冷笑話不同于一般笑話,它以其獨(dú)特的制笑機(jī)制,能瞬間創(chuàng)造出一種特殊的氛圍。下面小編整理了爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯，希望大家喜歡!

　　爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯摘抄

　　如此鄰居(中英)

　　Late for an appointment, I dashed out the front door and realized that I had left my keys on the kitchen counter. The back door was unlocked，but a six一foot wooden fence stood between keys and me. The car was parked so that I could stand on it to get up on the fence, but having put on my tightest jeans that morning, I couldn't get my other leg over far enough to reach anything on the other side.

　　約會(huì)馬上就要遲到了，我沖出了前門，接著意識(shí)到我把鑰匙落在了廚房的臺(tái)子上。后門沒(méi)有關(guān)，但是在我和鑰匙之間隔了一排六英尺高的木圍墻。車子就停在木圍墻的旁邊，所以我能踩著爬上圍墻，但是那天早上我恰巧穿的是那條緊身牛仔褲，無(wú)法把另一條腿叉開得足夠遠(yuǎn)，以觸及圍墻那一邊的任何物體。

　　While straddling the fence, my dog nipping at my foot, I noticed a neighbor laughing at my predicament. Just as I was about to fall off and hope for the best, my neighbor cried, “wait” and disappeared into the house. Assuming he was going to get ladder to rescue me, I waited.

　　跨騎在柵欄上，我的狗不時(shí)地咬我的腳，這時(shí)，我發(fā)現(xiàn)有位鄰居正格格地笑我的窘境。正當(dāng)我要跳下去，祈求上帝保佑之時(shí)，那位鄰居嚷道:“等一等!”旋即進(jìn)了屋子。我琢磨著他是去拿梯子來(lái)搭救我，于是我就等著。

　　Minutes later he returned with his wife. "okay,”he yelled, "I just wanted Joanna to see this!”

　　幾分鐘后，他和太太一起回來(lái)了。“好了，”他沖我喊道:“我只是想讓喬安娜也來(lái)瞧瞧。”

　　爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯鑒賞

　　誰(shuí)死的更慘(中英)

　　Three stood by the golden gate and St. Peter said，St. Peter said, “sorry，we' re all filled up, so only one of you can come into heaven. So, out of you three, the one who had the most tragic death of all may enter the heaven.”

　　三個(gè)男人站在天堂門外，圣彼得說(shuō):“對(duì)不起，我們這里已經(jīng)人滿為患你們中只有一個(gè)人能夠進(jìn)人天堂。所以，你們?nèi)齻€(gè)人當(dāng)中死得最慘的那個(gè)才能進(jìn)入。”

　　The first man spoke, "well，I am a newlywed and I tend to get jealous of my wife and her male friends, so I forbid her to see any of them when I was at work. But today I came home early and saw two wine glasses on the coffee table and when I asked my wife what was going on, she blushed and was silent. I searched the entire house for her male friend and finally I spotted someone’s hands grasping the railing on our balcony. In a fit of rage I stomped on the hands until the rascal fell 15 stories down into the bin below. When I realized he was still alive, I unhooked my fridge and throw it over the railing. In the process of doing this, I had a heart attack.”

　　第一個(gè)人說(shuō):“我剛結(jié)婚不久，很嫉妒我的妻子和他的男性朋友，所以在我上班的時(shí)候，我禁止她見任何的男性朋友。但是今天我回家較早，看見咖啡桌上放著兩個(gè)葡萄酒杯，當(dāng)我問(wèn)妻子發(fā)生了什么事情的時(shí)候，她紅著臉不說(shuō)話。我搜遍了整個(gè)屋子想找出那個(gè)男人，最后發(fā)現(xiàn)有個(gè)人的手抓住了我家

　　涼臺(tái)的欄桿。我對(duì)著那雙手就是一陣狂踢，直到那個(gè)流氓從十五樓上掉下去，可惜下面正好有一堆紙箱，當(dāng)我得知他還活著時(shí)，就搬起家里的冰箱從陽(yáng)臺(tái)上向下砸去，然后就突發(fā)心臟病身亡。”

　　St. Peter replied, "wow, that's too bad. Next?"

　　圣彼得說(shuō):“噢，夠慘的。下一個(gè)?”

　　The second man began to speak，` I am a window washer and I was minding my own business and washing the seventeenth story windows at an apartment when my safety rope snapped and I began to fa11.I reached out and in a stroke of luck on to a balcony railing on the fifteenth. I was trying to catch my breath and wait it for someone to rescue me when some lunatic started to stomp on my hands until I lost my grip and fell into the bin below. I opened my eye in disbelief only to see a fridge come crashing down onto my head.”

　　第二個(gè)人說(shuō):“我是一個(gè)窗戶清潔工，一天我正在清洗公寓十七樓的窗戶，安全帶不幸突然崩斷，我開始?jí)嬄?，但幸運(yùn)的是我抓住了十五樓陽(yáng)臺(tái)的欄桿，我屏住了呼吸等著人來(lái)救我，突然有個(gè)神經(jīng)病人亂踢我的手，直到我失手掉進(jìn)下面的一堆紙箱。我睜開眼睛一看，一個(gè)冰箱正朝我的頭上砸來(lái)。”

　　St. Peter replied: "my, my. . . that is bad. Next?"

　　圣彼得說(shuō):“哎喲，……夠慘的。下一個(gè)?”

　　The third man spoke last, "well, I was hiding in the fridge when. . .”

　　第三個(gè)最后說(shuō):“哎，我當(dāng)時(shí)正藏在冰箱里，突然……”

　　爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯賞析

　　他的第二個(gè)妻子(中英)

　　A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young. They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they liked very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them. One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.

　　一個(gè)富翁和他的妻子走進(jìn)一家商店購(gòu)買一個(gè)手鐲。他們倆人絕對(duì)都不年輕了。他們看了許多漂亮的手鐲。半個(gè)小時(shí)后他們終于挑選出兩個(gè)非常中意的手鐲，但是無(wú)法決定二者究竟應(yīng)選哪一個(gè)。其中一個(gè)非常昂貴，另一個(gè)要便宜很多。

　　Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, "Oh, go on. Spend his money. If you don't, he will only spend it on his second wife.”

　　毋庸諱言，店主當(dāng)然希望把那個(gè)貴的賣給他們，因?yàn)檫@樣就能從中賺更多的錢。“哦，快買吧，花他的錢。如果您不這樣，他只會(huì)把錢花在他的第二位妻子身上。”

　　For several seconds nobody said a word，and then the lady said angrily, "I' m his second wife!”

　　大家都默不作聲，幾秒鐘后，那位女士生氣地說(shuō)道:“我就是他的第二個(gè)妻子!”