超級(jí)搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)
除了民間口頭流傳的笑話(huà)外,成書(shū)的笑話(huà)集也是讀書(shū)人經(jīng)史子集之外不可或缺的閑趣。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的超級(jí)搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)，歡迎閱讀!
超級(jí)搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇一
Put Yourself in My place 設(shè)身處地替人想一想
Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse. Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.
某一農(nóng)場(chǎng)上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來(lái)了。
“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that shithouse, Mom.”
“那個(gè)茅房什么問(wèn)題也沒(méi)有啊，孩子的娘。”
Mom took Dad back to the outhouse and stuck his head down in the hole.
老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進(jìn)茅坑當(dāng)中。
“Hey,” said Dad, “my beard is stuck!”
“嘿!”老爸說(shuō)道“，我的胡子粘住了!”
“Aggravatin’, ain’t it?”
“問(wèn)題嚴(yán)重了，是不是呢?”
超級(jí)搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇二
A Satisfied Customer 一位心滿(mǎn)意足的客戶(hù)
A rough-looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.“I wanna open a god-damned checking account.”
有一位相貌粗魯?shù)募一镒哌M(jìn)銀行對(duì)柜臺(tái)職員說(shuō)：“我想開(kāi)個(gè)你他媽的活期存款賬戶(hù)。”
“Certainly, sir,” replied the young lady, “but there’s no need to use that kind of language.”
“當(dāng)然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說(shuō)“，但沒(méi)有必要使用那種字眼。”
“Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I’m in a hurry.”
“嘿，你他媽的能不能快一點(diǎn)嗎?我在趕時(shí)間呢!”
“Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way.”
“先生，我不習(xí)慣別人那樣子對(duì)我說(shuō)話(huà)。”
“I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?”
“我要開(kāi)一個(gè) 的活期存款賬戶(hù)，而且要現(xiàn)在就辦，懂了嗎?”
“Sir, I’m going to get the manager,” said the indignant young lady.
“先生，我去 找經(jīng)理來(lái)”氣憤的年輕小姐說(shuō)著。
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white-haired gentleman, who asked, “What seems to be the trouble, sir?”
不久她帶了經(jīng)理回來(lái)，那位滿(mǎn)頭白發(fā)、看起來(lái)很莊嚴(yán)的老先生問(wèn) 道“：先生，到底有什問(wèn)題嗎?”
“I just won $ 10.000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account.”
“我剛中彩券得了一千萬(wàn)美元，我想開(kāi)個(gè)你他媽的活期存款賬戶(hù)。”
“I see,”said the manager warmly. “And this bitch is giving you trouble?”
“我知道了，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)道“，而這個(gè)臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?”
超級(jí)搞笑的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇三
Charity Begins at Home 茲善應(yīng)由家中做起
Sam Sidney was going dorr to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitable organization of which he was a member. One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.
山姆 希德尼正挨家挨戶(hù)推銷(xiāo)他所屬的一家慈善機(jī)構(gòu)的彩券基金，有一天早上他敲了蘇利文太太的門(mén)。
“Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society,” said Sam.
“您早!蘇利文太太，我是代表南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)的。”
“What’s it that you say?” croaked the old lady.
“你說(shuō)什么啊?”老太太大聲問(wèn)道。
“I SAY I’M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY!”
“我說(shuō)我正為南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)賣(mài)彩券!”
“EH?”
“哦?”
“RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY!
“彩券!南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)!”
“You’ll have to speak up, young man; there’s no use mumbling.”
“你應(yīng)當(dāng)說(shuō)大聲點(diǎn)，年輕人，喃喃低語(yǔ)是沒(méi)用的。”
“Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan,” said Sam under his breath as he turned away.
“喔!干 ，蘇利文太太!”山姆離開(kāi)時(shí)屏氣說(shuō)。
Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, “Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and Social Society.”
蘇利文太太關(guān)門(mén)說(shuō)道：“去你媽的，南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)!”
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