關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話大全
笑話可能只是文字游戲,但有時(shí)它在人們解決生活中的困惑時(shí)起著重要作用。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇一
火雞就是不肯老實(shí)地坐著
This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite lonely on Thanksgiving. She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for herself. She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the results. When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready-made soup and pizza were great, she had quite a trouble with turkey. Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it mom. It simply wouldn't sit still!"
一位養(yǎng)尊處優(yōu)的年輕小姐頭一回離家去上大學(xué)，到了感恩節(jié)她倍感孤單。她決定為自己做一頓感恩節(jié)大餐。她正在向自己的母親描述自己第一次做飯的經(jīng)歷，而母親也很想知道結(jié)果如何。當(dāng)被問(wèn)及做得好不好吃，這位小姐打了一個(gè)顫說(shuō)，盡管速食湯和批薩不錯(cuò)，但是烹飪火雞時(shí)卻遇到了不小的麻煩。她的母親想找到問(wèn)題的根源，于是就問(wèn)她：“是不是烤焦了?”這位小姐回答道：“哦，我沒(méi)法品嘗它，媽媽?；痣u就是不肯老實(shí)地坐著!”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇二
總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車(chē).接近門(mén)口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過(guò)來(lái),沒(méi)想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了.她的慣性使她接近了我的腳.我正準(zhǔn)備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來(lái).她鎮(zhèn)定了一下,對(duì)我擠了一下眉,說(shuō)道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇三
鳥(niǎo)窩與頭發(fā)
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
鳥(niǎo)窩與頭發(fā)
我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師。一次一個(gè)學(xué)生告訴她說(shuō)一只鳥(niǎo)兒在教室外樹(shù)上壘了個(gè)窩。
“是什么鳥(niǎo)呢?”我姐姐問(wèn)她。
“我沒(méi)看到鳥(niǎo)兒，老師，只看到鳥(niǎo)窩。”那孩子回答說(shuō)。
“那么，你能給我們描述一下這個(gè)鳥(niǎo)巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵(lì)她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭發(fā)一樣。”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇四
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)
一位車(chē)上的列車(chē)員剛發(fā)出信號(hào)讓火車(chē)啟動(dòng)，這時(shí)他看見(jiàn)一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺(tái)上一節(jié)打開(kāi)的車(chē)廂門(mén)旁邊，跟車(chē)廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說(shuō)話。
“快點(diǎn)，小姐!”他喊道：“請(qǐng)把門(mén)關(guān)上。”
“噢，我還沒(méi)有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
“請(qǐng)把門(mén)關(guān)上好了，”列車(chē)員說(shuō)：“其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)。”
關(guān)于英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇五
Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一個(gè)形跡可疑的人開(kāi)車(chē)來(lái)到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車(chē)行李箱時(shí)，驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)了六個(gè)接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。
“里面裝的是什么?”他問(wèn)道。
“土。”司機(jī)回答。
“把袋子拿出來(lái)”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”
那人順從地把口袋搬了出來(lái)。確實(shí)，口袋里除了土以外，別無(wú)他特。哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過(guò)了。
一周后，那人又來(lái)了，哨兵再次檢查汽車(chē)上的行李箱。
“這次袋子里裝的是什么?”他問(wèn)道。
“土，又運(yùn)了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，對(duì)那些袋子又進(jìn)行了檢查，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)，除了土以外，仍舊一無(wú)所獲。
同樣的事情每周重演一次，一共持續(xù)了六個(gè)月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，干脆辭職去當(dāng)了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那個(gè)形跡可疑的人碰巧途經(jīng)酒吧，下車(chē)喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對(duì)他說(shuō)，“我說(shuō)，老兄，你要是能幫我一個(gè)忙，今晚的酒就歸我請(qǐng)客。你能不能告訴我，那段時(shí)間你到底在走私什么東西?”
那人俯身過(guò)來(lái)，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開(kāi)嘴笑嘻嘻地說(shuō)：“汽車(chē)。”
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