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學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ) > 英語(yǔ)閱讀 > 英語(yǔ)笑話(huà) > 英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文

英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文

時(shí)間: 焯杰674 分享

英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文

  笑話(huà)使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松,在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文,希望大家喜歡!

  英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文1:

  A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed,but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards,her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license,but she didri t have one.

  一位婦女來(lái)到我們銀行想兌換一張支票,但她在我們這兒沒(méi)建立帳戶(hù)。當(dāng)我問(wèn)她要證明材料時(shí),她把社會(huì)保險(xiǎn)卡、圖書(shū)卡拿給我看。我告訴她我們要看她的駕駛證,她說(shuō)她沒(méi)有。

  "Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.

  “難道你就沒(méi)帶照片的東西嗎?”

  "Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "

  “噢,有啊,”她邊說(shuō)邊從錢(qián)包里拿出一張合家照,“站在后排的那個(gè)就是我。”

  英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文2:

  My secretary began to post unusual news articles,cartoons and pictures of faraway lands on our office bulletin board. Although she changed the items on a regular basis,no one mentioned her efforts.Eventually she put up a notice stating that she would give one dollar to the first person who read the announcement and informed her about it. Two weeks later, she received her first acknowledgement,a handwritten reply left on her desk:"I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy your interesting bulletin board. The Cleaning Lady.”

  我的秘書(shū)開(kāi)始在我們辦公室的布告欄里張貼一些奇持的新聞、卡通和風(fēng)景畫(huà)等。按時(shí)更換,但從未有人提到過(guò)她所做出的努力。終于她貼出了一張告示說(shuō),誰(shuí)要是第一個(gè)看到她貼的通知,就可以告訴她,那個(gè)人就能從她那里得到一美元。兩周后,她接到了第一個(gè)正式的通知。在她的桌上留著一張字條:“我只想讓你知道,我非常喜歡看那有趣的布告欄。清潔工。”

  英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文3:

  Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son,Taylor, to open the door, none of my tactics worked. Finally,I walked around the house to check for an open window. To my amazement,I found the front door open and Taylor standing there with a salesman.

  出了廚房我便走進(jìn)了車(chē)庫(kù),不留神把門(mén)鎖給撞上了,把我自己鎖在了門(mén)外。我那18個(gè)月的兒子泰勒在屋里。于走,我在外邊千方百計(jì)地想讓他幫我開(kāi)門(mén),結(jié)果均告失敗。最后,我圍著房子想找個(gè)開(kāi)著的窗子。令我吃驚的是,前門(mén)開(kāi)著,我的兒子站在門(mén)口正與一個(gè)推銷(xiāo)員在談話(huà)。

  "I've been locked out for 20 minutes,"I said. "How did you get him to open the door?"

  我對(duì)那推銷(xiāo)員說(shuō):“我被鎖在了外邊20多分鐘,你是怎樣讓他給你開(kāi)門(mén)的”。

  Looking puzzled,the man replied,“I rang the doorbell."

  面帶驚奇的推銷(xiāo)員答說(shuō):“我只按了一下門(mén)鈴。”

  英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)短文4:

  A motorist got caught in one of those new radar traps.He had been driving home one night when the automatic camera identified his car as exceeding the speed limit, Soon after,he received a ticket in the mail,plus a picture of this vehicle with the date and speed recorded on it.

  一個(gè)飛車(chē)手被新的雷達(dá)測(cè)速儀捕獲。那是他在一天晚上超速駕車(chē)回家時(shí),被自動(dòng)照像機(jī)攝下了他的汽車(chē)。不久,他便收到了一個(gè)裝有罰款單的信封,里面裝有他汽車(chē)的照片、超速的日期和速度。

  Duly impressed, he sent back the ticket, along with a photo of a 0 bill to pay the fine.

  他對(duì)這種方式的印象極為深刻,于是寄回了那張罰款單,并附上了一張一百元美金的照片作為罰金。

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