簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章
閱讀是語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用中最頻繁的一種活動(dòng),又是現(xiàn)代人類認(rèn)知世界最基本的方法,也是人們獲取信息的重要的手段,還是提高英語(yǔ)水平最有效的途徑。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章1
Where is the father?父親在哪兒?
Text(正文):
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒?
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。
“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章2
Does the dog know the proverb, too? 狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?
Text(正文):
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?
一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章3
dating 約會(huì)
Text(正文):
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
約會(huì)
在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個(gè)咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因?yàn)檫@位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對(duì)湯姆招手并示意湯姆過(guò)去。于是湯姆走了過(guò)去。她問(wèn)道，“您現(xiàn)在是單身嗎?”
“對(duì)，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說(shuō)。
“我母親也是，”她說(shuō)，“您愿不愿意見(jiàn)見(jiàn)她?”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章4
Sleeping Pills安眠藥
Text(正文):
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠藥
鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開(kāi)了一些強(qiáng)力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過(guò)來(lái)。他到了辦公室，遛達(dá)進(jìn)去，對(duì)老板說(shuō)：“我今天早上起床一點(diǎn)麻煩都沒(méi)有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章5
Big Head大腦袋
Text(正文):
“All the kids make fun of me” the boy cried to his mother.“ They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.” his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one, use your hat.”
大腦袋
“所有的孩子都拿我開(kāi)玩笑，”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說(shuō)：“他們說(shuō)我長(zhǎng)了一個(gè)大腦袋。”
“別聽(tīng)他們的，”他媽媽安慰說(shuō)：“你的腦袋長(zhǎng)得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買(mǎi)10磅土豆來(lái)。”
“購(gòu)物袋在哪?”
“我沒(méi)有購(gòu)物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章6
Good Boy好孩子
Text(正文):
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。
“昨天給你的錢(qián)干什么了?”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。“你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)。“再給你兩分錢(qián)?？赡銥槭裁磳?duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個(gè)賣(mài)糖果的。”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默文章7
Second language 外語(yǔ)
Text(正文):
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
外語(yǔ)
一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來(lái)散步，突然她看見(jiàn)一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽(tīng)了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過(guò)頭洋洋自得地對(duì)孩子說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在你知道外語(yǔ)的重要性了吧。