如果你正在奔三的道路上(雙語(yǔ))
如果你正在奔三的道路上(雙語(yǔ))
摘要:如果你正在奔三的道路上,突然覺(jué)得自己對(duì)于職業(yè)生涯和感情關(guān)系缺乏目標(biāo)、又充滿不安全感,也許你已經(jīng)患上了30歲綜合癥。在25歲之后能意識(shí)到自己處于身份危機(jī),這是減輕30歲后的焦慮的第一步。那么, 你知道奔三綜合癥是什么嗎?
If you're approaching the big 3-0 and feeling suddenly aimless and insecure about your career and relationships, you might in the middle of what we know anecdotally as a pre-30 meltdown. Recognizing the symptoms of a late-20s identity crisis can be the first step to making the start of your third decade a lot less stressful -- and realizing that you're probably right where you need to be, after all.
如果你正在奔三的道路上,突然覺(jué)得自己對(duì)于職業(yè)生涯和感情關(guān)系缺乏目標(biāo)、又充滿不安全感,也許你已經(jīng)患上了30歲綜合癥。在25歲之后能意識(shí)到自己處于身份危機(jī),這是減輕30歲后的焦慮的第一步。也許你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你只是在順其自然而已。
A Sense Of Not Measuring Up
癥狀一:什么都沒(méi)搞定的挫敗感
Now that your adult life seems to have officially arrived, you may be feeling the need to get it together, fast. Suddenly, it might seem that if you want marriage and children -- things that your mother may have had at 30 -- you'd better start finding them now.
快步入30歲了,似乎意味著你的成年人生活正式到來(lái),你或許有種迫切感要把一切該做好的事情盡快做好。突然,你就想像你母親那樣在30歲時(shí)把結(jié)婚生子都完成了,至少也要開(kāi)始行動(dòng)起來(lái)。
Try not to stress about getting all your ducks in a row by the time you hit 30 -- the most important thing at this point in your life is to figure out what you want and be working towards it, not to already “have it all.”
試著不要給自己壓力,讓自己在30歲一到就把這些事都挨個(gè)地完成。你生活中最重要的事情是知道自己到底要什么,并且朝著自己的目標(biāo)努力,而不是“把一切做完”。
Lying About Your Age For The First Time
癥狀二:第一次在年齡上撒謊
Although you may have been worried about aging since you graduated from college, most of us don't start to really dread our birthdays until the mid to late-20s. If you just found yourself lying about your age for the first time, pre-30 angst may be kicking in.
即使你從大學(xué)畢業(yè)后就開(kāi)始擔(dān)心衰老的問(wèn)題,但我們中的大多數(shù)還是在25歲之后開(kāi)始真正感到過(guò)生日的壓力。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己開(kāi)始在年齡上撒謊的話,那么你或許已經(jīng)患上了30歲綜合癥。
Questioning The Value Of Past Achievements
癥狀三:開(kāi)始懷疑過(guò)往的成就是否有價(jià)值
For some women, the insecurity of a pre-30 crisis inolves doubting their past accomplishments -- the wins at work and personal victories that you were once proud of might not seem to amount of much when you're focusing on the ways that your life has fallen short of your own definition of success.
有些女性的30歲綜合癥會(huì)表現(xiàn)在對(duì)過(guò)往成就的懷疑上。過(guò)去在工作中獲得的成功以及個(gè)人的一些成就,這些原本引以為傲的榮譽(yù)看起來(lái)并不是生活的重心,你開(kāi)始對(duì)成功的定義有了迷茫。
Increased Insecurity About Dating And Relationships
癥狀四:對(duì)約會(huì)和戀愛(ài)缺乏安全感
Sadness and stress over a breakup, romantic relationship or lack of relationship is a common symptom of a late 20-something crisis. It doesn't matter whether you're single, married, dating around, or coupled in any form -- your relationship status becomes a daily source of stress and anxiety during the pre-30 crisis. You may find yourself suddenly unsatisfied with a long-term relationship or anxious about not having gained enough dating experiences in your 20s.
25歲之后,對(duì)于分手、戀愛(ài)或者單身都變得難過(guò)和焦慮,這也是30歲綜合癥的癥狀之一。無(wú)論你現(xiàn)在是單身、已婚、還是約會(huì)中,這些身份都會(huì)成為日常生活中壓力和焦躁的來(lái)源。你會(huì)突然就對(duì)長(zhǎng)期的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系感到不滿,或者對(duì)20幾歲沒(méi)有多談戀愛(ài)變得焦慮起來(lái)。
Regret
癥狀五:后悔
Dwelling on all the things that you could have done differently in your life is a hallmark of the pre-30 crisis. Everything you might be unsatisfied with at work or in your personal life feels like a product of poor choices or missed opportunities.
30歲綜合癥的一大標(biāo)志性癥狀就是認(rèn)為過(guò)往做的所有事情如果換種做法會(huì)變得不一樣。你在工作或個(gè)人生活中還感到不滿意的事情,都會(huì)被當(dāng)成是錯(cuò)誤的選擇和錯(cuò)失的機(jī)會(huì)所造成的。
Money Worries
癥狀六:擔(dān)心錢的問(wèn)題
Suddenly, your financial situation may feel forebodingly unstable and looks a whole lot more pathetic than it ever did before. By the age of 30, every woman should have learned to master certain basic money skills, like keeping a budget. But if you haven't yet, at least you're aware of it, and there are plenty of tools available online and off to help you move towards financial stability going forward.
突然間,你的經(jīng)濟(jì)狀況會(huì)讓你感到很不穩(wěn)定,比從前任何時(shí)候都讓人揪心。到了30歲,所有女性都應(yīng)該學(xué)一些基本的理財(cái)方式,比如堅(jiān)持做預(yù)算。如果你還沒(méi)開(kāi)始理財(cái),至少也要開(kāi)始關(guān)注這個(gè)問(wèn)題了。現(xiàn)在有很多線上和線下的理財(cái)工具,可以幫助你實(shí)現(xiàn)財(cái)務(wù)的穩(wěn)定和增值。
Questioning Your Career Path
癥狀七:對(duì)自己的職業(yè)生涯生疑
As you move through your 20s, it's normal to realize that your dreams aren't quite what they had seemed to be when you were younger. And as you approach 30 and reevaluate your life path, you may be considering quitting your job and completely changing career paths.
20多歲了,你開(kāi)始意識(shí)到自己的夢(mèng)想和年幼時(shí)想象得并不一樣。當(dāng)你在奔三的時(shí)候,重新審視你的生活軌跡,你會(huì)想要辭職,重新?lián)Q個(gè)職業(yè)。
The questions that people come in with might be, “I'm in IT earning 0,000 a year but why am I doing this?” And it's an important question to ask. If you're feeling unfulfilled at work or uncertain about a career path you chose based on the salary, it may be time to look at your future in that career.
你可能提出的問(wèn)題是“我從事IT工作,每年可以掙13萬(wàn),但我為什么要做這個(gè)呢?”這是一個(gè)很重要的問(wèn)題。如果基于你所獲的薪酬,你對(duì)自己的工作或職業(yè)生涯無(wú)法感到滿足,那么是時(shí)候該想想這份職業(yè)能帶給你什么樣的未來(lái)了。
Not Feeling Like Yourself
癥狀八:感到自己不像自己了
Any major life change can trigger a shift in values and perspective that leads to an identity crisis. You may be doubting yourself and questioning who you are as your 30th birthday approaches, wondering how you got where you are in life and calling your most deeply-held values into question.
任何重大的生活改變都會(huì)引發(fā)價(jià)值觀的變化,從而引起身份危機(jī)。在你30歲生日臨近的時(shí)候,你也許會(huì)懷疑自己,并拷問(wèn)自己到底是誰(shuí),疑惑自己是如何到了現(xiàn)在這個(gè)地步,喚醒你內(nèi)心最深處的疑問(wèn)。
And this can be a good thing. You probably do know who you are -- but you're just aware that you have a lot of options. Modern women often experience what she refers to as choice overload, and that the remedy to keep a healthy perspective on decision-making.
這是一件好事。你也許知道自己是誰(shuí),只不過(guò)你覺(jué)得自己有很多選擇?,F(xiàn)代女性經(jīng)常會(huì)面臨選擇過(guò)多的局面,解決方法就是知道如何做出正確的決定。
Constantly Comparing Yourself To Your Peers
癥狀九:常常與同齡人比較
The pre-30 crisis feeds on comparison to others of the same age, and it can lead to a constant nagging feeling that your life doesn't measure up. You may be going on Facebook to check up on former friends and enemies to see who has their adult like “together” -- and who doesn't. But of course, in the end, neither outcome will make you feel better about your own situation. Sometimes. Admit where you are, and refuse to be ashamed of it. You're doing the best you can.
30歲綜合癥的人會(huì)常常與同齡人去比較,造成的后果就是感到自己什么事都沒(méi)搞定(參見(jiàn)癥狀一)。你也許會(huì)上臉譜網(wǎng)去看看過(guò)去的朋友和敵人現(xiàn)在都過(guò)得怎么樣了,有誰(shuí)混得好了,有誰(shuí)混不下去了。無(wú)論結(jié)果如何,都不會(huì)改善你對(duì)自己的看法。有時(shí)候,承認(rèn)自己所處的位置,不要因此而羞愧。你就已經(jīng)做到了最好。
Not Wanting To Go Out
癥狀十:不愿意出門
Turning to Netflix and a cup of tea night after night may actually be symptomatic of a pre-30 crisis. If you've been isolating yourself from friends and frequently declining invitations, your need for alone time may be a reaction to elevated stress levels. Be sure to make time for low-key activities with close friends to keep your spirits up.
夜復(fù)一夜地泡杯茶、在網(wǎng)上看片子,這也是30歲綜合癥的癥狀之一。如果你經(jīng)常婉拒朋友的邀請(qǐng),習(xí)慣自己一個(gè)人待著,這也許是你應(yīng)對(duì)壓力的方式。還是花些時(shí)間和朋友們?cè)谝黄鸢桑埠米屪约旱木裾駣^起來(lái)。