經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀
笑話是實(shí)際生活中客觀存在的，作為文學(xué)式樣，它的特征是戲謔、諷刺，其功能是啟迪、警示。它淵源流長(zhǎng)、值得研究、探討。 下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀，歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀篇一
The doctor lives downstairs
醫(yī)生住在樓下
"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”
”醫(yī)生“她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什么病。"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."
他從頭到腳打量了她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會(huì)變美。第三，我是一位畫(huà)家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀篇二
Are you a normal person?
你精神正常嗎?
During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
一個(gè)參觀者在參觀一所精神病院的時(shí)候問(wèn)院長(zhǎng)，”你們是用什么標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)決定一個(gè)人是否應(yīng)該進(jìn)精神病院呢?””哦……¨院長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“是這樣，我們先給一個(gè)浴缸放滿水，然后我們給病人一個(gè)茶匙，一個(gè)茶杯和一個(gè)水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，參觀者說(shuō)，”正常人會(huì)選擇水桶，因?yàn)樗氨炔璩缀筒璞娜莘e大。””錯(cuò)了”，院長(zhǎng)回答道，正常人會(huì)把浴缸塞子拔掉。
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀篇三
Who's going deaf ?
誰(shuí)要聾了?
A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ? "
丈夫告訴醫(yī)生："我想我的妻子快要聾了，我可以做些什么呢?"
The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is." The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner ? " He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner ? " He repeats this severaltimes, until he's standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"
醫(yī)生告訴他："嗯，先嘗試測(cè)測(cè)她的聽(tīng)力吧。站在離她有一段距離的地方，問(wèn)一個(gè)問(wèn)題，如果她沒(méi)有回答，走近一點(diǎn)再問(wèn)一遍.一直重復(fù)直到她回答為止。這樣我們就可以知道情況有多糟了。“丈夫回到家，看見(jiàn)妻子便問(wèn)：¨親愛(ài)的，晚餐吃什么?¨他沒(méi)有聽(tīng)到回答，于是走近一點(diǎn)再問(wèn)：¨親愛(ài)的，晚餐吃什么呢?這樣重復(fù)了好幾次，直到他就站在妻子旁邊了。
終于，她回答了：¨這是第十次了，我說(shuō)我們吃燉肉.
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀篇四
a guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. he asks, "what was that for ?"she says, " i found a piece of paper in your pocket with'betty sue' written on it.' ha says, "jeez,honey, 'betty sue'was the name of the horse i bet on.h she shrugs and walks away.
一個(gè)家伙正在看報(bào)紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問(wèn)道：“這是為什么?”她說(shuō)：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫(xiě)有‘betty sue’的紙條。"他說(shuō)：¨哎呀，親愛(ài)的，‘bettysue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字?？谒柫寺柤?，走了。
three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. he asks, "what was that for?一she answers, "your horse called."
三天后，他正在看報(bào)紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問(wèn)：這又是為什么?“她答道：-你的馬打電話來(lái)了。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)短小笑話閱讀篇五
An absent-minded husband
心不在焉的丈夫
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他帶著他的筆記本電腦。到了機(jī)場(chǎng)出口處時(shí)， 有位檢查員要他打開(kāi)包。但是包鎖上了，機(jī)場(chǎng)工作人員耐心地等著我那窘迫的丈夫設(shè)法回想起暗鎖的密碼。最后他終于想起來(lái)了。
“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.
”你為什么那么緊張呢?“我問(wèn)他。
"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary.my husband confessed.
“密碼是我們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日。”他承認(rèn)道”
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