笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默，與一般日常會(huì)話不同。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的小學(xué)生用來表的演英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　小學(xué)生用來表的演英語(yǔ)笑話大全

　　(一)

　　誰(shuí)說我老了?

　　Chaucer was over seventy , but he was not convinced of his age. At a time he boasted: “My physical strength is as strong as that I was young.” The opposite person asked: “ What do you rely on? ” Chaucer said : “ There is a big stone roller in my compound. I couldn’t heave it when was young, neither can I now.”

　　喬叟年過六旬，仍不服老。一次，他對(duì)人夸耀說：“我和年輕時(shí)力氣一樣大。”對(duì)方問：“何以見得?”喬叟說：“我家大院里有個(gè)石頭，年輕時(shí)我舉不起來，現(xiàn)在我還是舉不起來。”

　　(二)

　　有其父必有其子

　　Son: Papa, what' s the meaning of " Like father, like son"?

　　Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?

　　兒子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀?

　　父親：狗崽子，你在學(xué)校又干什么見不得人的事啦?

　　小學(xué)生用來表的演英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　您的大衣著火了

　　The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to countfifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. The next dayhe was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly.Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire,sir!

　　老師為了讓學(xué)生記住先思考后發(fā)言，告訴他們?cè)谡f出重要事情之前先數(shù)到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數(shù)到100。 第二天，當(dāng)老師背靠著火爐講課時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)好幾個(gè)學(xué)生的嘴唇在很快地不停地動(dòng)。突然，全班學(xué)生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”

　　(二)

　　臨死前給我吃點(diǎn)小甜餅吧

　　A Dying Man's Favorite Cookies An elderly man lay dying in his bed.

　　臨死者最愛吃的小甜餅一位瀕臨死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受著死亡的煎熬。

　　In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies waftingup the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaningagainst the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effortforced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

　　突然一股香味順著樓下飄了上來，那正是他最喜歡的巧克力小薄餅的味道。他用盡吃奶的力氣掙扎著從床上爬了起來，倚著墻，慢慢地走出了臥室，并且用最后的力量用雙手抓住扶手走下了樓梯。

　　With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.Were it notfor death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven:

　　老人靠在門框上，嘴里喘著氣，眼睛凝神著廚房。如果不是因?yàn)槌惺苤R死的痛苦，老人會(huì)認(rèn)為自己到了天堂。

　　there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favoritechocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven?

　　那里，在廚房鋪著報(bào)紙的桌子上，確切地說有數(shù)百個(gè)他最喜歡吃的巧克力小薄餅。真在天堂嗎?

　　Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world ahappy man?Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on hisknees in a rumpled posture.

　　還是他那離婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的愛心顯示，以便讓他開心地離開這個(gè)世界?集中最后的力量，老人跪著雙膝掙扎著移向桌子。他口干舌燥，嘴巴張開。

　　His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seeminglybringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie atthe edge of the table,

　　他感受到了美妙的甜餅味道，仿佛要將他帶回人世。他的一只年邁干癟的手顫顫悠悠地伸向桌子邊緣的一只小甜餅。

　　when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.Stay out of those, she said, they'refor the funeral.

　　突然，他妻子扔過一把鏟子，砸在他的手上。“離遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)”，他妻子說。“這是為你的葬禮準(zhǔn)備的。”

　　經(jīng)典的小學(xué)生用來表的演英語(yǔ)笑話

　　(一)

　　逼真的戲劇太假了

　　When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I requiredmy students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. Afterviewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: The play was so real, I thought Iwas actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.

　　我在北達(dá)科他州立大學(xué)教戲劇入門課時(shí)，要求學(xué)生們?nèi)タ磳W(xué)校劇團(tuán)當(dāng)時(shí)的演出，并寫一篇評(píng)論?？戳艘粓?chǎng)極為精彩的演出后，一名學(xué)生寫道：“這部戲劇是如此逼真，以致于我認(rèn)為我自己是坐在家里的沙發(fā)上，從電視上看到的。”

　　(二)

　　免費(fèi)勞動(dòng)力

　　An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison.

　　一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。

　　The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone whowould help him plow up the garden.He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, ForHEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!

　　老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰(shuí)可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”

　　At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened andasking him what to do next.His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.

　　第二天凌晨4點(diǎn)，一隊(duì)英國(guó)士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒有找到任何槍支。”老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發(fā)生了什么事情，下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”