七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)
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七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)1：
I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out，she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.
當(dāng)聽(tīng)說(shuō)我72歲的母親居然開(kāi)著12年的舊車(chē)行駛了900英里來(lái)看我時(shí)，我真有些吃驚。在我問(wèn)她是如何做的時(shí)候，她告訴我她一切都好，只是到了第二天晚上，給汽車(chē)加油后卻沒(méi)有住旅館的錢(qián)。
"What did you do?"I asked.
“那你怎么辦了?”我問(wèn)道。
" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.
她說(shuō):“嗨，我開(kāi)到這個(gè)鎮(zhèn)子時(shí)，感到很困，一位警寨叫住了我。他問(wèn)我是否喝了酒，我說(shuō)沒(méi)喝。警察問(wèn)我為什么開(kāi)車(chē)在路上打晃晃。于是我解釋了我的情況。他命令道:“跟我走。”就這樣，我們就開(kāi)到了一個(gè)汽車(chē)旅館。警察替我付了住店費(fèi)。
"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”
媽媽接著說(shuō):“他離開(kāi)時(shí)，轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身，沖著我說(shuō):‘夫人，你下次要看兒女時(shí)，請(qǐng)走另一條路線吧!’”
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)2：
A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and，in response，the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby."explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. "Opening his briefcase，he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice，how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.
一位十歲的男孩腿上放著會(huì)文箱，正坐在一輛城市公共汽車(chē)上。這個(gè)孩子不斷地對(duì)著他衣服小聲嘟嚷。一位女乘客從這個(gè)男孩的眼神里看到一種疑感。緊接著這個(gè)小男孩從他的襯衣兜里拿出一只小白鼠，并解繹說(shuō):“這是個(gè)鼠息子。他的父母也在這里。”打開(kāi)他的手提箱，他從大約有十幾個(gè)的白鼠中挑出一對(duì)稍大的。這時(shí)其他的乘客也圍了過(guò)來(lái)。小男孩耐心地講著他對(duì)白鼠的興趣，怎樣照顧它們，它們的飲食習(xí)慣及不同的特性。
As the bus pulled up to his stop，the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps，he turned back for a moment.
待車(chē)在汽車(chē)站停下時(shí)，小男孩把小白鼠放回到手提箱，站起來(lái)，離開(kāi)了這些著了迷的觀眾。他下車(chē)時(shí)轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身對(duì)大家說(shuō):“這些是用來(lái)喂我助蛇的。”說(shuō)著，他就消失了。
"They are for my snake. "he said and disappeared out of the door.
七年級(jí)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)3：
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位婦女總是抱怨其丈夫在家里轉(zhuǎn)來(lái)轉(zhuǎn)去，無(wú)所事是，為了使老婆高興，他找到了精神病學(xué)專(zhuān)家。“你就躺在沙發(fā)上，我們來(lái)談?wù)劇?rdquo;精神病醫(yī)生告訴他:“如呆你想起什么就說(shuō)，沒(méi)有的話(huà)，下次再講也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—0，please. "The patient paid and left.
這位男士舒適地躺在沙發(fā)上，很快就入睡了。到了一小時(shí)，大夫喚醒了他說(shuō):“今天就到這兒吧，請(qǐng)交100元。”病人付了錢(qián)之后就走了，從此，那個(gè)人每周三、四來(lái)就診。每次，他總是一句話(huà)也不說(shuō)，光是睡覺(jué)，而且每次都付錢(qián)。第三周，病人來(lái)后坐下，然后又跳了起來(lái)。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫驚喜道，“你想出要說(shuō)的話(huà)了嗎?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一個(gè)助手嗎?”
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