雙語美文賞析:真愛的含義

　　Love means that I know the person I love. I’m aware of the many sides of the other person----not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and flaws. I have an awareness of the other’s feelings and thoughts, and I experience something of the core of that person. I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeper level.

　　Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. To the extent that it is genuine, my caring is not a smothering of the person or a possessive clinging. On the contrary, my caring liberates both of us. If I care about you, I’m concerned about your growth, and I hope you will become all that you can become. Consequently, I don’t put up roadblocks to what you do that enhances you as a person, even though it may result in my discomfort at times.

　　Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as a separate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that you surrender you identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me. I can allow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are, and I avoid treating you as an object or using you primarily to gratify my own needs.

　　Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I’m responsive to most of your major needs as a person. This responsibility does not entail my doing for you what you are capable of doing for yourself; nor does it mean that I run your life for you. It does imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affects you, so that I am directly involved in your happiness and your misery. A lover does have the capacity to hurt or neglect the loved one, and in this sense I see that love entails and acceptance of some responsibility for the impact my way of being has on you.

　　愛意味著我了解我所愛的人。我認(rèn)識(shí)到對方的許多方面，不僅是美麗閃光的一面，還有能力上的不足、反復(fù)無常和性格上的缺陷。我了解對方的感情和想法，我能體驗(yàn)到那個(gè)人身上的某種本質(zhì)的東西。我能透過對方社交場合的表現(xiàn)和在社會(huì)的角色，看到他更深層次的品質(zhì)。

　　愛意味著我關(guān)心我所愛的人的幸福。只要這種關(guān)心是真誠的，那么它就不會(huì)是某種壓抑或占有性的依附。與此相反，我的關(guān)心會(huì)使我們兩個(gè)都不受到束縛。如果我在乎你，我就會(huì)關(guān)注你的成長，我希望你將來成為一個(gè)有所作為的人。因此，對你為完善自己所做的一切，我決不設(shè)置障礙，即使你做的事情有時(shí)會(huì)使我不快。

　　愛意味著尊重我所愛的人的尊嚴(yán)。如果我愛你，我會(huì)把你看成是獨(dú)立的個(gè)體，有自己的價(jià)值觀、思想和感情，我不會(huì)堅(jiān)持讓你放棄自己的特性，使你變成一個(gè)我期望你成為的那種人。我會(huì)允許并鼓勵(lì)你保持獨(dú)立，堅(jiān)持自己的特色，我會(huì)避免把你當(dāng)作一件東西對待或用你來主要滿足我自身的需要。

　　愛意味著對我所愛的人付責(zé)任。如果我愛你，我就會(huì)積極對待你的需要。這種責(zé)任并不等于我要為你做你自己能夠做到的事情，也不是說我為你管理你的生活。它應(yīng)該是承認(rèn)我和我所做的事會(huì)對你產(chǎn)生影響，因此我直接與你的幸福和痛苦聯(lián)系在一起。一個(gè)人的確可能會(huì)傷害或忽視他所愛的人。從這個(gè)意義上說，愛包含著我要為我(的生活方式)對你的影響承擔(dān)一定的責(zé)任。