讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話以其短小的篇幅,洗練的文筆,幽默的情節(jié),獨(dú)有的魅力吸引著我們每一個(gè)人,成為大家茶余飯后的調(diào)味劑。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Open-book exam開卷考試
ON THE DAY of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks.
我在加利福尼亞的圣瑪麗亞市一所社區(qū)大學(xué)讀書。期末考試那天，聽說(shuō)書店在回購(gòu)我們的工商管理課本。
Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.
考試前，我們幾個(gè)趕忙跑到書店把書賣了，隨后，我們坐在教室里等著考試。這時(shí)候教授宣布：考慮到試題的難度，今天的考試我們決定開卷。
讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Taking attendance 點(diǎn)名
On my first day of classes at my University I took a front-row seat in my literature course.
大學(xué)的第一天，文學(xué)課我坐在了前排。
The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began,
教授告訴我們這學(xué)期必須得讀五本書，他提供我們可供選擇的作者名單。隨后他緩步走上講臺(tái)，拿出課本，
"Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."
“貝克、布萊克、布魯斯、卡特、庫(kù)克…”為了寫下所有的名字，我不得不瘋狂的作著記錄。這時(shí)有人輕輕的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的學(xué)生悄悄告訴我：“他在點(diǎn)名呢。”
讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
你太晚了 You are too late
On a bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. MY wife did it before you."
在公共汽車上，有個(gè)人發(fā)現(xiàn)小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里o
"對(duì)不起,"他對(duì)小偷說(shuō)，"你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做過(guò)同樣的事情了。”
讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
What is your offense 你做了什么壞事
It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”
圣誕佳節(jié)到來(lái)，法官心情愉悅地問(wèn)犯人：“你做了什么壞事啊?”
“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.
“我今年圣誕節(jié)購(gòu)物早了些”犯人回答。
“There's nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. How early were you doing this shopping?”
“這么做沒錯(cuò)啊，”法官說(shuō)：“到底多早之前啊?“
“Before the store opened, ”answered the prisoner.
“商店開門之前“犯人答道。
讓人笑不停的英語(yǔ)笑話篇五
Problem with gas
放屁的問(wèn)題
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ¨Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never small and are always silent.
有位小老太太去看醫(yī)生，她對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)：”醫(yī)生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實(shí)也不是大問(wèn)題，因?yàn)槲曳牌ú怀舳?a href='http://www.zbfsgm.com/it/meishengyin/' target='_blank'>沒聲音。
As a matter Of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know l was farting because they don't smell and are silent.” The doctor says, ¨I see, Here's aprescription.
事實(shí)上，自從我進(jìn)了你辦公室后，已經(jīng)放了至少20個(gè)屁了，但是你并不知道對(duì)吧，因?yàn)槲业钠ú怀?，而且還沒聲音。"醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“好的，我明白了。
Take these piles 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, ¨I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent... stink terribly.
吃這個(gè)藥片，一天三次連續(xù)吃七天，下星期你再來(lái)。一個(gè)星期后，老太太來(lái)了，¨醫(yī)生，你到底給的我什么藥，現(xiàn)在我放屁還是沒聲音。
The doctor says, “Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
但是怎么這么臭"醫(yī)生說(shuō)：太好了!既然你的嗅覺正常了，門開始治聽覺吧。¨
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