在比較高級(jí)的英語(yǔ)寫作中，對(duì)于修辭手法的使用是比較嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)摹Ｏ旅媸菍W(xué)習(xí)啦小編給大家整理的高級(jí)英語(yǔ)寫作關(guān)于修辭的習(xí)題，供大家參閱!

　　高級(jí)英語(yǔ)寫作關(guān)于修辭的習(xí)題：Using Long Sentences

　　In contrast to short sentences, long sentences are particularly useful for presenting a set of complex, interlocking ideas. The following paragraph shows how a series of long sentences can be used effectively in this way.

　　It is particularly difficult to find good, cheap accommodation In big cities. What is more, public transport is sometimes crowded and dirty, particularly in the rush hour, and even the parks can become very crowded, especially on Sundays when it seems that every city-dweller is looking for some open space and green grass. Last of all, despite all the crowds, it is still possible to feel very lonely in a city.

　　In conclusion, I think that city life can be particularly appealing to, young people, who like the excitement of the city and don't mind the noise and pollution. However, many people, when they get older, and particularly when they have young children, often prefer the peace and fresh air of the countryside.

　　Each of the three long sentences show the disadvantage of living in the city. Short sentences would probably not work as effectively here because they could not adequately express the ideas being presented.

　　高級(jí)英語(yǔ)寫作關(guān)于修辭的習(xí)題：Alternating Short and Long Sentences

　　Although series of short and long sentences can both be effective in individual situations, frequent alternation in sentence length characterizes much memorable writing. After one or more long sentences that express complex ideas or images, the pitch of a short sentence can be refreshing and arresting. Look at the following examples:

　　We are not so easily misled by vision. Most of the things before our eyes are plainly there, not mistakable for other things except for the illusions created by professional magicians and, sometimes, the look of the lights of downtown New York against a sky so black as to make it seem a near view of eternity. Our eyes are not easy to fool.

　　Similarly, a long sentence that follows a series of short ones can serve as a climax or summing-up that relaxes the tension or fulfills the expectation created by the series, giving readers a sense of completion.

　　Here is an example.

　　We now have, as a result of modern means of communication, hundreds of words flung at us daily. We are constantly being talked at, by teachers, preachers, salesmen, public officials, and motion-picture sound tracks. The cries of advertisers pursue us into our very homes, thanks to the TV — and in some houses the TV is never turned off from morning to night. Daily the newsboy brings us, in large cities, from thirty to fifty enormous pages of print, and almost three times that amount on Sunday. We go out and get more words at bookstores and libraries. Words fill our lives.

　　Notice the difference between the following two passages, one of which contains sentences of fairly uniform length and the other of varied length.

　　高級(jí)英語(yǔ)寫作關(guān)于修辭的習(xí)題：Types of Sentences

　　A. The Periodic Sentence

　　A periodic sentence is one in which the main thought is not completed until the very end of the sentence.' Often this type of sentence is more effective than one in which the main thought is given first, followed by one or more modifying clauses or phrases. This is so because withholding the key word or words of the sentence until the end creates a sense of anticipation in the reader. Therefore, a periodic sentence is likely to be more emphatic than a sentence with a loose construction.

　　Notice the difference between the loose and periodic constructions in the following examples:

　　LOOSE CONSTRUCTION

　　The history of English words is the history of our civilization in many ways.

　　PERIODIC SENTENCE

　　In many ways, the history of English words is the history of our civilization.

　　LOOSE CONSTRUCTION

　　She was offered a professional contract after winning the Olympic gold medal for figure skating, according to newspaper reports.

　　PERIODIC SENTENCE

　　According to newspaper reports, after winning the Olympic gold medal for figure skating, she was offered a professional contract.

　　LOOSE CONSTRUCTION

　　There have been many great discoveries made by scientists in the twentieth century.

　　PERIODIC SENTENCE

　　Scientists in the twentieth century have made many great discoveries.

　　B. The Short and Long Sentences

　　1. Using Short Sentences

　　Short sentences can often be very powerful. Study the following famous short sentences, and see if you agree that each owns much of its power to its brevity and that more words would make them less effective.

　　Nice guys finish last.

　　Love conquers all.

　　War is hell.

　　The following passage from a speech illustrates how effective a series of short sentences and other short structures — including sentence fragments — can be.

　　What treaty that the whites have kept has' the red man broken? Not one. What treaty that the white men ever made with us have they kept? Not one. When I was a boy, the Sioux owned the world; the sun rose and set on their land; they set ten thousand men to battle. Where are the Warriors today? Who slew them? Where are our lands? Who owns them?

　　Notice how the short questions, clauses, and fragments build a rhythm that gives power to his indictment of the white world. Repeated short sentences, if used with awareness of their effect, can add to the words much rhythmic beat and dignity.

　　Short sentences have their uses. They are easy to read. They are clear and effective. But too many short sentences exhaust the reader. They sound childish:

　　Peter and Carl walks to school. Bonnie follows them. Bonnie is Peter's dog. She is a nice dog. She walks at Peter’s heels. She turns back at the butcher's shop. Now Bonnie will try to find her friends. She may go home.

　　When children start to write, they usually use short sentences. But gradually they find that they can write long sentences quite easily. To do this, they simply join the short sentences together with and, but, or or:

　　Peter and Carl walk to school, and Bonnie follows them.Bonnie is Peter's dog, and she is a nice dog. She walks at Peter's heels, but she turns back at the butcher's shop. Now Bonnie may try to find her friends, or she may go home.

　　The words and, but, and or are called coordinating conjunctions. They provide an easy method of joining short sentences together. You could also use subordinating conjunctions:

　　As Peter and Carl walk to school, Peter's nice dog, Bonnie, follows them, walking at Peter's heels until she turns back when they reach the butcher's shop. Now, if she doesn't find her friends, she will go home.

　　This paragraph is still about Peter, Carl, and Bonnie, but it sounds better somehow. One reason is that it uses four subordinating conjunctions, as, until, when, and if. Like coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions can be used to combine short sentences into longer sentences. But subordinating conjunctions are much more exact than coordinating conjunctions. They make relationships between groups of words much clearer.

　　Some of the most useful subordinating conjunctions are the following:

　　1. after 2. as long as 3. if 4. in so far as

　　5. since 6. because 7. in case 8. in order that

　　9. as 10. before 11. once 12. in as much as

　　13. as if 14. every time 15. till 16. provided (that)

　　17. so (that) 18. now that 19. until 20. while

　　21. though 22. although 23. unless 24. when

　　One reason for using subordinating conjunctions, then, is that they allow the writer to express his meaning more accurately. Another reason is that they allow more variety in sentence structure. Think about the sentence, 1 studied hard and 1 passed the examination.

　　This sentence uses the coordinating conjunction and. We can turn it around, so that the second part comes first: And 1 passed the examination 1 studied hard. [We might write 1 passed the examination and 1 studied hard, (the two parts seem to be in the wrong order. )] If we insist on keeping all the words, we are stuck with the sentence. But this isn't .the case if we use the subordinating conjunction because instead of the coordinating conjunction and:

　　I passed the examination because 1 studied hard.

　　Because I studied hard, I passed the examination.

　　Most sentences with subordinating conjunctions can be turned around. Don't forget to put a comma when a two-part sentence starts with a subordinating conjunction. A comma usually separates the two sections of the sentence:

　　No Comma:

　　I'm a happy man now that I've solved my problems.

　　Comma:

　　Now that I've solved my problems, I'm a happy man.

　　No Comma:

　　You can use these tools till the fanners come back.

　　Comma:

　　Till the fanners come back, you can use these tools.

　　Sentences grow as ideas grow. Language is related to thought. The quality of language is related to the quality of thought. Children start to write simple sentences. But as they grow up, their thoughts become more complicated, their sentences more complex. They learn to communicate dozens of bits of related information in the same sentence.

　　Now look at the following two ways of combining sentences:

　　TWO SENTENCES:

　　Tom heard a knock at the door. Tom went to open it.

　　ONE SENTENCE:

　　Hearing a knock at the door, Tom went to open it.

　　TWO SENTENCES:

　　Bert is a certified accountant. Even Bert was stumped by the fourth math problem.

　　ONE SENTENCE:

　　Even Bert, a certified accountant, was stumped by the fourth math problem.

　　高級(jí)英語(yǔ)寫作關(guān)于修辭的習(xí)題

　　Uniform Lengths

　　The house is a fixer-upper, of course, and so for the past two days (it seems like the past two decades), I've been fixing things, crawling about in the basement — dirt-floored, naturally — trying to learn to fix copper plumbing. The people renting the house last winter froze and burst the pipes. As a result, I have to put in all new stuff; learning as I go. With five-foot headroom, it's a real joy to be playing with torch and hot solder down there. I climb around oozing soilpipes from another era. I crouch Quasimodo-like, measuring, cutting, squatting, slouching, until my back is permanently bent. I have been picking spiders out of my beard, and my clothes are indescribable.

　　Varied Lengths

　　The house is a fixer-upper, of course, and so for the past two days (it seems like the past two decades), I've been fixing things, crawling about in the basement - dirt-floored, naturally. trying to learn to fix copper plumbing. What a nightmare! The people renting the house last winter froze and burst the pipes, and so I have to put in all new stuff. I'm learning as I go. With five- foot headroom, it's a real joy to be playing with torch and hot solder down there, climbing around oozing soilpipes from another era, crouching Quasimodo-like, measuring, cutting, squatting, slouching. My back is permanently bent. My beard is full of spiders. My clothes are indescribable.

　　In this second version, the writer uses coordination and subordination to combine the first four sentences of the first version into one long sentence that connects the main ideas of a fixer-upper, doing the fixing, and crawling about the basement. He then adds a very short exclamatory sentence that both sums up the ideas in the first sentence and points ahead to the rest of the passage. Next, he combines two closely related ideas, about burst pipes and the installation of new ones, into one sentence of medium length, changing the participial phrase "learning as I go" into a separate short sentence. The next three sentences of the original version, all dealing with the ordeal of working in the basement, are combined into one long sentence. Finally, a dependent clause and the two short clauses of a compound sentence are separated into three short, parallel sentences, which give a blunt, hammering effect to the writer's expression of his complaints.

　　C. Simple, Compound, Complex, and Compound-Complex Sentences

　　There are four traditional sentence patterns — Simple, Compound, Complex, and Compound-Complex.

　　1. The Simple Sentence

　　A simple sentence has a single subject-verb combination.

　　The mother is dressing her baby.

　　The part ended early.

　　He lost his wallet last week.

　　The city was destroyed by the earthquake.

　　A simple sentence may have more than one subject:

　　Ralph and Cindy are sitting under the tree.

　　Her speech and performance moved the audience.

　　or more than one verb:

　　He is reading and writing at the same time.

　　The factory chimney smoked and Polluted the air.

　　or several subjects and verbs:

　　Manny, Luwella, and Mary lubricated my car, replaced the oil filter, and cleaned the spark plugs.

　　2. The Compound Sentence

　　A compound sentence is made up of two or more simple sentences, usually connected by a comma plus a joining word (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet).

　　A compound sentence is used when you want to give equal weight to closely related ideas. The technique of showing that ideas have equal importance is called coordination.

　　Look at the following examples of some compound sentences. Each sentence contains two ideas of equal importance:

　　The heavy rain started suddenly, so we stopped planting our trees.

　　Frank wanted to go swimming, but Mary decided to go shopping.

　　Jane works at the Family Planning Clinic and her husband Smith does research work for the same unit.

　　Mary had to give up sewing, for her arthritis had become very painful.

　　3. The Complex Sentence

　　A complex sentence is made up of a simple sentence (a complete statement) and a statement that begins with a dependent word.

　　A complex sentence is used when you want to emphasize one idea over another in a sentence. Here is an example of a complex sentence.

　　Because I forgot the time, I missed the play.

　　The idea that the writer wishes to emphasize here — I missed the play — is expressed as a complete thought. The less important idea — Because I forgot the time — is subordinated to the complete thought. The technique of giving one idea less emphasis than another is called subordination.

　　Look at some more examples. In each case, the part starting with the dependent word is the less emphasized part of the sentence.

　　While Susan 'LOOS eating the fish, she began to feel sick.

　　I checked my paper again before I handed it to my professor.

　　When Cindy lost her temper, she also lost her manner.

　　Although Tom practiced for two months, he failed his driving test.

　　4. The Compound-Complex Sentence

　　The compound-complex sentence is made up of two (or more) simple sentences and one (or more) dependent statements. In the following examples, a solid line is under the dependent statement.

　　When the power line snapped, Jack was listening to the stereo, and Linda was reading in bed.

　　After I returned to school following a long illness, the math teacher gave me make-up work, but the history teacher made me drop her course.

　　Topics for Discussion (討論題)：

　　1. How many different methods are there to classify English sentences?

　　2. In what a way is a periodic sentence different from a loose construction?

　　3. When do we employ long sentences?

　　II. Common Errors

　　A. Run-on Sentences

　　A run-on sentence incorrectly runs together two independent clauses without a conjunction or punctuation. This kind of error will confuse the reader, who will not be able to tell where one thought stops and the next begins. Some run-on sentences have no punctuation at all to mark the break between the thoughts:

　　Rita decided to stop smoking she didn't want to die of lung cancer.

　　The exam was postponed the class 'Was canceled as well .

　　I took lots of vitamin C however, I still came down with the flu.

　　In other run-on sentences, also known as comma splices, a comma is placed between the two complete thoughts. But the comma alone is not enough to join two complete thoughts:

　　Rita decided to stop smoking, she didn't want to die of lung cancer.

　　The exam 'was postponed, the class was canceled as well.

　　I took lots of vitamin C, however, I still came down with the flu.

　　There are three common ways of correcting run-on sentences:

　　1. Use a period and a capital letter to mark the break between the thoughts:

　　Rita decided to stop smoking. She didn't want to die of lung cancer.

　　The exam was postponed. The class was canceled as well.

　　I took lots of vitamin C. However, I still came down with the flu.

　　2. Use a comma plus a joining word (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet) to connect the two complete thoughts:

　　Rita decided to stop smoking, for she didn't 'want to die of lung cancer.

　　The exam was postponed, and the class was canceled as well .

　　I took lots of vitamin C, but I still came down with the flu.

　　3. Use a semicolon ( ; ) to connect the two complete thoughts:

　　Rita decided to stop smoking; she didn't want to die of lung cancer.

　　The exam was postponed; the class was canceled as well .

　　I took lots of vitamin C; however, I still came down with the flu.

　　How to Avoid Run-on Sentences

　　1. Period and a capital letter

　　One way of correcting a run-on sentence is to use a period and a capital letter at the break between the two complete thoughts. Use this method especially if the thoughts are not closely related or if another method would make the sentence too long.

　　2. Comma and a joining word

　　Another way of correcting a run-on sentence is to use a comma plus a joining word to connect the two complete thoughts. Joining words (also called conjunctions) include and, but, for, or, nor, so, and yet. Here is what the four most common joining words mean:

　　and: in addition to, along with

　　His feet hurt from the long hike, and his stomach was growling.

　　("And" means "in addition": His feet hurt from the long hike; in addition, his stomach was growling.)

　　but: however, except, on the other hand, just the opposite

　　I remembered to get the Kleenex, but I forgot to get the paper towels.

　　("But" means "however": I remembered to get the Kleenex; However, I forgot to get the paper towels.)

　　for: because, the reason why, the cause for something

　　She was afraid she would not do 'Well in the course, jar she had always had bad luck with English before.

　　("For” means “because” or “the reason why": She was afraid she would not do well in the course; the reason why was that she had always had bad luck with English before.) If you are not comfortable using for, you may want to use because instead of for in the activities that follow. If you do use because, omit the comma before it.

　　so: as a result, therefore

　　The windshield wiper was broken, so she was in trouble when the rain started.

　　("So" means "as a result": The windshield wiper was broken; as a result, she was in trouble when the rain started.)

　　3. Semicolon

　　A third method of correcting a run-on sentence is to use a semicolon (;) to mark the break between two thoughts. The semicolon signals more of a pause than a comma alone but not quite the fell pause of a period.

　　Here are some earlier sentences that were connected with a comma plus a joining word. Notice that a semicolon, unlike the comma alone, can be used to connect the two complete thoughts in each sentence:

　　A lot of men today get their hair styled; they use perfume and other cosmetics, too.

　　She had trouble doing her homework; her son was sick and kept distracting her.

　　I was a madman in my youth; I would do anything on a dare.

　　B. Fragmentary Sentences

　　Every sentence must have a subject and a verb and must express a complete thought. A word group that lacks a subject or a verb and that does not express a complete thought is a fragment. The following are the most common types of fragments people write:

　　Dependent-word fragments

　　-ing and to fragments

　　Added-detail fragments

　　Missing-subject fragments

　　Rightly or wrongly, sentence fragments turn up often in both speech and writing, in conversation we use and hear them fall the time. Sentence fragments appear not only in conversation and informa1 letters but also in print. Consider these selections:

　　Buy Dazzle toothpaste. Today. Because it gives you a superstar smile.

　　—- Advertising copy

　　Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts: giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves.

　　—- James Joyce

　　Each of these has one or more sentence fragments, but no problems result; the meaning of each fragment is perfectly clear in its context. In fact, these fragments serve to emphasize points that might not have been made so effectively with complete sentences.

　　So why should you not feel free to use sentence fragments in your own essays? The answer is that until you learn how to use them sparingly and strategically, your writing will look disorganized. Consider the two sentence fragments in this piece of student writing.

　　In conclusion I feel Falstaff proves to be a most likable and interesting character. Showing an ability to think quickly in tight spots. But above all he lends a comical light to the play. Which I feel makes it all the more enjoyable.

　　This piece is not much longer than the one by Joyce, but it is harder to read. Joyce's passage has just one fragment, and1t comes at the end, after a long, abundantly complete sentence. The four word tailpiece snaps the reader to attention. But the student's two fragments are simply confusing.

　　Though sentence fragments can sometimes enhance a passage, they are just as likely to break it into disconnected pieces. For that reason, they are generally not accepted in college essays, and we should avoid them.

　　Once we understand the specific kind or kinds of fragments that we may write, we should be able to eliminate them from our writing. The following will explain the four fragment types.

　　1. Dependent-Word Fragments

　　Some word groups that begin with a dependent word are fragments. Here is a list of common dependent words:

　　after, unless, even (even though, even if), since, before, when (whenever), because, if, who (whoever), while, as, (as if), which (whichever), although, though, so that, where (wherever), until, that

　　Whenever you start a sentence with one of these words, you must be careful so that a fragment does not result. The word group beginning with the dependent word after in the selection below is a fragment.

　　After I arrived inChicagoby bus . I checked into a room .then I went into a dinner to get something to eat.

　　A dependent statement — one starting with a dependent word like after — cannot stand alone. It depends on another statement to complete the thought. "After I arrived inChicagoby bus" is a dependent statement. It leaves us hanging. We expect in the same 'sentence 'to find out what happened after the writer arrived inChicago. When a writer does not follow through and complete a thought, a fragment results. To correct the fragment, simply follow through and complete the thought:

　　After I arrived inChicagoby bus, I checked into a room.

　　Remember, then, that dependent statements by themselves are fragments. They must be attached to a statement that makes sense standing alone. Here are two other selections with dependent-word fragments:

　　Brian sat nervously in the dental clinic. While waiting to have his wisdom tooth pulled.

　　My daughter likes to make paper boats. Which she floats in the tub during her nightly

　　bath

　　"While waiting to have his wisdom tooth pulled" is a fragment; it does not make sense standing by itself. We want to know in the same statement what Brian did while waiting to have his tooth pulled. The writer must complete the thought. Likewise, "Which she floats during her nightly bath" is not in itself a complete thought. We want to know in the same statement whatwhich refers to.

　　How to Correct a Dependent-Word Fragment

　　In most cases we can correct a dependent-word fragment by attaching it to the sentence that comes before or after it:

　　After I arrived inChicagoby bus. I checked into a room.

　　(The fragment has been attached to the sentence that comes after it. )

　　Brian sat nervously in the dental clinic while waiting to have his wisdom tooth pulled.

　　(The fragment has been attached to the sentence that comes before it. )

　　Another way of correcting a dependent-word fragment is simply to eliminate the dependent word:

　　I arrived inChicagoby bus and found a place to stay.

　　He waited to have his wisdom tooth pulled.

　　She floats them in the tub during her nightly bath.

　　2. -ing and to Fragments

　　When an -ing word appears at or near the start of a word group, a fragment may result. Such fragments often lack a subject and/or part of the verb. Underline the word groups in selections below that contain -ing words. Look at the following examples:

　　1. I spent almost two hours on the phone yesterday. Trying to find a garage to repair my car. Eventually I had to have it towed to a garage in another town.

　　2. She was at first very happy with the blue sports car she bought for only $500. Not realizing until a week later that the car averaged 7 miles a gallon of gas.

　　3. He looked forward to the study period at school. It being the only time he could sit unbothered and dream about his future. He imagined himself as a lawyer with lots of money and good women to spend it on.

　　How to Correct -ing Fragments

　　1. Attach the fragment to the sentence that comes before or after it, whichever makes sense. Selection 1 could read: "I spent two hours on the phone yesterday, trying to find a garage to repair my car.

　　2. Add a subject and change the -ing verb part to the correct fom1 of t he verb. Selection 2 could read: "She realized only a week later that the car averaged 7 miles a gallon of gas. "

　　3. Change being to the correct form of the verb be (am, are, is, was, were). Selection 3 could read: "It was the only time he could sit un-bothered and dream about his future. "

　　How to Correct to Fragments

　　When to appears at or near the start of a word group, a fragment sometimes results:

　　I plan on Working overtime. To get this job finished. Otherwise, my boss may get angry at me.

　　The second word group is a fragment and can be corrected by adding it to the preceding sentence:

　　I plan on working overtime to get this job finished.

　　3. Added-Detail Fragments

　　Added-detail fragments lack a subject and/or a verb. They often begin with one of the following words:

　　for example, also, except, such as. including, especially

　　See if you can locate and underline the added-detail fragment in each of the selections that follow:

　　1.Clyderead in a consumer magazine that the ingredients in many cold medicines do not help a cold. Except for the aspirin in them. He could buy aspirin by himself at a much lower price.

　　2. The class often starts late. For example. yesterday at quarter after nine, instead of at nine sharp.

　　3. He failed a number of courses before he earned his degree. Among them, English I, Economics, and General Biology.

　　People often write added-detail fragments for much the same reason they write -ing fragments. They think the subject and verb in one sentence will serve for the next word group as well. But the subject and verb must be in each word group.

　　How to Correct Added-Detail Fragments

　　1. Attach the fragment to the complete thought that precedes it. Selection 1 could read: "Clyderead in a consumer magazine that the ingredients in many cold medicines do not help a cold, except for the aspirin in them.”

　　2. Add a subject and a verb to the fragment to make it a complete sentence. Selection 2 could read: "The class often starts late. For example, yesterday it began at quarter after nine instead of at nine sharp. "

　　3. Change words as necessary to make the fragment part of the preceding sentence. Selection 3 could read: "Among the courses he failed before he earned his degree were English 1, Economics, and General Biology. "

　　4. Missing-Subject Fragments

　　Underline the word group in which the subject is missing in each selection below.

　　1. One example of my father's generosity is that he visits sick friends in the hospital. And takes along get-well cards with a few dollars folded in them.

　　2. Sarah looked with admiration at the stunningly attractive model and wondered how the model looked upon waking up in the morning.

　　How to Correct Missing-Subject Fragments

　　1. Attach the fragment to the preceding sentence. Selection 1 could read: "One example of my father's generosity is that he visit sick friends in the hospital and takes along get-well cards with a few dollars folded in them. "

　　2. Add a subject (which can often be a pronoun standing for the subject in the preceding sentence). Selection 2 could read: "She wondered how the' model looked upon waking up in the morning. "

　　C. Faulty Parallelism

　　By placing two or more ideas of equal value in the same grammatical form will enable us to express these ideas clearly and emphatically. However, to position parallel ideas properly, we must pay close attention to the logic of grammatical relationship.

　　1. Correcting Faulty Coordination

　　When word groups are linked by a coordinating conjunction, they should each have the same grammatical construction. Consider the parallel structure of the following word groups:

　　Her office is small, chilly and dirty. (parallel adjectives)

　　I enjoy football and hockey. (parallel nouns)

　　Our dog ran across the lawn and under the hedge. (parallel phrases)

　　We requested that he sing our favorite songs and he allow us to record them. (parallel clauses)

　　I want to learn English, and she wants to learn French. (parallel sentences)

　　Notice how awkward sentences look and sound when they contain unequal elements:

　　She works diligently and at night.

　　He spends a great deal of money and foolishly.

　　I was told to report to the supervisor and that I should bring my tools.

　　Two very common types of error in coordination involves the use of (and who and and which construction and the use of correlative conjunctions.

　　a. and Who / and Which Construction

　　And who / and which construction is one of the most common yet most serious errors made by the students, for it results in an illogical link between dependent and independent clauses. To avoid this error, follow this rule: Never use and who or and which clauses unless they are preceded by who or which clauses.

　　FAULTY Tom Clark, who is wise and intelligent, and who is our union representative, has been promoted to foreman.

　　CORRECTED Tom Clark, who is wise and intelligent and who is our union representative, has been promoted to foreman.

　　FAULTY James Joyce's Ulysses, a long and complicated novel and which is on our reading list, has been banned by the school board.

　　CORRECTED James Joyce's Ulysses, which is a long and complicated novel, and which is on our reading list, has been banned by the school board.

　　b. Correlative Conjunctions

　　Correlative conjunctions are always used in pairs: either ... or; neither ... nor; not only ... but also; both ... and. Because they are used to compare and contrast similar statements, each part of the conjunction must be followed by the same grammatical conjunction. The proper use of correlative conjunctions will enable us to write clear, well-balanced sentences.

　　Unbalanced He wants either to study English study World History.

　　Balanced He wants to study either English World History.

　　Unbalanced Our new car not only is more economical but also it is more comfortable than our old one.

　　Balanced Our new car is not only more economical but also more comfortable than our old one.

　　2. Making a Series of Parallels

　　When words or groups of words are placed in a series, they must be parallel in both meaning and structure. Observe how the proper use of parallel tightens the sentence structure and clarifies the meaning.

　　FAULTY When we arrived home, we unpacked our suitcases, took showers, and then we went to sleep after eating our lunch.

　　REVISED When we arrived home, we unpacked our suitcases, took showers, ate our lunch, and went to sleep.

　　FAULTY Many people choose air transportation because it is fast, offers convenience, and it is not very expensive.

　　REVISED Many people choose air transportation because it is fast, convenient, and inexpensive.

　　FAULTY You should strive to cooperate with your colleagues to bring about change, for improving communication and professional development

　　REVISED You should strive to cooperate with your colleagues to, bring about change, to improve communication, and to further professional development.

　　3. Watching Incorrect Omissions

　　By omitting essential words in a parallel construction, you force one word to serve the grammatical requirements of two different statements.

　　One of the most common errors of omission in student writing occurs in the has / have, will, shall constructions.

　　Examples:

　　He always has and always will compete for the highest honor.

　　I always have and always shall practice diligently.

　　To correct this type of omission error, test the verb with each of its auxiliary words; if it appears in the wrong tense, the construction is unparalleled.

　　CORRECTION He has always competed (not compete) and always will compete (not competed) for the highest honor.

　　I have always practiced (not practice) diligently and always shall. (Practice is understood. )

　　4. Comparisons Using than or as

　　When than or as are used to join parallel constructions, make sure that the things or ideas they compare are logically and grammatically alike.

　　ILLOGICAL The students attending our school are more intelligent than your school. (Compare people students, that is, to a thing — a building.)

　　LOGICAL The students attending our school are more intelligent than the students attending your school.

　　ILLOGICAL His learning is as extensive as Paul. (Compare an abstract quality — learning, to a proper noun — Paul)

　　LOGICAL His learning is as extensive as Paul's learning. (Or simply Paul's)

　　D. Misplaced Modifiers

　　Misplaced modifiers are words that, because of awkward placement, do not describe the words the writer intended them to describe. Misplaced modifiers often confuse the meaning of a sentence. To avoid this problem, place modifiers as close as possible to what they modify.

　　Also Important

　　1. When using modifiers like only, just, almost, and nearly, try to place them as close as possible to the words they modify and generally before them.

　　Examples:

　　MISPLACED Claudia mentioned the operation she had had in the elevator.

　　(Did she have the operation in the elevator? )

　　STANDARD In the elevator, Claudia mentioned the operation she had had.

　　MISPLACED She read a poem to the class that didn't seem to make any sense.

　　(The class didn't seem to make any sense.

　　STANDARD She read to the class a poem that didn’t seem to make any sense.

　　2. Adverbial phrases and clauses that tell when, where or how may, without risk, be put at the beginning of sentences, even though they may be some distance from the verbs they modify. To begin your sentences, now and then in this way, provides a refreshing change from too many subject-first sentences.

　　Example:

　　WHEN As graduation approached, I began to study college catalogues.

　　WHERE At the top of the mountain, the wind is always strong.

　　HOW With lightning speed, Mother finished the household chores and began her writing.

　　3. The beginning of a sentence is often a good place, too, for a troublesome adverbial modifier that seems to fit in nowhere else.

　　Example:

　　MISPLACED I got on a bus that 'was going to theBallParkby mistake.

　　We would normally put by mistake after bus. In this sentence, however, such an arrangement would be awkward and confusing.

　　AWKWARD I got on a bus by mistake that was going to theBallPark.

　　Placing the phrase at the beginning of the sentence solves the problem.

　　CLEAR By mistake, I got on a bus that was going to theBallPark.

　　4. Almost any modifier can be misplaced if there are two or more words in the sentence to which it could possibly attach itself. Consider the following errors:

　　Examples:

　　MISPLACED The old man walked into the lamp post going to the optician.

　　(Who has bad eyesight, the old man or the lamp post?)

　　CORRECTED While going to the optician, the old man bumped into the lamp post.

　　Or

　　Going to the optician, the old man bumped into the lamp post.

　　MISPLACED The performers danced while we joined hands with gusto.

　　(Who is gusto?)

　　CORRECTED The performers danced with joined hands.

　　5. Watch out for dependent clauses beginning with which or that; make sure they immediately follow the word they modify.

　　Examples:

　　MISPLACED He crossed the stream ill a canoe, which was recently stocked with fish.

　　CORRECTED In a canoe, he crossed the stream, which was recently stocked with fish.

　　MISPLACED The football game was played in our stadium that was full of excitement.

　　CORRECTED The football game that was full of excitement was played in our stadium.

　　6. Do not make the sentence ambiguous by placing your modifier in such a way that it could modify either of two parts of a sentence.

　　Example:

　　MISPLACED Students who study often get good grades.

　　(Does often modify study or get good grades?)

　　CORRECTED Students who often study get good grades.

　　Or

　　Students who study get good grades often.

　　E. Dangling Modifiers

　　Whenever we use a phrase or a clause that refers to a specific word, make sure we arrange the sentences so that the reader knows how the word and, its modifier are attached. If we fail to relate clearly the modifier to the word modified, the reader will become confused and may lose interest in what we have to say.

　　A dangling modifier is a phrase or an elliptical clause (a clause without a subject or verb or both) that is illogically separated from the word it modifies. Thus it appears disconnected from the rest of the sentence. Here are a few examples of dangling constructions:

　　-ing Phrase Going through. a red light, the traffic police on duty stopped him.

　　-ing Phrase Approaching the guard rail onLookoutMountain, a vast expanse of farmland could be seen.

　　(Who or What approached the guard rail?)

　　Infinitive Phrase To appreciate the English language, reading must be done.

　　(Who must read?)

　　Prepositional Phrase After four weeks at sea, my wife was happy to see me.

　　(Who was at the sea?)

　　Elliptical Clause When on the top floor of the tall building, the cars looked like tiny fish in a stream.

　　(Where are the cars? Where is the speaker?)

　　How to Correct Dangling Modifiers

　　To correct dangling modifiers, we must reword the entire sentence; unlike misplaced modifiers, the error of dangling constructions cannot be corrected by shifting one or two words around. Study the two methods of correction that follow.

　　1. By locating its implied subject (by asking ourselves who or what is responsible for the action), and then making it the stated subject of the main clause.

　　Examples:

　　DANGLING After three hours of practice, a large mug of beer was what the thirsty dancers wanted.

　　(Who was / were practicing?)

　　REVISED After practicing for three hours, the thirsty dancers wanted a large mug of beer.

　　DANGLING Before submitting any written work, careful proofreading must be done.

　　(Who must submit the work?)

　　REVISED Before submitting any written work, you must carefully proofread it.

　　2. By expanding the dangling phrases or elliptical clause into a full dependent clause.

　　Examples:

　　DANGLING Watching the parade, my wallet was stolen.

　　REVISED While I was watching the parade, my wallet was stolen.

　　DANGLING Although tired and hungry, the drill sergeant would not let us rest.

　　REVISED Although we were tired and hungry, the drill sergeant would not let us rest.

　　Here are some sentences with dangling modifiers. Study the explanations of why they are dangling and look carefully at the ways they are corrected.

　　DANGLING Swimming at the lake, a rock cut Jim's foot.

　　(Who was swimming at the lake? The answer is not rock but Jim. The subject Jim must be added. )

　　CORRECTED Swimming in the lake, Jim cut his foot on a rock.

　　Or

　　When Jim was swimming at the lake, he cut his foot on a rock.

　　DANGLING While eating my sandwich, five mosquitoes bit me.

　　(Who is eating the sandwich? The answer is not five mosquitoes, as it unintentionally seems to be, but I. The subject I must be added. )

　　CORRECTED While I was eating my sandwich, five mosquitoes bit me.

　　Or

　　While eating my sandwich, I was bitten by five mosquitoes.

　　DANGLING Getting out of bed, the tile floor was so cold that Maria shivered all over.

　　(Who got out of bed? The answer is not the tile floor but Maria. The subject Maria must be added. )

　　CORRECTED Getting out of bed, Maria found the tile floor so cold that she shivered all over.

　　Or

　　When Maria got out of bed, the tile floor was so cold that she shivered all over.

　　DANGLING To join the team, a C average or better i5 necessary.

　　(Who is to join the team? The answer is not C average but you. The subject you must be added. )

　　CORRECTED To join the team, you must have a C average or better.

　　Or

　　For you to join the team, a C average or better is necessary.

　　Topics for Discussion (討論題):

　　What are those common errors in English writing?How can we avoid those errors?What is the most distinctive difference between a dangling modifier and a set phrase?

　　III. Correct Sentences

　　All kinds of writing are made up of sentences. If we want to write well, we should learn to write correct and good sentences. In this section, we shall talk about the requirements of a correct sentence.

　　There are at least these requirements: 1) it should be structurally complete: 2) it should begin with a capital letter; 3) it should end with a full stop, or a question mark, or an exclamation mark; and 4) it should express a single complete idea.

　　A. Completeness in Structure

　　The following sentences are all correct:

　　She came.

　　John is a good carpenter.

　　The students use these dictionaries every day.

　　He didn't know what had happened and was going to ask Mr. Smith, who was usually well informed.

　　They are correct because they are complete in structure: each has a subject and a predicate verb (the last sentence is a complex one with a main clause and subordinate clauses) and also because each begins with a capital letter and ends with a full stop.

　　Here are a few incorrect sentences. Let us examine them and find out where they are wrong.

　　x How to operate this computer?

　　x Have lost my key.

　　x Because he hadn't finished his assignment, so he continued working in the classroom.

　　x The old man returning home after eight years' absence to find that all the neighbors he had known were no longer there.

　　x Mark Twain whose experience as a sailor on theMississippiprovided him with abundant material for the novels he was to write.

　　The first example, a question, is not complete in structure. It has no subject or predicate verb, which are the two necessary elements of a normal sentence. To make it complete, we have to supply it with a subject and turn the infinitive phrase (to operate) into a predicate verb:

　　How do you operate this computer?

　　How should this computer be operated?

　　The second sentence is wrong because it has no subject. The pronoun I has to be used as the subject;

　　I have lost my key.

　　The third sentence is wrong because it has no main clause: the fIrst part is an adverbial clause introduced by because and the second part is a coordinate clause beginning with so. One of these two words has to be left out;

　　He continued working in the classroom because he hadn't finished his assignment.

　　He hadn't finished his assignment, so he continued working in the classroom.

　　The fourth and fifth sentences are both very long, but they are not grammatically complete, because there is no predicate verb in either of them. One way of improving them is:

　　The old man returned home after eight years' absence to find that all the neighbors he had known were no longer there.

　　Mark Twain's experience as a sailor on theMississippiprovided him with abundant material for the novels he was to write.

　　With returned and provided turned into predicate verbs, the two sentences are made complete.

　　So let us remember that a normal sentence must contain a subject and a predicate verb.

　　Sometimes a noun with some modifying words (a one-member sentence), or a clause, or a sentence with some elements missing (an elliptical sentence) may be used like a complete sentence for special effect. This will be discussed later.

　　B. The Right Subject

　　Here are a few more wrong sentences:

　　x On entering the classroom, the students stood up and said, "Good morning!"

　　x After finishing her composition, the translation exercise was taken up.

　　x Hurrying to the conference room, no one was there.

　　x Returning home after work, supper was waiting for him in the kitchen.

　　x To look at a map, the importance of this new railway will be seen.

　　In these five sentences the subjects are not properly related to the gerunds, participles or infinitive in the first parts of the sentences. Therefore they are wrong subjects. Judging by the meaning of the first sentence, it is not the students but the teacher who entered the classroom, so the subject should be changed. The next four sentences are wrong in a similar way. Improved versions follow:

　　On entering the classroom, the teacher was greeted by the students, who stood up and said, "Good morning!"

　　After finishing her composition, she took up the translation exercise.

　　Hurrying to the conference room, she saw nobody there.

　　Returning home from work, he saw supper waiting for him in the kitchen.

　　You have only to look at a map to see the importance of this new railway.

　　We have kept the nonfinite verbs and changed the subjects in the original sentences. It is also possible to improve the sentences in other ways. These sentences show that the subject of a sentence should be properly related to the nonfinite verbs before it.

　　C. Agreement Between the Subject and the Predicate Verb

　　We all know the simple rule that the predicate verb of a sentence has to agree with the subject in person and number, such as a third-person singular subject takes a predicate verb with -s if the verb is in the present tense. There may be problems when the number of the subject is not easy to determine.

　　His whole family is/are here with him.

　　The majority of the students taking this exam is/are girls.

　　These cattle belong/belongs to that ranch.

　　There is/are an enormous audience in the hall.

　　The audience was/were shocked by the scenes of violence in the film.

　　Collective nouns like family and audience may be either singular or plural, depending on the meaning in which they are used. If you think of family, government, etc. as one whole, a singular verb is needed. If you think of family, government, etc. as made up of a number of people, a plural verb is needed. Plural verbs should be used in all the above sentences except the fourth one, where audience is spoken of as a whole.

　　There is fare a lot of important news in today's newspaper.

　　Mathematics is/are extremely interesting to him.

　　All the people in the room is/are enjoying his funny stories.

　　The police has/have begun making inquiries about the case.

　　The number of doctors among the teachers of the school is/are very small.

　　A number of doctors are teaching at this university.

　　Some words, like news and names of branches of learning, are uncountable, and therefore are always singular; some words, like people and police, are always plural. The number is the subject of the sentence, so the verb should be singular; a number of is a modifier like many, and the real subject is doctors, so the verb should be plural.

　　There is/are an old worker and three young men doing the job today.

　　Either you or I are/am to take up the work.

　　When two subjects refer to different persons or are different in number, the verb should agree with the subject close to it. In the above sentences is and am are correct.

　　John, together with two assistants, is/are repairing the machine.

　　Besides Smith, William is/are going to speak at the meeting.

　　Words after together with, in addition to, besides, etc., are objects of prepositions; they do not affect the number of the subject. So the singular verbs are correct in the two sentences above.

　　Where I can put all these books is/are a problem.

　　What I want is/are only three meals a day.

　　A subject clause generally takes a singular verb, but a what-clause which clearly refers to many things can take a plural verb:

　　What she has bought are atlases and maps of various countries.

　　D. Clear Pronoun Reference

　　We use personal pronouns very often. They seem to be easy, but they should be used with care. Here are a few sentences in which the pronouns do not have clear reference:

　　I'm going to the talk on jazz music for he is a well-known composer.

　　Leave out the word in that sentence because it is too difficult.

　　She told my sister that her idea was practicable.

　　Everybody should return the books he has borrowed within a week.

　　In the first sentence the pronoun he has no antecedent, because no person has been mentioned. The noun speaker should be used instead of the pronoun. In the second sentence there are two nouns before the pronoun it, and the reader is not sure which is too difficult, the word or the sentence. One way of recasting the sentence is to omit in that sentence if the word is too difficult. Another way is:

　　Leave out the word because with it the sentence would be too difficult.

　　Two women are mentioned in the third sentence (she and my sister). This makes the reference of her unclear. Either her own or my sister's can be used. The subject of the fourth sentence is everybody, which may refer to both men and women, so the pronoun he is not suitable. They is a better word; the more formal phrase he or she can also be used.

　　Relative pronouns should also be used carefully. We should avoid making sentences like the following:

　　She put many toys into her bag, which she was to give to the children in the kindergarten.

　　He is the man recommended by Mr. Smith who knows how to fix cars.

　　In the first sentence the word bag seems to be the antecedent of which as it is close to the relative pronoun, but the real antecedent should be toys. In the second sentence who may stand for either Mr. Smith or the man. The ambiguity in these two sentences may be removed in the following way:

　　She put into her bag many toys, which she was to give to the children in the kindergarten.

　　He has been recommended by Mr. Smith as a man who knows how to fix cars.

　　If the speaker means that Mr. Smith knows how to fix cars, the sentence can be reworded in this way:

　　Mr. Smith, who knows how to fix cars, has recommended him.

　　In short, when we use personal and relative pronouns, we should make sure that their reference is clear.

　　E. Ending Sentences with Full Stops

　　Here is a long sentence:

　　I set out for the biggest bookstore in town, at the school gate I saw a girl of my class, she was going there, too, we decided to go together, we walked, the bookstore was not far away.

　　In fact, this is not one long sentence, but a series of short sentences: there are six of them. When a sentence is structurally complete, whether long or short, it should end with a full stop. So the six sentences should be punctuated like this:

　　I set out for the biggest bookstore in town. At the school gate I saw a girl of my class.

　　She was going there, too. We decided to go together. We walked. The bookstore was not far away.

　　To join two or more complete sentences with commas may be possible in Chinese, but it is wrong in English. There is a name for such a mistake: the comma fault or the comma splice. We should remember that a complete declarative sentence always ends with a full stop.

　　F. Joining Clauses with Conjunctions

　　When two or more sentences are closely connected in meaning, it may be better to put them into one sentence than separate them. Then those sentences will become clauses which should be joined together with proper conjunctions or other words, like relative pronouns.

　　We should learn to distinguish between conjunctions and adverbs, such as but and however, so and therefore. We can join coordinate clauses with a comma and a conjunction, or with a semicolon, or with a semicolon and an adverb:

　　She enjoys listening to pop music, but her sister doesn't.

　　She enjoys listening to pop music; her sister, however, likes classical music better. She enjoys listening to pop music; however, her sister doesn't like it.

　　In the following sentences the commas should be replaced with semicolons:

　　She speaks English fluently, moreover, she speaks French quite well.

　　The plans for the building are not yet ready, therefore the construction cannot start very soon.

　　It is wrong to use commas in these two sentences because moreover and therefore are adverbs, not conjunctions.

　　G. A Main Clause in a Complex Sentence

　　In a complex sentence there must be a main clause, whether it is at the beginning, in the middle or at the end of the sentence:

　　He would come to see me whenever he was in this city.

　　When she heard the explosion, she called me immediately to ask what had happened.

　　Not until the meeting had come to an end did they realize the seriousness of the problem discussed.

　　There is a main clause in each of the above three sentences.

　　Because he had not heard about that important decision.

　　Whatever the director said at the conference.

　　The man we could find for the job.

　　These are not complete sentences because they are only adverbial, subject (or object), or attributive clauses, while the main clauses are missing. In certain contexts, such as a conversation, a clause may be treated as a complete sentence, when a part of the sentence has been said by another person, e.g.

　　"Why hasn't Mr. Brown said anything?"

　　"Because he doesn't speak Russian."

　　The main clause of the answer (Mr. Brown hasn't said anything) is understood.

　　H. Proper Use of Comparisons

　　Adjectives or adverbs of the comparative degree should be used only when there is a comparison. They are rightly used in the following sentences:

　　His latest novel is more interesting than all his earlier works.

　　She speaks better than she writes.

　　He talks more than he does.

　　Sometimes a comparison is implied:

　　Most of his poems are difficult to understand. This one is not easier.

　　The meaning of the second sentence is quite clear: this poem is not easier than his other poems.

　　But we should not use adjectives or adverbs of the comparative degree when there is no comparison, explicit or implied, like the following:

　　He is a better student. (He is a good student/a fairly good student.)

　　This text is easier. (This text is fairly easy/quite easy.).

　　In addition, we should remember that only things of the same kind can be compared. The following comparisons are not logical:

　　Her English is much better than I.

　　The language of Henry James is more elaborate than Ernest Hemingway.

　　Mine should have been used instead of I in the first sentence and that of put before Ernest Hemingway in the second.

　　I. Correct Use of the Tenses

　　Since a predicate verb must be used in a certain tense, we should learn to use the tenses correctly. Whenever we make a sentence, we should ask ourselves when the thing mentioned in the sentence happens, and use the right tense to report it. Perhaps the perfect tenses are more difficult than the other tenses and deserve greater attention.

　　When we talk: about something that happened in the past, even a few minutes ago, we should use the simple past tense. When we talk: about something that happened in the past, but its result remains at present, we should use the present perfect.

　　Compare:

　　I went to the book exhibition yesterday.

　　I have been to the book exhibition.

　　The first sentence tells the listener the time when the speaker went to the exhibition, while the second sentence means that the speaker knows what the exhibition is like and perhaps he or she does not want to go there again. In the following sentences there are tense mistakes:

　　x We have revised our work plan last night.

　　x They changed their timetable and they are working according to it .

　　x This is his latest novel. Did you read it?

　　x We are going to the Great Wall. Did you ever go there?

　　x He has been a friend of mine for a few years, but we are no longer in touch.

　　The simple past tense should have been used in the first and last sentences, and the present perfect in the others (revised, have changed, have you read, have you ever been, was a friend).

　　x I have read the book for several days and will finish it tonight.

　　x She has done the work alone and is still doing it.

　　The present perfect continuous should have been used in the above two sentences because they refer to things that are still going on ( have been reading, has been doing ).

　　Sometimes we fail to use the past perfect when we should. Here are examples:

　　x He visited all the historical monuments he wanted to see for a long time.

　　x She was appointed principal of the school because she studied education and taught for many years.

　　The past perfect tense should have been used in the attributive clause in the first sentence (he had wanted to see) and in the adverbial clause in the second (because she had studied ... and taught ...).

　　So far we have been talking about the requirements of correct sentences and a few common mistakes. There are of course many other types of mistake. The best way to deal with them is to review grammar and study the entries we are not clear about in a dictionary, and observe the uses of words, expressions and structures when we are reading a well-written book. In other words, while we are learning new things, we can discover and correct our old mistakes. The fourth requirement of a sentence (completeness and singleness in meaning) will be discussed in the section on effective sentences.

　　Topics for Discussion (討論題):

　　1. What are those essential requirements of a correct English sentence?

　　2. How can we avoid tense errors in writing?

　　IV. Coordination and Subordination

　　When we mention two or more things or ideas of equal importance, we often use coordinate clauses joined with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, yet, so, or for). This form or method is called coordination. When we express an important idea in a main clause and one or more less important ideas in subordinate clauses, we are using the method of subordination. It is clear that the choice of coordination or subordination is mainly decided by the relationship between the ideas to be expressed. In each of the following sentences more than one fact or idea is mentioned. Let us see whether coordination is preferable to subordination or the other way round.

　　This rich man went to church every Sunday, and he never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood.

　　This rich man went to church every Sunday, but he never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood.

　　Although he was rich and went to church every Sunday, he never donated a cent for the benefit of his neighborhood.

　　When we compare these three sentences, we feel that the second, with but, is stronger than the first, and the third may be the best one, for there the main idea is expressed in the main clause and is emphasized.

　　Although he went on talking as if he would never stop, no one was listening to him. He went on talking as if he would never stop, but no one was listening to him.

　　He talked and talked, and it seemed that he would never stop, but no one was listening to him.

　　Here coordination may be better than subordination, for in a compound sentence all the three ideas get equal emphasis.

　　There is one thing we should pay attention to: the use of conjunctive adverbs such as however, therefore, nevertheless, moreover, and besides. As these words are not conjunctions, they are used after a conjunction or a semicolon (not a comma) to join clauses:

　　He is an eloquent speaker; however, he lacks depth.

　　Neither manpower nor raw material was sufficient, and therefore the progress of the work was slower than expected.

　　She is deeply interested in European art; moreover, she is fond of classical

　　Western music.

　　Here is a group of short sentences:

　　I waked up at 6:30. I thought I was late. I washed quickly. Then I went into the kitchen. I found something to eat. I finished eating in a few minutes. I took my bike and hurried out. I rode very fast along the streets. Soon I was at the school gate. But it was closed. Then I realized that it was Saturday.

　　When we read these short sentences, we feel that, though they describe things clearly, they are choppy and not very impressive. Here are two different versions:

　　I waked up at 6:30. Thinking that I would be late for school, I washed quickly, went into the kitchen, and found something to eat. Then I hurried out with my bike. I rode as fast as I could along the streets, and soon got to the school gate, but it was closed. Only then did I realize that it was Saturday.

　　It was already 6:30 when I waked up. Thinking that I would be late for school, I washed and ate something in a hurry, got on my bike and set out for school. On the streets I rode as fast as I could, and in no time I was at the school gate, only to find it closed. Then I remembered that it was Saturday.

　　In these two versions some sentences are combined by way of coordination or subordination, and the total effect may be better than that of the original passage, because they give the reader the feeling of haste and urgency.

　　In the new versions not only clauses, but also parallel predicate verbs and participial and infinitive phrases are used in place of sentences. This shows that coordinating and subordinating are not the only ways of combining sentences. Sometimes complete sentences may be turned into phrases or single verbs without loss in meaning.

　　Here is another passage made up of short sentences:

　　I like reading novels. They often tell me interesting and moving stories. Some stories are also instructive. They describe good and evil people. They describe the bright side and the dark side of life. They help me distinguish between right and wrong. In this way they have helped me to understand people and life.

　　As a result, I seem to have become wiser.

　　Now let us try to combine some of the sentences and at the same time make important ideas prominent:

　　I like reading novels because they tell interesting and moving stories. Moreover, some stories are instructive. By describing good and evil people, and the bright side and the dark side of life, such stories help me to distinguish between right and wrong, and understand people and life. Reading them has perhaps made me wiser.

　　This new version is perhaps more compact than the original, and its main idea (what the writer has learned from novels) is made more prominent. Two of the original short sentences are not merged with others (the third and the last one), This is because they express very important ideas, and short sentences are generally emphatic.

　　Short sentences are not only emphatic, but effective in describing a series of quick movements and actions (see next section). Generally speaking, both short and long sentences should be used; using one type of sentences continuously would be monotonous.

　　Topics for Discussion (討論題):

　　How can sentences be combined?2. What is the basic difference between coordination and subordination?

　　V. Effective Sentences

　　A correct sentence may not express the idea it intends to express very clearly or forcefully. Correctness alone cannot make a good sentence. It has to be effective at the same time. Effective sentences have some or all of the following qualities: unity, coherence, conciseness, emphasis, and variety.

　　A. Unity

　　Unity refers to two qualities: there is only one main idea in a sentence, and that idea is complete.

　　This does not mean that all sentences have to be short and simple. It is often necessary to write a long sentence with many parts in it. Such a sentence expresses a central idea supported or modified by various subordinate ideas, or two or more related parallel ideas. In other words, ideas that are closely connected can be expressed in one sentence, while ideas that are not closely connected should not be put into one sentence.

　　The explorer who has just returned from the Antarctic is busy writing reports on his adventures on that ice-covered continent, where he did not see any animals except penguins.

　　This is a long sentence with many parts, including two clauses. It has one central idea (the explorer is writing reports on his adventures in the Antarctic) and all the other ideas are related to this central idea.

　　Here is a short sentence:

　　Born inSichuanProvince, he later became a famous writer.

　　This is a correct but not a good sentence, because the two facts mentioned in it are not logically connected: a man born inSichuanis not certain to become a famous writer. We can say that the sentence lacks unity. To make the meaning clear, we have to say something about his education and work experience that helped to make him a famous writer.

　　He visited all the famous historical monuments of this ancient city, and he also found out that the people of the city had to pay heavy taxes.

　　Like the preceding sentence, this one contains two facts that have nothing to do with each other. They should have been stated in two separate sentences with some additional words to link them up.

　　Dream of the Red Mansions is the best-known novel.

　　This seems to be a correct sentence, but its meaning is not complete. "The best-known novel" should have been modified. The two sentences that follow are clearer:

　　Dream of the Red Mansions is one of the best-known classical Chinese novels.

　　Of all the Chinese novels written before the 20th century Dream of the Red Mansions is perhaps the most popular.

　　B. Coherence

　　Coherence means clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence. Since the meaning of English sentences mainly depends on word order, the arrangement of the parts of a sentence is especially important to accurate expression of ideas. A coherent sentence is easy to understand and its meaning cannot be mistaken, because the connection between its words conforms to grammar rules and usage. An incoherent sentence is often hard to understand, and may be interpreted in different ways. Many of the sentences given in the first section of this chapter are considered wrong because they are incoherent.

　　Here are a few rules of thumb which may help to prevent incoherence:

　　a. Do not separate words that are closely related unless it is necessary;

　　b. Do not use a pronoun with ambiguous reference;

　　c. Do not use a dangling modifier or put a modifier far from the word it modifies;

　　d. Do not make unnecessary or confusing shifts" in person or number;

　　e. Do not make unnecessary changes in the voice, tense or mood of verbs; and

　　f. Do not use different forms to express parallel ideas.

　　Examples will be given below to illustrate these rules.

　　Everyone is studying English in this school.

　　This sentence may imply that the school mentioned is the only place where people can study English. Perhaps the speaker means that everyone in this school is studying English. So in this school is an attribute modifying the subject instead of an adverbial modifying the verb. The phrase should have been placed immediately after the subject. Its position determines its function.

　　Mrs. Green said to her sister that she had done the right thing.

　　We do not know who had done the right thing, Mrs. Green or her sister, and the ambiguity comes from the pronoun she. The meaning would have been clear if the following sentences had been used:

　　Mrs. Green said to her sister, “You have done the right thing."

　　Mrs. Green said to her sister, "I have done the right thing."

　　Mrs. Green thought that her sister had done the right thing and said so to her. Mrs. Green said to her sister that she herself had done the right thing.

　　Here are two sentences with dangling modifiers:

　　Looking out of the window, only dull grey buildings can be seen.

　　After studying Lesson Ten the mid-term test was given to us.

　　A participial phrase expresses an action done by the person or thing denoted by the noun it modifies. In the first sentence looking should be the action of the subject (buildings), but buildings cannot look, so the participial phrase is a dangling modifier. A gerund also expresses an action of the person or thing denoted by the word to which it is related. In the second sentence studying is related to test, but a test cannot study, so the phrase After studying ... is also a dangling modifier. One way of revising the two sentences is:

　　Looking out of the window, I (or any other person) can see only dull grey buildings.

　　After studying Lesson Ten, we had the mid-term test.

　　A modifier should be placed as close as possible to the word it modifies. If they are far from each other, misunderstanding may arise.

　　The funny cartoon attracts the reader's eye on the cover of the magazine.

　　The doctor promised on her way to her hospital to come and see me.

　　The weaknesses of the two sentences are obvious, and they can be easily corrected:

　　The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye.

　　The doctor promised to come and see me on her way to her hospital.

　　In the following sentences there are confusing shifts in person and number:

　　Those who want to join the chorus should sign your name on this sheet of paper. (Your name should be changed to their names.)

　　He looks up difficult words in his dictionaries, and it is very helpful.

　　(It is should be changed to they are.)

　　Similarly, we should also be careful when we make changes in tense, voice and mood:

　　The explosion destroyed the building and a number of people were injured.

　　A lot of higher houses were built around hers in the past few years and she gets no more sunlight.

　　Although the two sentences are correct, the changes in voice and tense make them jerky. Putting the two verbs in the same voice and tense would be better:

　　The explosion destroyed the building and injured a number of people;

　　or

　　In the explosion the building was destroyed and a number of people injured.

　　A lot of higher buildings have been built around hers in recent years and as a result she gets no more sunlight; or

　　A lot of higher buildings were built around hers and as a result she got no more sunlight.

　　Whether the present or the past tense should be chosen for the second sentence depends on the time to be emphasized.

　　Wherever possible, parallel ideas should be expressed in parallel constructions, which give the reader the feeling that the ideas are equally important.

　　The following are a few sentences that can be improved:

　　It is generally believed that one's action is more important than what one says.

　　The young man is honest and hardworking, and is a very reliable worker.

　　This composition is quite good as far as the use of language is concerned, but its content is poor.

　　Now let us try to express the parallel ideas in these sentences in parallel constructions:

　　It is generally believed that one's action is more important than one's words.

　　The young man is an honest, hardworking and reliable worker;

　　or

　　The young man is honest, hardworking and reliable.

　　This composition is good in language but poor in, content;

　　or

　　The language of this composition is quite good but its content is rather poor.

　　In short, coherence is essential to the accurate and clear expression of ideas. So it is a good habit to reread the sentences we have written to see whether they are coherent, and make necessary changes if they are not.

　　C. Conciseness

　　We write sentences to express ideas. The use of words in a sentence, therefore, is decided by the idea it expresses. Needless words do not help express ideas; on the contrary, they obscure the meaning and confuse the reader. So one of the rules of sentence-making is to use only the necessary words, or as few words as possible so long as the meaning is fully expressed.

　　But often we tend to put a superfluous word here and there in a sentence. This habit may come from the way we talk. It is common in speaking to repeat a word, use words of similar meaning together, and change words we have said and even the structure of a sentence in the middle of it. But we should not do so in writing. This is possible because when we write we have time to check what we have written and delete all the words that are not needed for the expression of ideas, or to make our sentences concise.

　　Here are a few hints for making concise and clear sentences:

　　a. Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun;

　　b. Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning, and use a phrase instead of a clause with the same meaning;

　　c. Do not repeat words or phrases, if possible, in a sentence or in one that follows; d. Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence;

　　e. Do not repeat the same idea in different sentences except for emphasis.

　　The following sentence is wordy and can be simplified:

　　In the month of May people of different professions from all circles in this city will hold meetings to elect representatives, and these representatives will go to Beijing, the capital, in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country.

　　In the month of May can be shortened to In May without any loss of meaning; of different professions and from all circles mean the same thing, so only one of them is needed; hold meetings can be omitted because it is not important; the important thing is that they will elect representatives; who can be used in place of these representatives; the capital can be omitted; nationaland from the whole country are synonymous, so the phrase can be deleted:

　　In May people of different professions in this city will elect representatives, who will attend a national congress of model workers inBeijingin October.

　　The number of words is reduced by half, but the meaning of the new sentence is the same as that of the original one.

　　Here is another example:

　　There are trees on all sides of the house, and the trees hide the house. People can hardly see the house from the outside.

　　A simpler version would be:

　　Surrounded by trees, the house can hardly be seen from the outside; or

　　The house, hidden behind trees, can hardly be seen from the outside.

　　Here is a paragraph about the life of Emily Dickinson:

　　Emily Dickinson was a famous woman poet of theUnited States. Her father was a lawyer. Emily was educated at an academy, and after she left the academy she entered a female seminary. She studied there for a year. Her life was quiet and peaceful, for she lived a quiet life at home. Besides, she was never married and remained single all her life. She had very few friends. But the few friends whom she had were well-educated intellectuals. She enjoyed writing poems, but she wrote poems in secret. She died when she was 56 years old. Before she died, no one knew she had written over 1 000 brilliant short poems.

　　On the whole the paragraph gives a clear account of the poet's life, but in many places it is wordy. There are sentences that can be combined and words that can be omitted. In the first sentence the word woman is not necessary, for Emily is a woman's name and the second sentence begins with Her. The two sentences about her education, though correct, are not concise; they can be combined and simplified: She was educated first at an academy and then for one year at a seminary. In the two sentences about her life the word quiet is needlessly used twice, and she was never married and remained single all her life only repeat the same idea in different words. Then the words few friends and writing poems are repeated. Intellectuals are well-educated people, so the word need not be modified by well-educated. The last two sentences can be combined as well.

　　Below is an improved version:

　　Emily Dickinson, the famous American poet, was a lawyer's daughter. She was educated first at an academy and then for one year at a female seminary. Her life was quiet and peaceful, for she lived at home all the time and was never married. She had a few well-educated friends, but they did not know she enjoyed writing poems, for she wrote them in secret. She died at 56. Only after her death was it known that she had

　　written over 1 000 brilliant short poems.

　　The new version is shorter by about 30 words and is more readable than the original passage. Besides, no information is missing in it.

　　The above examples show that our first drafts are likely to be wordy, and it is often possible to simplify some of the sentences in them or delete quite a few words from them, and this will clarify instead of obscuring the meaning. In fact, wordy sentences and redundant words can only make the meaning hazy and the main points inconspicuous. It is always necessary for us to reread what we have written and try to improve it by simplifying it and making it more concise.

　　D. Emphasis

　　When we talk, we emphasize an important idea by raising our voices or making a gesture. When we write, we also have ways to lay emphasis on certain words or phrases.

　　1. Placing

　　The end and the beginning of a sentence usually attract the reader's attention, so important elements of a sentence should be put at these two places, especially the end. Compare:

　　Spainis more interesting thanFrancein many ways, some foreign tourists say.

　　Some foreign tourists say thatSpainis more interesting thanFrancein many ways.

　　Spain, some foreign tourists say, is in many ways more interesting thanFrance.

　　In these sentences some foreign tourists say and in many ways are not important elements, and should not be put at the beginning or the end. The third sentence gives emphasis to the right words.

　　Only Qian Wen could have written such a nice essay, though there are fifty students in the class.

　　Of the fifty students in the class, no one could have written such a nice essay but Qian Wen.

　　If the person's name is to be stressed, the second sentence may be better than the first. Below is another example:

　　What was common to all these heroes was that they did not fear death, danger and hardships.

　　What was common to all these heroes was that they did not fear hardships, danger and death.

　　Of the three things they did not fear, death is the most important, and next to it, danger; so the order should be hardships, danger and death.

　　2. Climactic Sequence

　　In enumerating things or ideas, we should start from the least important and end with the most important, or in the climactic sequence. The arrangement of the three things in the preceding sentence is an example.

　　A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of wisdom, industry and efficiency.

　　This tourist group visited the Great Wall, theSummerPalace, thePalaceMuseum, and the Zoo while they were inBeijing.

　　He said he had lost interest in life, fame, position and money after that tragedy.

　　The sequence of the things mentioned is not impressive. The three sentences can be improved in the following way:

　　A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of industry, efficiency and wisdom.

　　This tourist group, while inBeijing, visited the Zoo, theSummerPalace, thePalaceMuseum, and the Great Wall.

　　He said after that tragedy he had lost interest in money. Position, fame, and even life.

　　3. The Use of Verbs in the Active Voice

　　Verbs are generally more emphatic than nouns or any other part of speech. Compare:

　　She made a decision that she would not take the job. She decided not to take the job.

　　The second sentence is shorter, clearer and more emphatic.

　　The active voice is more natural and emphatic than the passive.

　　Television was watched by the whole family in the evenings.

　　The whole family watched television in the evenings.

　　But when the receiver of an action is more important than the doer, the passive voice is preferable:

　　All the old buildings in this block have been pulled down and new houses will be built next year.

　　4. Subordination

　　We have talked about subordination and coordination. Subordinating a part of a sentence is a way of giving emphasis to the main idea in the sentence.

　　Compare:

　　The school library contains a large number of English books.

　　Fourth-year students often work in the school library, where there are a large number of English books.

　　In the first sentence the main idea is that the library has many English books. In the second sentence this is mentioned in a subordinate clause. This arrangement gives emphasis to the fact that fourth-year students often work in the library, and reduces the importance of there being many English books there.

　　Let us look at more examples:

　　A plane is wheeling over the city, producing a big noise that surprised the inhabitants.

　　Putting a pile of books on the counter, the librarian said to her, "Here are all the books on your topic."

　　In these two sentences the main points are emphasized, and the participial phrases express facts of only secondary importance, and the main parts of them gain emphasis.

　　5. Repeating Important Words

　　Repetition as a rule should be avoided, but occasionally important words can be repeated for the sake of emphasis:

　　Her spoken English is good; her written English is also good.

　　Two days ago he gave reasons for supporting the plan, and now he is giving reasons for opposing it. He always has reasons.

　　He was the first of his group to rush into a burning house to rescue an old lady, and he was also the first to jump into a river to save a drowning child.

　　It is clear that in these sentences the three repeated words (good, reasons, and first) are emphasized.

　　6. Short Sentences

　　Short sentences are often emphatic, especially after longer ones.

　　The speaker asked the audience what they thought were the main problems the city government was facing, and how these problems should or could be solved, and he eagerly waited for answers. No answer came.

　　The plot is confusing, the characters are very queer people, and the dialogue is hard to understand. A strange film.

　　The two short sentences in the above examples gain emphasis because they are short, and also because there is an abrupt change in sentence length. "A strange film" is a one-member sentence: it is only a part of a complete sentence ("It is a strange film.").

　　A series of short sentences used together express rapid movements or tension, and they are emphatic, too.

　　He wetted his clothes. With a wet towel over his head, he dashed into the burning house. The smoke choked him. He ran into a room on the second floor. The most important papers were there. He grasped them and jumped out of a window.

　　7. Balanced Sentences

　　A balanced sentence is one that consists of two parts of the same structure and roughly the same length, and with contrasted (or similar) ideas.

　　The gentleman values harmony, not uniformity; the small man values uniformity, not harmony: (Confucius)

　　He likes smoking; his wife hates it.

　　It is not easy to be like everyone else; it is harder to be different from everyone else.

　　8. Periodic Sentences

　　A periodic sentence is one that is not complete in structure or meaning until it reaches the last word, which is the most important word of the sentence.

　　She often said to he parents and friends that her greatest wish was to be an artist.

　　It is generally acknowledged that the sole criterion of truth is practice.

　　According to Taoism the universe was created by a mysterious force called Tao. He said for buying a house he had prepared everything but money.

　　The last word of each of the above sentences is obviously the most important point of the sentence, and it gains much emphasis because of its position and the structure. Let us compare a periodic sentence with a loose one, in which the main point is usually expressed at the beginning:

　　To be an artist was her greatest wish and she often talked about this with her parents and friends.

　　When we read this sentence we are not kept in suspense for the main meaning, as we are when reading the periodic one, and we feel its force is weaker. But the loose sentence may sound more natural and may be easier to understand.

　　9. Negative-Positive Statements

　　When a negative statement is followed by a positive one, the meaning is emphasized by the contrast:

　　He no longer wants money; he wants fame.

　　The poor design of the building shows that he is not an architect — he is only a builder.

　　He is not an ordinary scholar in this field; he is an authority.

　　10. Rhetorical Questions

　　They are questions in form but emphatic statements in meaning. They are not asked to be answered, for example:

　　Didn't I tell you not to come late?

　　What's the use of feeling sorry about the mistake? Correct it.

　　Isn't it beautiful weather?

　　They really mean (1) I did tell you not to come late and you forgot it; (2) it is no use feeling sorry about the mistake; and (3) it is indeed beautiful weather.

　　Besides what has been discussed, there are other ways of giving emphasis to words or sentences, such as the use of emphatic expressions such as above all, extremely, by far, It is... that..., exclamatory sentences, etc.

　　E. Variety

　　A series of sentences of the same structure and length with the same noun or pronoun as the subjects produce monotony. It is often good to vary sentence structures and mix short and long, simple and compound or complex, loose and periodic sentences, so long as the meaning is properly expressed.

　　Here is a paragraph that needs to be improved:

　　He was born in a small village. His father was a teacher in the village school. His mother did the housework. He began to go to his father's school at seven. He graduated from it six years later. Then he went to the junior middle school in a nearby town. He studied at a senior middle school in the county seat. He was a good student there. He got good marks at the college entrance examinations. He enrolled in a university in the provincial capital. He studied civil engineering there. He wanted to build a highway for his home village in future. He loved his village very much.

　　Although all the sentences are correct and clear, it sounds quite monotonous. There is no variety in sentence structure and length, and only two of the 12 sentences have different subjects, the rest all beginning with he. The following version may be better:

　　He was born in a small village. His father taught at the village school and his mother did the housework. He began to study at his father's school at seven and six years later entered the junior middle school in a nearby town. After graduating from it he was admitted to a senior middle school in the county seat, where he proved to be a good student. He took the national college entrance examinations, got good marks in most subjects, and was able to enroll in a university in the provincial capital. As a major in civil engineering, he cherished the dream of building a highway for his home village, which he dearly loved.

　　The next paragraph is monotonous in a different way: almost all the sentences are long and involved. The paragraph sounds too formal to suit the content, and the reader can hardly find a place to take a breath.

　　Born into a village teacher's family in a small village which was not marked on any map, Xiao Ming lived there until he graduated from the primary school where his father taught. After that he entered the junior middle school in a town about 20 Li from his home, and he stayed there on weekdays without going home though he was only a little boy. Thus he had to look after himself and learn to do such things as buying food for himself in the canteen and washing his own clothes. When he finished the three years' studies at this school, he moved further away from home to the county seat and studied at a senior middle school there for another three years and proved himself to be a good student. He took the national college entrance examinations and got high marks in most subjects, and because of this he was admitted to a university in the provincial capital. He decided to major in civil engineering, for one of his dreams was to build a highway for his village, which he dearly loved.

　　The paragraph would read better if some of the long sentences were broken up and if the compound and complex sentences were mingled with other types of sentences.

　　Xiao Ming was born in a small village which was not marked on any map. His father was a teacher in the village school. He never left the village until he graduated from that school and entered a junior middle school in a town 20 unfrom his home. On weekdays he had to live at school. Though still a little boy, he learned to look after himself - buying food in the canteen and washing his own clothes. Three years later he moved further away from home to the county seat, to study at a senior middle school there. He proved to be a good student. Having got good marks in most subjects in the national college entrance examinations, he entered a university in the provincial capital. He chose civil engineering as his major. For one of his dreams was to build a highway for his home village, which he dearly loved.

　　There are certainly other ways of improving this passage with the same aim: to give the sentences more variety. Now let us read a passage with different types of sentences and see how they work:

　　It is good that we produce energy and use machinery to take the burden of work from our shoulders, to warm us and cool us, to give us light, to transport us , and to make the things we eat, wear, and use. It is bad that in the process we pollute the world. Rivers and streams are becoming poisonous and lifeless. Birds are dying for lack of food. A noxious cloud is hanging over our cities that burns our lungs and reddens our eyes. Today pollution is a problem that draws the attention of all people, and effective measures are being taken to tackle it. The day will come when production is not accompanied by pollution.

　　In this paragraph there are short and long sentences, simple, compound and complex sentences, and parallel sentences. As a result, the ideas they express are quite impressive.

　　Experienced writers have the ability to use a variety of sentences to express their thoughts. Less experienced writers may use a few basic structures over and over, which can lead to monotonous writing style.

　　Just as a speaker can use voice and gesture to hold his audience and make his point, so the writer can use the rhetorical framework of the sentence for the same purpose. He can shorten or lengthen sentences, change from one sentence arrangement to another, repeat key words, and in other ways maintain the reader's interest and give force to important words and ideas.

　　To keep your reader's interest and express the varied thoughts and relationships in your mind, use a variety of sentence forms.

　　A. Modifying Phrases

　　There are many ways to vary your sentence structure for reader's interest and to express yourself most effectively. One way is by introducing your sentences with a phrase or by placing a phrase within a sentence after the word it modifies. A phrase is a modifying group of words that contains neither a subject nor a verb.

　　Here are some examples of sentences that use such phrases.

　　Behind the old refrigerator, I found' my favorite hair pin I lost two months ago.

　　Against the wishes of her husband, Maria took a vacation by herself.

　　I'm not going to stay with my mother from today until the end of the month.

　　Angered by his poor grades, Charles threw his English book out the window.

　　Driving to work on Monday, Helen saw a terrible accident.

　　As you see, the phrases in the example sentences provide information that is essential to the meaning of the sentences. They usually come directly before or after the word they modify. Some phrases begin with prepositions (including on, in, under, over, between, from, with, and by) and others with words ending in -ed and -ing that are commonly used as verbs.

　　B. Relative Pronouns

　　Another useful type of complex sentence involves clauses beginning with the relative pronouns who, whom, whose, which, and that. Relative pronouns differ from regular pronouns. (he, she, we, they, and so on) in their function. A relative pronoun directly follows the word it replaces and introduces a modifying clause, while a regular pronoun replaces a word so that it isn't unnecessarily repeated in a sentence.

　　Examples:

　　The man who borrowed your lawnmower moved toAlaska. Here on the table are the books that you left at my house. The man who owns the fruit stand is selling some bananas. Ralph picked the watermelon that 'Was the largest and ripest.

　　The woman whose money you found lives inParis.

　　Hanna's umbrella, which she bought for $ 30, has a hole in it.

　　C. Joining Sentences and Doing Away with Unnecessary Words

　　Draft sentences

　　Fred likes to open beer bottles with his teeth. He's an old friend of mine.

　　Combined

　　Fred, an old friend of mine, likes to open beer bottles with his teeth.

　　Draft sentences

　　The new parents named their baby girl Neptunia. That is an unusual name.

　　Combined

　　The new Parents named their baby girl Neptunia, an unusual name.

　　D. Combining Short Sentences

　　The first time you write a paragraph, you may find some short, choppy sentences in it. Here is an example of a paragraph full of such sentences.

　　I enjoy Christmas very much. I like shopping .I like decorating the tree. I like giving presents. I enjoy eating on Christmas Day. I enjoy eating turkey. I like a lot of dressing. I like pumpkin pie. I also like being with the family. I like seeing my grandmother. I like seeing my nieces.

　　The short sentences are choppy and not easy or pleasant to read. Here is a revised version of the same paragraph with some of the short sentences combined.

　　I enjoy Christmas very much. I like shopping and decorating the tree, and I also enjoy giving presents. On Christmas Day, I love eating all the turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie. Finally, I look forward to being with the family and seeing my grandmother and nieces in particular.

　　As you can see, the revised paragraph is smoother and more pleasant to read than the first version. The thoughts expressed are the same, but the sentences are smoother and stronger.

　　Here are some basic techniques for combining short sentences.

　　1. Eliminate words that are repeated in sentences.

　　2. Group similar words or Sets of words together.

　　3. Use the joining word and to combine words or groups of words.

　　4. Use commas (,) to separate words or groups of words that are joined.

　　Here are four examples of short sentences combined to form better single sentences. In each new sentence formed, some words have been eliminated and some have been grouped together. Notice the use of commas (,) in the new sentences.

　　Short Sentences: Jules is sweet. He is considerate. He is loving.

　　Combined: Jules is sweet, considerate, and loving.

　　Short Sentences: Mary went to the store. Julie went to the store. Maria went to the store.

　　Combined: Mary, Julie, and Maria went to the store.

　　Short Sentences: I like your Chevrolet. It is a 1956. It is green. It is a two-door.

　　Combined: I like your green, two-door 1956 Chevrolet.

　　Short Sentences: Jack applied for a job. He went for an interview. He was hired.

　　Combined: Jack applied for a job, went for an interview, and was hired.

　　It is important to practice the various sentence patterns so that you can increase your sense of the' many ways available to you for expressing your ideas.

　　E. Sentence Variety Phrases Through Participle

　　Use an -ing or -ed phrase at some point in a sentence. Look at these examples:

　　The doctor, hoping for the best; examined the X-rays.

　　Jogging every day, I soon increased my energy level.

　　The rabbit perched on the edge of the patio, chewing the new grass.

　　Tired of studying, I took a short break.

　　Mary, amused by the joke, told it to a friend.

　　My eyes opened wide, shocked by the red "F" on my paper.

　　F. -ly Openers

　　Use an -ly word to open a sentence.

　　Here are a couple of examples:

　　Gently, he mixed the chemicals together.

　　Anxiously, the contestant looked at the game clock.

　　Skillfully, the quarterback rifled a pass to his receiver.

　　G. to Openers

　　Use a to word group to open a sentence.

　　Please read these examples:

　　To succeed in that course, you must attend every class.

　　To help me sleep better, I learned to quiet my mind through meditation.

　　To get good seat, we went to the game early.

　　Topics for Discussion (討論題):

　　What are qualities of effective sentences?How can we make sentences varied?What are those possible ways of keeping a sentence coherent?

　　Exercises

　　Section A

　　I. Revise the following sentences.

　　1. Mr. Wang, a man trusted by his leaders and all his fellow workers, known as an expert in computer programming.

　　2. Flying fromBeijingtoLondonthree days ago and back toBeijingyesterday, jet lag is troubling him.

　　3. When the meeting between the director of our company and the representative of the American company came to an end, he expressed satisfaction with the result.

　　4. He had a long talk with the visiting delegation, he mentioned all the problems that remained to be solved, however, no agreement was reached in the end.

　　5. They had a long discussion, nevertheless, they came to no conclusion.

　　6. While he was inShanghai, he has visited the newly developed area in Pudong, and is deeply impressed by the prosperity he has seen.

　　7. This grammar book is a better one as far as I know.

　　8. She hurried back because she didn't know that the meeting was put off.

　　9. I entered her office and found she talked with two guests.

　　10. There are more books in their library than my school.

　　11. The old man who had taught at the school for 40 years and was given a medal of honor for his devotion to the cause of education before he retired.

　　12. This morning the president and a group of students were talking and ten minutes later they left.

　　13. Going to the library to borrow the novel, no copy was available.

　　14. A number of spelling mistakes was found in his composition.

　　15. I was terribly busy yesterday, therefore, I had to leave some work for today.

　　16. Everyone of the students, including myself, have bought this dictionary.

　　17. Physics are fascinating but difficult.

　　18. The president together with several assistants are here.

　　19. She put all her reference books into a box, which she would use after taking the new job.

　　20. Fifty dollars seem too much for this sweater.

　　II. Rewrite the following paragraphs, paying special attention to coordination, subordination, and variety in sentence structure.

　　1. It is a very small village. It is located at the foot of a mountain. In front of it flows a stream. The stream supplies the village with clean water. There are only about 50 households in it. Altogether there are about 200 people. It used to be a very poor and backward village. But since the beginning of reform in our country, the village has changed a great deal. A small factory has been set up in it. In the factory young men and women of the village make baskets and other things with rattan. On the mountain behind the village grows a large amount of rattan. Their products sell very well. They are beautifully designed and carefully made. Recently some foreign businessmen have shown interest in them. It is possible that they will be sold abroad. Because of this rural enterprise and the progress in agriculture, the village has become richer. A highway has been built between it and a nearby town. New houses have been built. The primary school in the village has been enlarged. Quite a few young people have gone to big cities to study. The village will have a bright future. All the villagers are sure of this.

　　2. William Shakespeare was born in 1564 inStratford-on-Avon. He was the son of John Shakespeare. John was said to be a husbandman in the town. He was also described as a butcher, a glover and a wool-dealer. We have very little direct and positive knowledge concerning the facts of Shakespeare's life. To a great extent we have to rely on uncertain inferences and conjectures. William was educated at a grammar school at Stratford. He was married in 1582. His wife was called Anne. He left his hometown in 1585 to be a schoolmaster in a neighboring village. He arrived in Londonin 1586. There he worked at one of the two theaters in the city. By 1592 he was both an actor and a playwright. He wrote one play after another. He wrote comedies, tragedies and histories. Among his best-known plays are Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, The Merchant of Venice, King Lear, Macbeth, and Julius Caesar. He also wrote many beautiful sonnets. He spent his last years in his hometown. He died in 1616 at the age of 52. He is generally regarded as one of the greatest dramatists of the world. His plays have been and will be read, studied, and performed all over the world.

　　III. Improve the following sentences, paying attention to unity and coherence.

　　1. Shakespeare was one of the greatest dramatists.

　　2. He said he would take the exam and pass it, but he was not certain of it.

　　3. He read the magazine in the reading-room. which contained a lot of latest information about computer science.

　　4. It snowed heavily at 8 o'clock.

　　5. Such comments neither add nor detract from his fame.

　　6. I was willing to buy the suit at that price and my billfold did not allow me to buy it.

　　7. Many people believe that one should eat garlic every day to prevent disease in that region.

　　8. The earthquake only damaged a few houses.

　　9. He loves so much to work that he even works during his vacation.

　　10. One student said that such a discussion was not helpful in class.

　　11. At the picnic Helen served salad to hungry guests on paper plates.

　　12. Languages were not invented; it grew with people’s need for expression.

　　13. Mary called Beth every day when she was in hospital.

　　14. Instead of taking physics, chemistry was chosen by most students in the class. 15. After listening to the speaker’s inspiring speech, many questions were raised. 16. Although only a small boy, his father wanted him to do a man’s work on the farm.

　　17. When describing your tour in the three countries, slides may be helpful.

　　18. He was so tired that we saw him asleep at eight in the morning.

　　19. The landslide destroyed several houses and five people were killed by it.

　　20. The singing in the film is good and the actors act wonderfully well.

　　21. What do the rich know about poverty and those who are hungry?

　　22. What one knows is more important than the wealth one has.

　　IV. Improve the following sentences, paying attention to conciseness and emphasis.

　　1. In the early part of December there was a heavy snow in this area, and it snowed for three days without letup.

　　2. Students who are in their fourth year at the university go to visit the library regularly to look for material and reference books useful for the writing of their graduation papers.

　　3. Early in the morning there was a fog which covered all things in the whole city and people who were driving were careful and they had to drive very slowly.

　　4. He has tasted the wines produced in different places and he says the red wine made inBeijingis the best.

　　5. In fact, he is usually realistic and sometimes he is also quite romantic.

　　6. Each time there was a knock at the door he was nervous, for he feared that someone might come to bring him more bad news.

　　7. When you read the beginning of the book, you can't understand the meaning of the title. You will understand it when you come to the end of the book.

　　8.Chinahas a population of 1.2 billion. She must do much to limit the growth of population.

　　9. Some people like to say "That's neat" when they mean to say "That's good." It is a slang expression.

　　10. She enjoys talking with friends and is never tired when she is chatting with her good friends.

　　11. The referee raised his right hand in which he was holding a yellow card.

　　12. Moral integrity is more important than life, position, or wealth, according to Confucius.

　　13. Altogether 12 novels were written by this famous novelist during his lifetime.

　　14. Such a new view on the working of the universe could only have been put forward by a scientist like him.

　　15. Rich people in the West usually ask lawyers for help whenever they get into trouble with other people.

　　16. Meaningful content is the most important quality of a composition, above all.

　　17. She does not care too much about prices; she thinks the quality of things is more important.

　　18. These children are busy playing with toys. They have little time for studies.

　　19. In the evenings television is watched by almost all people in this village.

　　20. The Government praises itself in every possible way, but the Opposition says ugly things about it whenever possible.

　　Section B

　　I. Read the following and say what kind of sentence each is (loose, periodic, or balanced):

　　1. It is a pleasure to read good books.

　　2. She missed the step and sprained her ankle.

　　3. Badly frightened by the explosion, the boy rushed out of the laboratory.

　　4. The Wangs must have gone away for the summer holidays, for we have not seen them for two or three weeks.

　　5. There were the translators in their booths, and the girl secretaries at the doors, and the reporters grumbling and scribbling in their seats.

　　6. Our friends, who had started before us, promised that they would meet us, but when we arrived at the bus stop, they were nowhere to be seen.

　　7. The new thing that happened to me in the town was that I was thrown into experiences that finally seemed to cut my ties to the walled-world of my childhood.

　　8. In the speeches of politicians towards the close of 1919 and the spring of 1920, there was manifest an increasing recognition of the fact that what is called the capitalist system —the private ownership system that is, in which. private profit is the working incentive—-was on trial.

　　9. It will not be done by the Government; it cannot be done by Parliament.

　　10. There are still two widely different methods of getting what you want. One is to make yourself so useful that others are glad to pay you, or give you what you want, in return for your service or your product; the other is to make yourself so dangerous that others will be afraid to refuse what you demand. The one appeals to good will; the other to fear. The one is constructive; the other is destructive. The one is the method of civilised men; the other is' the method of savages.

　　II. Read the following, point out the mistakes and, make necessary corrections:

　　1. Our host entertained us with many interesting stories of adventure, he had been a member of an exploration team working in theArctic.

　　2. When I woke up I saw him asleep in bed, I had not heard him when he came back. Because I had been sleeping soundly.

　　3. Liu always did his work a little better than his fellow workers, that was why he got higher pay than others.

　　4. No student could answer that question, evenYao, who was usually quick in answering questions, was silent.

　　5. Lin looks like Li, however, they are not related.

　　6. The old man hunched forward. His head tilted at an angle. His eyes half closed, looking very sleepy.

　　7. Their work was well planned, everybody worked with great enthusiasm, thus, they over-fulfilled their quota.

　　8. Mark Twain, a well-known American writer, whose experience as a pilot on a steamboat was no doubt an important factor that helped him to become a famous writer.

　　III. Rewrite the following by putting the short sentences into compound or complex sentences, or sentences with participial, prepositional, or other phrases:

　　1. Xu comes from a working-class family. He enrolled in college last fall.

　　2. The dean issued a bulletin. It said the library would remain open on weekends.

　　3. Last night was a wild night. The thunder roared. The wind blew a gale. The rain fell in torrents.

　　4. There are icicles on the trees. The temperature must have fallen considerably during the night.

　　5. He returned to his hometown. He had been away for twelve years. He looked in vain for the familiar landmarks.

　　6. We have made some progress. We still have a long way to go.

　　7. The sky was cloudless. The sun was shining brightly.

　　8. There were over two hundred passengers on board the plane. About one third of them were foreigners.

　　9. The girl began to learn to play the piano when she was a child. Her mother was a famous pianist.

　　10. Napoleon was born in 1769. At that time Corsica had just been acquired byFrance.

　　11. She appeared on the stage. A stormy applause broke forth.

　　12. The gypsies are really a nomadic people from Indian. They migrated intoEurope. Once they were thought to be Egyptians.

　　13. The new workers are young and inexperienced. They are eager to learn from the veteran workers.

　　14. It was a poor quarter. There were a lot of small huts. They had mud walls and straw roofs. They dotted a hillside.

　　15. He heard that his father was ill. He was anxious to go home to see him. He went to the station early in the morning to buy a ticket.

　　IV. The following sentences are not unified or coherent. Try to improve them:

　　1. She began to speak very fast at the meeting at ten o' clock.

　　2. Bernard Shaw was one of the best-known playwrights.

　　3. The houses were mere shanties, and rags were stuffed in the cracks and holes.

　　4. I read the novel on the train, which did not interest me at all.

　　5. A well-dressed man admitted us to the house, and we later learned that he was a thief.

　　6. I lost some important documents and found them three days later. The police had helped me.

　　7. We entered the shop, and a saleswoman greeted us, and all kinds of shoes were on the shelves, and the prices were quite reasonable, and a lot of customers were buying them.

　　8. Tell Helen, if she is at home, I will come to see her.

　　9. Listening attentively, a faulty sound was heard.

　　10. On entering the room, no one was seen.

　　11. Fred is energetic, capable, and a man you can rely on.

　　12. The children promised to be careful and that they would return home early.

　　13. Dickens's novels offer no solution to the social injustices he exposes in them.

　　14. My watch is either fast or yours is slow.

　　15. Glancing out of the window, a beautiful view attracted my attention.

　　16. He nearly finished reading ten books during the vacation.

　　17. If interested in painting, a course can be taken at the evening school.

　　18. She said that she would come if she could, but not to wait for her.

　　19. To tell my friend the good news the letter was posted at once.

　　20. I will go to the lecture, for I like his poems.

　　V. Revise the following sentences. Try to make them concise.

　　1. In the year 1840 the Opium War broke out.

　　2. There are more books in their library than in our library.

　　3. He returned back home after he graduated from college.

　　4. We planned to meet just before sunrise very early in the morning.

　　5. The cause of the flood was due to the heavy rain in late spring.

　　6. He was asked to repeat the sentence again.

　　7. I play badminton equally as well as my brother.

　　8. It seemed to his friends that his attitude was of a puzzling nature.

　　9. These watermelons are large in size and sweet in taste.

　　10. He did not tell the truth with an honest attitude.

　　11. There are a number of students who want to join the drama club.

　　12. He was kind enough to let me share the same umbrella with him.

　　13. Zhao was the person who was elected the representative of the class by the whole class.

　　14. At the present time I am taking the course of WorId History and in addition a course in geography too.

　　15. The plane circled around the airport for about ten minutes or so and than disappeared and could no longer be seen.

　　16. What I am trying to say is that in my opinion he has not done his work very well and it needs improving.

　　17. I would like you to consider the question of whether or not

　　you will let our journal publish your recent article on women scientists inChina.

　　18. Owing to the fact that he had missed many lectures, he was aware that it would be possible for him to fail the exam.

　　19. You must first work out an outline for your paper, and then after you have done that, you need to collect all kinds of material to support your point of view.

　　20. In that country violent death has become a commonplace thing, a thing that occurs every day.

　　21. He is not only a good pianist, but also a good singer as well.

　　22. This pretty actress keeps appearing in TV serials repeatedly.

　　23. As a rule, students are usually not allowed to take books out of this reading-room.

　　24. According to the speaker, it is obvious that the responsibility system has helped to increase production and he has no doubt about it.

　　25. One reason why people are well informed in this country is because of the fact that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.

　　26. Statistics show that in the decade from 1980 to 1990 enrollments at this school doubled: in 1990 there were twice as many students as in 1980.

　　27. There are so many inexperienced unskilled workers without training in a particular job that production of the factory has been affected.

　　28. There are about 50 patients or so in this ward, among whom many are being given acupuncture treatment.

　　29. His name is called lames Williams.

　　30. Whatever he does, he works seriously with great care, and does his best so as to do it well.

　　VI. Rewrite the following sentences, emphasizing the main idea in each:

　　1. Huang, who is over two metres tall, is the tallest man of the team.

　　2. Social position, reputation, even life itself, and friends, were no longer interesting to him after he went bankrupt.

　　3. He decided to take the job, and it was something unexpected.

　　4.Chinawill not be the first to use nuclear weapons under any circumstances.

　　5. Yang alone can do the work, and there are twenty students in the class.

　　6.Chinahas changed a great deal as a result of reform and the open policy during the past 14 years.

　　7. She was the first Chinese woman who had won a gold medal for figure skating in an international contest, according to newspaper reports.

　　8. An attempt was made by Robert to do all the things that the sailor members of the crew usually did while serving as a cabin boy on the ship.

　　9. Mrs. Jones, the famous writer, was among his neighbours.

　　10. The students were patiently helped by their teachers and good progress was made by them.

　　11. She often helps many comrades in her class to improve their pronunciation.

　　12. There are few mistakes in the language of the composition, but it is not very good, because the content is not interesting.

　　

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