偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔?。下面小編整理?a href='http://www.zbfsgm.com/english/yuedu/xiaohua/' target='_blank'>英語笑話小短文加翻譯，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語笑話小短文加翻譯摘抄

　　There was this guy who went into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said,“Bartender, are you a betting man?” The bartender replied, "Certainly! I'm ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "I'11 bet you that I can lick my right eye.” The bartender thought about this a while and finally agreed to the bet. The man reached up and pulled out his glass right eye and licked it. The bartender groaned and begrudgingly gave the man his telling him to leave his bar.

　　一個(gè)男子進(jìn)了酒吧間，他走到酒吧男招待面前說道“嘿，男招待，你是個(gè)愛打賭的人嗎?”男招待回答“沒錯(cuò)，我永遠(yuǎn)都是個(gè)賭徒!”那個(gè)人又說:“我和你賭50美元，我可以舔到自己的右眼。”男招待想了想最后同意打這個(gè)賭。那個(gè)男子摘下了他那只玻璃做的右眼，然后舔了一下。男招待哀嘆一聲，極不情愿地付給那人50美元，然后讓他離開了酒吧間。

　　A week or so later, the same man appeared in the bar. He went up to the bar- tender and said, "Bartender, are you still a betting man?" The bartender replied, "Certainly! I told you I' m ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "I'll bet you 0 that I can bite my left eye.” Well, the bartender thought he had him on this one! There was no way that he had TWO glass eyes so the bartender agreed. The man reached up to his mouth, pulled out his dentures and clicked them on his left eye. The bartender moaned and paid the man his 0 telling him to get out of his bar.

　　大約一周后，那個(gè)男人再次來到酒吧間，又問那個(gè)男招待:“伙計(jì)，你是個(gè)愛打賭的人嗎?”男招待回答:“是的，我告訴過你的，我永遠(yuǎn)是個(gè)賭徒!”男人接著說:“這次我出100美元，賭我能咬到自己的左眼。”男招待想了想。他認(rèn)為那個(gè)人的兩只眼睛不可能都是玻璃的，于是他同意和那個(gè)人打這個(gè)賭。只見那人把手放進(jìn)嘴里，然后掏出一幅假牙，用假牙碰了一下自己的左眼。男招待一邊抱怨著一邊掏出100美元交給了那個(gè)人，并把他轟出了酒吧。

　　A week or so later, the same man ventured into the bar again. He went up to the bartender and said，"Bartender, are you still a betting man? "The bartender said, although with a little caution this time, "Certainly! I told you I’m ALWAYS a betting man!” To which the man said, "Give me a shot of whiskey.” The bartender poured the man a shot and he drank it down. Slamming the glass on the bar he said, "I’11 bet you 0 that you can spin me around on this bar stool and I can piss in that glass right where it lays and not miss a drop.”Well，the bartender' s eyes lit up. Here was one time that he was certain that he would win!" Agreed! ” he cried. Coming out from around the bar, he grabbed onto the man's bar stool and spun it as hard as he could.

　　一個(gè)多星期后，那個(gè)人第三次來到酒吧間，他走到男招待跟前說:“男招待，你還是不是個(gè)賭徒了?”這一次男招待顯得有些猶豫，但他還是答道:“千真萬確!我告訴過你，我永遠(yuǎn)是個(gè)賭徒。”那個(gè)男人說:“給我一杯威士忌。”男招待給他倒了一杯，那人一飲而盡。然后砰地一聲把酒杯放到桌上，說道:“我坐在這個(gè)凳子上，你用力推椅子讓我旋轉(zhuǎn)起來，然后我往酒杯里撒尿，并保證決不會(huì)濺到外面。如果我輸了，我給你500美元。”“行!”，男招待頓時(shí)眼睛一亮，他認(rèn)為這次自己贏定了。于是喊道“同意!”。他從吧臺后面走出來，用手抓住那個(gè)人坐的椅子，然后使出渾身的力量使勁一推。

　　Well，the man just let loose and piss flew everyplace! Not so much as one drop even came close to the glass and the bartender was soaked. When he was done，the bartender was laughing and laughing and holding out his hand. The man pulled out his wallet and gave him his 0. But the bar- tender was puzzled and as he was wiping off his face, he asked the man, "Why did you bet me 0 that you could piss in that shot glass on the bar when you had to have known there wasn’t any possible way to do it?”

　　那個(gè)人把尿?yàn)R的哪都是。因?yàn)槟姓写x的太近，所以全身都被澆濕了。等那人的椅子停下之后，男招待仰天大笑，一邊笑一邊伸出手。那個(gè)人拿出錢包從里面掏出500美元交給了男招待。然而男招待卻感到迷惑不解，他一邊用手絹擦著臉一邊問:“明明知道那是不可能的事情你為什么還要賭500美元呢?”

　　The man just smiled and told him, "You may have won 0 off me but I bet that

　　guy over in the corner , 000 that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would just laugh”

　　那個(gè)人笑了笑說:“你是燕了500美元，但是我和那邊那個(gè)人打了10000美元的賭，我說當(dāng)我尿你一身的時(shí)候你不但不會(huì)生氣，反而還會(huì)沖著我大笑。”

　　英語笑話小短文加翻譯鑒賞

　　The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says, "Glad to see you; we've got your place all ready.” Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.

　　教皇死后升人了天堂。圣彼得向他問候:“見到你很高興，我們一切都已經(jīng)為您安排好了。然后圣彼得把教皇帶到街上領(lǐng)他去看新房子。一棟有五間房子的小巧舒適的別墅。圣彼得建議教皇住下來，然后再去四處看看其他的居民。

　　The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope is astounded to see a 45一room mansion, with built一in sauna and weight room, a beautiful library, and spacious，airy rooms.

　　教皇在這里不僅遇到了許多老朋友，而且還結(jié)交了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律師請教皇吃飯，等到了他家，教皇一下子驚呆了，那是一棟有45間房的大廈，里面還有桑拿間、健身房、漂亮的圖書館、寬敞明亮的房間。

　　After lunch，the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cot while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion.

　　午飯后，教皇在街上又遇到了圣彼得，于是問道:“我可不是抱怨啊!為什么只給我一個(gè)小別墅而那個(gè)律師卻有那么豪華的大廈?”

　　St. Peter replied，Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer.”

　　圣彼得回答說:“你看，我們這里有很多位教皇，而律師卻只有他一人。”

　　英語笑話小短文加翻譯賞析

　　Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:

　　有一天晚上，我針對一個(gè)自己討厭的人所做的事情簡直是妙極了:

　　I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the headwaiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table since he and his "wife" was celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.

　　我看到他正和一個(gè)情人坐在飯館里的一個(gè)不被人注意的角落里。我走到領(lǐng)班跟前對他說:為了慶祝我的朋友和妻子結(jié)婚十周年，我想讓他給那兩個(gè)人的桌上送去一份蛋糕。

　　If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to your table, you can imagine what happened next.

　　在像柏里甘思這樣的地方，當(dāng)男女服務(wù)員給你的桌子上送蛋糕時(shí)他們介一邊唱歌一邊敲打著水壺。你可以想象接下來會(huì)發(fā)生什么。

　　Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler marched over to their table singing" Happy Anniversary, Carole and Mark…Happy… Happy…Happy… Anniversary.

　　四個(gè)男服務(wù)員和三個(gè)女服務(wù)員手里端著插有蠟燭的蛋糕，一邊走一邊唱“凱茹樂，馬克，祝你們周年快樂。”

　　Talk about someone looking for the exits!

　　現(xiàn)在正有人忙著找出去的門呢!