短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)選集摘抄

　　笑話(huà)理解起來(lái)不用動(dòng)腦筋,可以達(dá)到思維方式和精神上放松的目的;它蘊(yùn)藏了蓄勢(shì)待發(fā)的下一波主流文化,可發(fā)掘年輕人洞察力的細(xì)節(jié)。下面小編整理了短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)選集，希望大家喜歡!

　　短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)選集摘抄

　　慷慨(中英)

　　An Italian walks into a bar with a bad knee and notices a guy sitting at the end of the bar. He walks to the bartender and asks who it is. The bartender tells him it is Jesus. The Italian orders a drink for himself and Jesus.

　　一個(gè)意大利人一瘸一拐地走進(jìn)了一個(gè)酒吧，他注意到酒吧里的一個(gè)人，于是就走到酒吧服務(wù)員那里問(wèn)那個(gè)人是誰(shuí)。酒吧服務(wù)員告訴他那個(gè)人是耶穌。那個(gè)意大利人點(diǎn)了一杯酒，也給耶穌點(diǎn)了一杯。

　　Next, a mute walks in. He asks if that is Jesus. He then orders a drink for himself and for Jesus.

　　接著，一個(gè)啞巴走了進(jìn)來(lái)。他過(guò)去問(wèn)那個(gè)人是否是耶穌。然后他也為自己和耶穌各點(diǎn)了一杯酒。

　　Finally, a redneck walks in and orders a drink for himself and Jesus. A few minutes later, Jesus gets up and goes to the Italian. He thanks him for his generosity and heals him Jesus walks over to the mute, thanks him, and heals him Then, he walks over to the redneck. The redneck jumps up and shouts, "Don't heal me, I've no disability

　　最后，一個(gè)農(nóng)民走進(jìn)來(lái)也給自己和耶穌點(diǎn)了酒。過(guò)了幾分鐘，耶穌站了起來(lái)走到那個(gè)意大利人跟前。他感謝了那個(gè)意大利人的慷慨并且治愈了他的腿。耶穌又來(lái)到了那個(gè)啞巴跟前，謝了他之后也治愈了他的殘疾。最后，他走到農(nóng)民這里。那個(gè)農(nóng)民跳了起來(lái)大喊道:“不要治我，我沒(méi)有殘疾!”

　　短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)選集鑒賞

　　司機(jī)與比爾•克林頓(中英)

　　Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instant1y. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.

　　一天晚上，比爾·克林頓和他的司機(jī)驅(qū)車(chē)行駛在鄉(xiāng)村的公路上，意外的撞死了一頭豬。克林頓讓司機(jī)去向農(nóng)場(chǎng)的主人解釋所發(fā)生的一切。

　　About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and tom. "What happened to you，”asked Bill. "Well, the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me.” "My God, what did you tell them"，asked Clinton. The driver replied, "I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and 1 just killed the pig.”

　　大約一小時(shí)后，克林頓看見(jiàn)司機(jī)搖搖晃晃的回來(lái)了，一手拿著一瓶葡萄酒，另一只手拿著香煙，衣服破爛不堪?？肆诸D疑惑地問(wèn):“發(fā)生了什么事?”司機(jī)回答說(shuō):“沒(méi)什么，農(nóng)場(chǎng)主給我葡萄酒，他老婆給我香煙，他們19歲的女兒瘋狂地愛(ài)上了我。”“哦，_L帝，你到底對(duì)他們說(shuō)了些什么?”司機(jī)回答“我是比爾·克林頓的司機(jī)，而且剛剛撞死了那頭豬。”

　　短篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)選集賞析

　　賺錢(qián)(中英)

　　A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

　　一個(gè)年輕人向一位老富翁請(qǐng)教如何賺錢(qián)。

　　The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said，"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and，at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month，by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of class="main">