1分鐘英文小笑話精選
1分鐘英文小笑話精選
多講點笑話，以幽默的態(tài)度處事，這樣子日子會好過一點。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的1分鐘英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
1分鐘英文小笑話精選
(一)
A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum.They came across one individual in the grounds，with wild eyes，dishevelled hair，feverishly endeavouring to catchflies and keep them in his pocket.
一群游客被領(lǐng)著參觀一所瘋?cè)嗽?。在院子里他們遇見一個人，他長著一雙瘋狂的眼睛，頭發(fā)蓬亂，正狂熱地設(shè)法逮住蒼蠅，把它們裝在他的口袋里。
His was a sad case，said the attendant.Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his home and ran off with another man.
他的病很慘，陪同人說。在他當(dāng)兵打仗的時候，他的妻子拋下他的家和另一個男人私奔了。
Terrible，said a visitor.
真可怕，一個游客說。
Presently they came to a padded cell，in which could be heard a raging as of a wild beast.
不久他們來到一間安上軟墊的小屋前，聽見里面?zhèn)鞒鲆矮F般的怒吼。
That's the other man，said the attendant.
這就是那另一個男人，陪同人說。
(二)
Santa of course!
當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因為大家都知道另外兩者并不存在。
1分鐘英文小笑話閱讀
(一)
圣誕派對上得搞笑對話
"Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?" said a boy to a girl.
一個小男孩跟小女孩說：“你有沒有覺得班主任有點傻?”
"Well, do you know who I am?" inquired the girl.
小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是誰嗎?”
"No." replied the boy.
小男孩回答道：“不知道。”
"I'm the head teacher's daughter", replied the girl.
小女孩說：“我就是你口中所說的傻班主任的女兒。”
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
小男孩(面不改色心里驚恐地)問：“那你知道我是誰嗎?”
"No," she uttered.
小女孩說：“不知道。”
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sigh of relief.
小男孩大大的松了口氣，說道“真是謝天謝地啊。”
(二)
Saying a Prayer for His Christmas Meal
圣誕節(jié)晚宴上的餐前禱告
Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
有個小男孩叫Lee, 今年七歲，圣誕節(jié)晚餐開桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶著期待的申請低頭看著他，Lee開始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽，哥哥姐姐誒，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然后，他開始感謝上帝賜予他得圣誕節(jié)晚餐了。
He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"
他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，圣誕布丁和紅莓醬。然后Lee停下來了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很長時間，然后抬起頭看著他媽媽說：“媽媽，如果我感謝上帝賜予我甘藍菜，他會知道我在撒謊嗎?”
注：國外很多小孩子都不喜歡吃甘藍菜，看《絕望主婦》里面Lynette家的雙胞胎就非常討厭吃甘藍菜，請了保姆后還拿這個來做實驗，看看她們家保姆有沒有魅力讓兩個小鬼頭把甘藍菜吃下去。
1分鐘英文小笑話學(xué)習(xí)
(一)
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me .50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for .50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: 0 due for a consultation.
律師的狗，沒有拴而到處閑逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店里偷了塊肉，我有權(quán)利從狗的主人那里要回損失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店里頭了塊肉”，律師什么都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開郵箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)一封來自律師的信，信上寫 道：咨詢費250美元。
(二)
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠藥
鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說："我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。"
"好啊!"老板吼道，"那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?"