八年級(jí)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選

　　搞笑以一種幽默和嘲笑的方式使人們明白事物的本質(zhì),事物的發(fā)展軌跡和過(guò)程,人生的哲理、做人的道理和做人的道德規(guī)范。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的八年級(jí)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選，歡迎閱讀!

　　八年級(jí)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選精選

　　Ways end Means

　　A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. "I'd like these altered, please," he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man replied he had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store policy to do free alterations without a receipt.

　　"Okay, then, " the man said, "I'd I like to return the slacks. clerk processed the return and gave him cash equaling the cost of the slacks.

　　The man pushed the money back across the counter. "Now I want to buy the slacks, " he said. The clerk rang up the sale, bagged the slacks and handed them to him with a receipt.

　　Triumphantly, he put the slacks and the receipt on the counter. "I'd like to have these altered, please."

　　Notes:

　　(1) slacks n.寬松的褲子

　　(2) receipt n.收據(jù)

　　(3) process v.處理以保存

　　(4) ring up用收銀機(jī)收錢

　　(5) bag v.打包;裝入袋中

　　(6) triumphantly adv.獲勝地;得意洋洋地

　　Exercises:

　　根據(jù)短文判斷下列句子正(T)、誤(F)：

　　① The man wanted to alter the shoes he bought .

　?、?The clerk asked the man for the sales receipt .

　　③ It was the store's policy that free alterations without a receipt allowed but a return without a receipt was alright.

　?、?The clerk was angry with what the man required.

　　⑤ The man got his slacks altered.

　　40.花招

　　一位男子把一條寬松褲遞給百貨商店職員。“我想換一條。”他說(shuō)。店員向他要售貨收據(jù)。這位男子翻遍了他的口袋，最后只得說(shuō)收據(jù)丟了。店員告訴他說(shuō)沒(méi)有收據(jù)不準(zhǔn)隨意更換，這是商店的規(guī)章。

　　“那好吧，”這位男子說(shuō)，“我要把這條褲子退掉。”店員按程序辦理了退貨手續(xù)并把等于褲子價(jià)格的現(xiàn)金給了他。

　　這位男子把錢從柜臺(tái)上推回去。“現(xiàn)在我還要這條褲子，”他說(shuō)。店員用收銀機(jī)收下了錢，把那條褲子裝進(jìn)包里，并把它們連同收據(jù)遞給了他。

　　這男子終于以勝利者的姿態(tài)把褲子和收據(jù)放在柜臺(tái)上，說(shuō)：“我要把這條褲子換了。”

　　練習(xí)參考答案：

　　①F②T③T④F⑤T

　　八年級(jí)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選閱讀

　　You Let Me Search Quite

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.

　　After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"

　　One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"

　　Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son on the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"

　　Notes:

　　(1) think of想起

　　(2) hearing this聽(tīng)到這話。這是個(gè)分詞短語(yǔ)，相當(dāng)于一個(gè)表示時(shí)間的狀語(yǔ)從句，即：When he heard this.

　　Exercises:

　　根據(jù)短文填空：

　?、?Once ______ a time, there was a man who always forgot things.

　?、?He was so happy that he put the son ______ his neck.

　　③ After _______ time, he suddenly thought of his son.

　?、?_______ this, the man took down his son from his neck.

　　⑤ He was so angry that he hit the son _______ the face .

　　41.叫我好找

　　古時(shí)，有個(gè)人記性極差。一天，他帶著小兒子出去玩。一高興，便把小兒子舉起來(lái)，讓他騎在自己的脖子上。

　　過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他忽然想起兒子來(lái)，逢人便問(wèn)：“你看到我孩子了嗎?”

　　“哎，你脖子上的那個(gè)不是嗎?”有個(gè)鄰居見(jiàn)了大笑。

　　這個(gè)人一把將小兒子從脖子上揪下來(lái)，狠狠地打了一耳光，罵道：“混蛋，叫你別亂跑，剛才你到哪里去了?”

　　練習(xí)參考答案：

　　① upon ② ride ③ a ④ hearing ⑤ on

　　八年級(jí)的英語(yǔ)笑話精選學(xué)習(xí)

　　The Long and Short of It

　　Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together .

　　"Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"

　　She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."

　　Notes:

　　(1) stately adj.高貴的

　　(2) leaf through迅速翻閱;瀏覽

　　(3) teen-ager.十幾歲的人

　　(4) fall in love with愛(ài)上;墜入愛(ài)河

　　Exercises:

　　根據(jù)短文選擇正確答案：

　?、?The child had never met______ .

　　A. the grandfather

　　B. the grandmother

　　C. the father

　　D. the mother

　　② The grandmother was _______taller than the grandfather.

　　A. five feet

　　B. six inches

　　C. four inches

　　D. five inches

　?、?"Leafing through" in "leafing through old photographs" means______ .

　　A. to turn page by page

　　B. to put leaves in an album

　　C. to took for

　　D. to take out from

　　④ The child realized________ .

　　A. how strange they must have looked together

　　B. how wonderful they must have looked together

　　C. how shameful they must have looked together

　　D. how unusual they must have looked together

　?、?From the passage we can see that______ .

　　A. the grandmother loved her husband deeply

　　B. the grandmother regretted to have married her husband

　　C. the grandfather had been out for at least ten years

　　D. the grandfather had been dead for nearly eight years

　　42.來(lái)龍去脈

　　盡管我從未見(jiàn)過(guò)我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高貴的祖母身高五英尺十一。十幾歲的時(shí)候，我和祖母一起一頁(yè)一頁(yè)地翻著老照片，我終于認(rèn)識(shí)到他們?cè)谝黄鹗嵌嗝床煌瑢こ！?/p>

　　“奶奶，”我問(wèn)道，“你怎么會(huì)愛(ài)上一個(gè)比你矮五英寸的人呢?”

　　她轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉來(lái)看著我。“寶貝，”她說(shuō)，“我們是坐著相愛(ài)的。當(dāng)我站起來(lái)的時(shí)候，已經(jīng)太晚了。”

　　練習(xí)參考答案：

　?、貯②D③A④A⑤A