笑話是近年來(lái)語(yǔ)言學(xué)研究比較盛行的話題,其研究方法主要側(cè)重于語(yǔ)用學(xué)研究。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的關(guān)于英語(yǔ)的簡(jiǎn)單笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關(guān)于英語(yǔ)的簡(jiǎn)單笑話大全

　　(一)

　　噪音的優(yōu)點(diǎn)

　　Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply. That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.

　　每當(dāng)我駕駛我那輛舊車時(shí)速超過(guò)55英里時(shí)，它就劇烈地震動(dòng)起來(lái)，所以我決定賣掉它。我的第一位買主想買這輛車。圍繞是否告訴他這輛車的問(wèn)題，我經(jīng)歷了一番良心的較量。終于我做了件正確的事情。我想他會(huì)放棄這個(gè)交易，卻對(duì)他的回答吃了一驚。 “那沒(méi)什么，”他說(shuō)，“我是給我女兒買這車的。如果她抱怨震動(dòng)的話，那我就知道她開(kāi)得太快了。”

　　(二)

　　結(jié)婚禮物和感謝信

　　We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young manor his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently,the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank youvery much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.

　　我們參加了一個(gè)熟人的兒子的婚禮。由于我們都不認(rèn)識(shí)那個(gè)年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個(gè)實(shí)用的全家禮----一個(gè)滅火器。很明顯，這對(duì)新人大批量制作了他們的感謝信，因?yàn)槲覀兪盏搅艘粡埧ㄆ?，上面?xiě)著：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結(jié)婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它。”

　　關(guān)于英語(yǔ)的簡(jiǎn)單笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　我的病就是什么

　　A senile actress went to see a doctor. The doctor enquired : “How old are you?” The actresssaid: “ Twenty-two.” So the doctor scribbled down on her case history : “Amnesia.”

　　一個(gè)徐娘半老的女演員去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生問(wèn)：“您的年齡?”女演員說(shuō)：“22歲。”于是醫(yī)生在病歷上寫(xiě)道：“喪失記憶。”

　　(二)

　　法國(guó)和比基尼

　　The swimsuit posed (提出，擺姿勢(shì))on the T stage for the first time in 1946 at a time when theUnited States did an atomic bomb experiment on the Bikini Island. From then on this type offemale mini-swimsuit divided into two portions that had the same blast force with atomic bombwon another name: Bikini. A reporter interviewed the mayor of Paris at that time, the mayorcommented artfully(巧妙，狡猾) :" There seems no lack of cloth in Paris."

　　1946年泳裝第一次在 T 型臺(tái)亮相，時(shí)值美國(guó)在比基尼島進(jìn)行原子彈試驗(yàn)，這種具有同樣沖擊力的服裝從此 就有了另一個(gè)名字：比基尼。對(duì)于這一分成兩部分的超小女子泳裝，記者采訪了當(dāng)時(shí) 的巴黎市市長(zhǎng)，市長(zhǎng)說(shuō)：“我們巴黎并不缺布吧。”

　　經(jīng)典的關(guān)于英語(yǔ)的簡(jiǎn)單笑話

　　(一)

　　Talking clock 會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。

　　What is the big brass gong(鑼) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied.

　　那個(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?他的一個(gè)朋友問(wèn)他。那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個(gè)會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘，學(xué)生回答。

　　How's it work?Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

　　這鐘怎么工作的，他的朋友問(wèn)?？粗瑒e眨眼了，那學(xué)生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。

　　Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!

　　突然，他們聽(tīng)到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，別敲了，你這白癡!現(xiàn)在是凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘了!

　　(二)

　　研究生和本科生的區(qū)別

　　"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles."When I say,'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate studentsjust write it down."

　　“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區(qū)別開(kāi)來(lái)，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學(xué)給我們研究生上工程學(xué)課的老師如此說(shuō)。“我說(shuō)‘下午好’，本科生們回答說(shuō)‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說(shuō)的話記在筆記本上。”