夜ぷ饔卸嘈量啵晕覀儾庞锌煽诘拿朗?。如果我們叫孩子們吃飯時(shí)他們沒(méi)來(lái)到餐桌邊，我會(huì)告訴他們這樣沒(méi)禮貌，因?yàn)橛腥藶榇烁冻隽诵羷凇?/p>

　　The couple is committed to their kids' having part-time jobs when they are old enough. 'Theyshould work in the back office or the kitchen, ' Ms. Toledano says. 'There are interesting,hardworking people there. You learn more about gratitude when you have friends who aren'tas privileged as you are, ' she says.

　　這對(duì)夫婦決心在孩子們足夠大時(shí)讓他們從事兼職工作。托勒達(dá)諾說(shuō)，他們應(yīng)當(dāng)在后勤部門(mén)或廚房里干活。那里有一些很有意思、努力工作的人。如果你有一些境遇不如自己的朋友，你會(huì)更多地學(xué)會(huì)感恩。

　　Despite good intentions, some parents are struggling with how to stoke the giving fires in theirchildren. 'It's an uphill battle, ' says Andrea Rice, president of professional developmentcoaching business CareerCore. Her kids are 12 and 9. 'We both work, so the kids have an aupair. They are shuttled from A to B. They don't really struggle much. Because that's theirreality, it doesn't matter how much you say, 'Appreciate this, appreciate that, ' ' Ms. Rice says.

　　雖然懷揣著良好意愿，但一些父母覺(jué)得很難讓孩子更多地付出。“這是非常艱難的。”職業(yè)發(fā)展培訓(xùn)機(jī)構(gòu)CareerCore的總裁萊斯(Andrea Rice)說(shuō)。她的孩子分別為12歲和九歲。萊斯說(shuō)，我們夫妻兩人都要上班，因此孩子們有一個(gè)住家保姆。他們總在不斷穿梭。他們其實(shí)沒(méi)遇到過(guò)什么困難。因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)實(shí)就是這樣的，不管你怎樣苦口婆心地說(shuō)對(duì)這個(gè)要感恩，對(duì)那個(gè)要感恩。

　　Everyday actions may be even more important than big efforts, researchers say. 'Expressgratitude to your spouse. Thank your kids, ' Hofstra's Dr. Froh says. 'Parents say, 'Whyshould I thank them for doing something they should do, like clean their room?' By reinforcingthis, kids will internalize the idea, and do it on their own.'

　　研究人員說(shuō)，父母的日常行為可能比花大力氣去說(shuō)教孩子更為重要?；舴蛱厮估髮W(xué)的弗羅說(shuō)，向你的另一半表示感謝。同時(shí)也要謝謝你的孩子們。弗羅表示，父母會(huì)說(shuō)，我為什么要為孩子應(yīng)該自己動(dòng)手做的事情去謝謝他們，比如打掃自己的房間?但實(shí)際上，通過(guò)這種強(qiáng)調(diào)方式，孩子會(huì)將這一想法內(nèi)在化，然后自己來(lái)做。

　　Still, Eastern Washington's Dr. Watkins cautions, 'Don't shove it down their throats.' His familygives thanks at Thanksgiving, but it's not a formal process. 'Don't make this, 'It's your turn, sosay something whether you feel it or not, ' ' he says.

　　但東華盛頓大學(xué)的沃特金斯提醒說(shuō)，這件事還是不要硬來(lái)。他的家庭會(huì)在感恩節(jié)彼此道謝，但不會(huì)搞得非常正式。他說(shuō)，不要弄成好像是“該你了，無(wú)論有沒(méi)有感受，都說(shuō)點(diǎn)什么吧”。

　　UC Davis's Dr. Emmons believes gratitude is actually easier for kids. 'As we get older, the giveand take of life is driven by expectations around tit-for-tat reciprocity. Kids have a naturalaffinity to gratitude. They often teach parents as much or more about gratitude than theother way around.'

　　加州大學(xué)戴維斯分校的埃蒙斯認(rèn)為，其實(shí)孩子更容易懷有感恩的心態(tài)。他說(shuō)，隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)，我們生活中的給予和回報(bào)往往會(huì)變成你來(lái)我往這種互惠型期待，而孩子則有一種很自然的感恩心理，他們?cè)谶@方面教給父母的常常與父母教給孩子的一樣多，甚至更多。

　　艱難歲月也要滿(mǎn)懷感恩之心

　　Being thankful is especially valuable in challenging times. Gratitude is actually medically proven to lift our spirits and improve our health. Discover how a little gratitude can create a lot of happiness in our lives.

　　在艱難的歲月里還能懷有一顆感恩之心就顯得越發(fā)彌足珍貴。感激之情其實(shí)也是一劑良藥，能幫我們提高情緒增強(qiáng)健康。你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)生命中的小小感激也能創(chuàng)造大大的幸福：

　　1. Find What You're Grateful For

　　想想讓你感激的人或事

　　The real uncertainty we face about our economic future can make us quite fearful and sad. Locating those things for which we can still be grateful, brings joy even in the face of those challenges without pretending they are not real.

　　我們所面臨的經(jīng)濟(jì)生活不穩(wěn)定會(huì)讓我們很擔(dān)心很難過(guò)，想想那些讓我們心存感激之情的人或事，會(huì)給我們帶來(lái)歡樂(lè)，就算有困難挑戰(zhàn)也無(wú)所謂，我們有足夠勇氣面對(duì)，不用假裝它們不存在。

　　2. Articulate It

　　說(shuō)出你的感謝

　　Tell a friend or loved one a story about something for which you are grateful. Don’t be surprised to find yourself smiling by the end of that story.

　　跟朋友或者愛(ài)人說(shuō)說(shuō)你感激的故事，說(shuō)完你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在微笑，別驚訝，這就是感激的魔力。

　　3.There's Always More to Be Grateful For

　　總是有很多值得感謝的人或事

　　Consider the difference between wealth and value. While material wealth is important, it is not the only source of real value in our lives. We can all celebrate value, even when the material wealth in our lives is taking a beating.

　　想想財(cái)富和價(jià)值之間的差異。物質(zhì)財(cái)富很重要，不過(guò)它并不是我們生活中真正價(jià)值的唯一來(lái)源。就算生活中的物質(zhì)財(cái)富遭受了打擊，我們也還能慶祝生命的價(jià)值。

　　4. Wealth Begins Within

　　我們其實(shí)很富有

　　An ancient rabbinic teaching reminds us that we are wealthy when we are happy with what we possess.

　　古老的諺語(yǔ)提醒著我們，因?yàn)樗鶕碛械臇|西感到快樂(lè)，我們也可以很富有。

　　5.Happiness and Satisfaction Are Different

　　快樂(lè)和滿(mǎn)意不一樣

　　We can want more than we currently have and still be happy with what we've got. Wanting more does not have to get in the way of enjoying what we already have. If it does, we will never have enough.

　　我們現(xiàn)在擁有，我們想要的更多，我們也會(huì)因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在的擁有而感到快樂(lè)。想要更多，并不會(huì)阻礙我們享受現(xiàn)在已有的東西。如果你無(wú)法享受現(xiàn)在的擁有，那你永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)滿(mǎn)足。

　　6. It's All Relative

　　一切都是相對(duì)的

　　A person who lives in a 0,000 house in a neighborhood of ,000 homes experiences living in a mansion. The same house in a neighborhood of 0,000 homes may feel like a hovel.

　　在7.5萬(wàn)美元的小區(qū)里，住著10萬(wàn)美元房子的人會(huì)覺(jué)得自己住的是別墅;同樣的房子換到50萬(wàn)美元的小區(qū)里，他會(huì)覺(jué)得自己住的是茅舍。

　　7. Help yourself by Helping Others

　　幫助別人其實(shí)也是幫助自己

　　The holidays are a great time to reach out to other people in need. And helping others address their needs is one of the best ways to relieve the anxiety we may feel about our own.

　　節(jié)假日是向其他需要幫助的人伸出援手的好機(jī)會(huì)。幫助他們，滿(mǎn)足他們的需要，也是緩解我們自身焦慮最好的方法之一。

　　8. We All Have Something to Give

　　我們總是有東西可以給予

　　No matter how difficult our circumstances may be, we can all offer support to those around us. Whether it’s a penny, a dollar, or much more, the act of giving always makes us feel as if we have more than we thought we had.

　　也許我們的境況很艱難，可是不管怎么樣，我們都還是能支持身邊的人，也許只是一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)錢(qián)，可是這樣給予的過(guò)程會(huì)讓我們感到，我們其實(shí)擁有很多。