英語爆笑笑話

　　笑話作為一種特殊的語體有其自身的特點(diǎn)。對(duì)于笑話為什么引人發(fā)笑,可以從心理學(xué)的角度去分析,也可以從修辭學(xué)、邏輯學(xué)的角度去認(rèn)識(shí)。下面小編整理了英語爆笑笑話 ，希望大家喜歡!

　　英語爆笑笑話 ：If only倘若

　　A man is driving up a steep,narrow mountain road .

　　有個(gè)男人駕著車沿著一條又陡峭又窄小的山路往上開。

　　A woman is driving down the same road .

　　有個(gè)女人沿著同一條路往下開著車。

　　As they pass ench other ,

　　當(dāng)他們彼此錯(cuò)車時(shí)，

　　the woman leans out of the window and yells"PI!!"

　　這個(gè)女人斜靠著車窗向外太喊：“豬!”

　　The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!"

　　這個(gè)男人立刻也斜靠著他的車窗向外大聲響應(yīng)：“臭女人.!”

　　They each continue on their way ,

　　他們各自繼續(xù)開車上路，

　　and as the man ronds the next corner ,

　　當(dāng)這個(gè)男人繞到下一個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)彎處的時(shí)候，

　　he crashes into a pig in the middle of road .

　　他競(jìng)撞上了在路中央的一只豬。

　　If only men would listen.

　　倘若男人會(huì)聽話就沒事了。

　　英語爆笑笑話 ：Lazy Manager 懶惰的經(jīng)理

　　A middle management executive has to take on some sports,by his doctor's ,

　　有一位中階經(jīng)營(yíng)主管因?yàn)槁犃怂尼t(yī)師指示必須要做一些運(yùn)動(dòng)，

　　so he decides to play tennis .

　　所以他決定要打網(wǎng)球。

　　After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing

　　在幾個(gè)星期之后，他韻秘書就問他情況如何，

　　"It's going fine" ,the manager says."When I am on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me ,

　　這位經(jīng)理說：“進(jìn)行得不錯(cuò)，當(dāng)我在網(wǎng)球場(chǎng)上看到球快速朝著我來的時(shí)候，

　　and my brain immediately says,"Back hand!To the net!Smash !Go back"

　　我的腦袋就立刻說：‘反手拍!上網(wǎng)!殺球!后退! ”

　　"Really?What happens then?" the secretary asks .

　　秘書問說：“真的呀，然后嚨?”

　　"Then my bady says ,"Who 、 Me?Don't talk nonsense!"

　　“然后我的身體說：‘誰?我嗎?別胡說八道了!”’

　　英語爆笑笑話 ：A case for the FBI聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局的案件

　　The phone rings at FBI headquarters . "Hello?"

　　聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局總部的電話響了。“ 喂?”

　　"Hello,is this FBI?"

　　“喂，是聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局嗎?…”

　　"Yes,What do you want?"

　　“是的，有何需要嗎.?”

　　"I am calling to report my neighbor Tom.He is hiding marijuana in his firewood ."

　　“我打電話是要檢舉我的鄰居 湯姆。他在他的木柴中藏匿大麻。”

　　"This will be noted." Next day,the FBI comes over to Tom's house.

　　“我們會(huì)嚴(yán)加注意的。”次日，聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局來到湯姆的家。

　　They search the shed where the firewood is kept,break every piece of wood ,find no marijuana,swear at Tom and leave .

　　他們搜查了存放木柴的庫(kù)房，把木柴劈成一塊一塊，沒有找到太麻，就對(duì)著湯姆口出穢言，然后離去。

　　The phone rings at Tom's house.

　　湯姆家的電話響了。

　　" Hey ,Tom! Did the FBI come ?"

　　“喂，湯姆，聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局有來你家嗎?”

　　"Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?"

　　“有呀”“他們‘有劈你們家的木柴嗎?”

　　"Yeah,they did."

　　“有呀，他們劈了呀”

　　"OK,now it's your turn to call .I need my garden plowed."

　　“好了，現(xiàn)在換你打電話了，我的菜園需要犁一下啦。”

　　英語爆笑笑話 ：The visit to the doctor拜訪醫(yī)師

　　A Man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred .

　　一個(gè)男人問他的醫(yī)師是否認(rèn)為他會(huì)活到一百歲。

　　The doctor asked the man ,"Do you smoke or drink ?"

　　醫(yī)師問這個(gè)男人：“你抽煙或喝酒嗎?”

　　" No ,"he replied , "I have never done either ."

　　他回答說：“不，我從不抽煙喝酒。”

　　" Do you gamble,drive fast cars ,and fool around with woman?" inquired the doctor .

　　醫(yī)師問說：“你賭博、開快車、玩女人嗎?”

　　"No,I have done any of those things either."

　　“不，我也從不干那些事情。”

　　"Well then," said the doctor ," what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"

　　醫(yī)師說：“那你干嗎要活到一百歲呀?”