近年來(lái),冷笑話在電視媒體以及網(wǎng)絡(luò)上廣為流傳,帶來(lái)了一場(chǎng)嶄新的語(yǔ)言風(fēng)暴。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全 ，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇一

　　Bad Day at Work糟糕的上班日

　　A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.

　　有一名男子加入一家大型跨國(guó)。公司接受訓(xùn)練。

　　On his first day at work,he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,

　　在他上班的第一天，他撥電話到餐飲室，并且，對(duì)著電話大聲喊!

　　"Get me a coffee quickly!"

　　“ 快點(diǎn)給我送杯咖啡過(guò)來(lái)!”

　　The voice from the other side responded,

　　電話另外-端的聲音卻響應(yīng)說(shuō):

　　"You fool you have dialed the wrong extension!Do you know who you are talking to,dumbo?"

　　“你這個(gè)笨蛋，你撥錯(cuò)分機(jī)了!蠢蛋，你知道你在跟誰(shuí)說(shuō)話嗎?”這名受訓(xùn)的人回答說(shuō)，

　　"No,"replied the trainee.

　　“不知道。”“你這個(gè)笨蛋，我是公司的總經(jīng)理。”

　　The man shouted back immediately,

　　這名男子立刻大聲吼回去：

　　"And do you know who you are talking to,you fool?"

　　“你這個(gè)笨蛋，你知道你在跟誰(shuí)說(shuō)話嗎?…總經(jīng)理回答：

　　"No,replied the General Manager.

　　“不知道。”這名受訓(xùn) 的人周答說(shuō)：

　　"Good !",replied the trainee and then put down the phone!

　　“很好!”，然后就把電話給掛了。

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇二

　　Liar,Liar 騙子，騙子

　　A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.

　　老婆與隔壁鄰居到警察局報(bào)案 說(shuō)她的老公失蹤了。

　　The policeman asked her for a description.

　　警察要求，她形容一下。

　　She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athletic build,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

　　她說(shuō)：“他三十五歲，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪狀的深色頭發(fā);體格健壯，體重185磅，說(shuō)話很輕乘，而且對(duì)小孩子很好。”

　　The next-door neighbor protested,

　　隔壁鄰居期提出反駁說(shuō)：

　　"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

　　“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，禿頭，有一個(gè)太嘴巴，而且對(duì)你的小孩稂刻薄。”

　　The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

　　老婆回答說(shuō)：“你說(shuō)對(duì)了，可是誰(shuí)會(huì)要 這種沒(méi)用的廢物 回來(lái)呀?”

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇三

　　A Henpecked Husband怕老婆的老公

　　A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

　　有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治療師的建議要堅(jiān)持自己的主見(jiàn)。

　　"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

　　他說(shuō)：“你不必讓你的老婆像惡霸一樣欺侮你。回家去讓她知道你才是老大。”

　　The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

　　這位老公決定接受醫(yī)生的勸告。他回到家，用力啪答一聲關(guān)上門(mén)，在他老婆的面前：揮舞著拳頭，并且大聲咆哮說(shuō)：

　　From now on you are talking orders from me.

　　“從現(xiàn)在起，你得乖乖聽(tīng)我的命令。

　　I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

　　我現(xiàn)在就要吃晚餐，當(dāng)你把它弄好放在餐桌上的時(shí)候，到樓上去把我的衣服擺放好。

　　Tonight I am going out with my friends.

　　今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，

　　You are going to stay at home where you belong.

　　你給我乖乖待在家里不許亂跑。

　　Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

　　另外還有一件事情，你知道誰(shuí)要替我打蝴蝶結(jié)領(lǐng)結(jié)嗎?”

　　I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

　　老婆尖叫著說(shuō):“我當(dāng)然知道。是收尸的人。”