經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話
笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創(chuàng)作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話篇一
A Thank-you Note
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
一封感謝信
有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個(gè)我曾幫助過(guò)的朋友寄來(lái)的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過(guò)了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫(xiě)道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒(méi)中獎(jiǎng)。”
經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話篇二
Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"
"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you're insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"
"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."
報(bào)喪方式
郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并養(yǎng)了一只貓叫埃德格。詹姆斯特別喜歡這只貓。有一次他要外出幾天，臨行前不厭其煩地囑咐郝伯特照顧好這只寵物。出門后的頭一天晚上，他打來(lái)電話詢問(wèn)：“埃德格好嗎?”
“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一陣沉默之后，詹姆斯說(shuō)：“郝伯特，你真沒(méi)心沒(méi)肺，你知道我多么喜歡埃德格----你應(yīng)該把這個(gè)消息慢慢地告訴我。當(dāng)我問(wèn)起埃德格今晚怎樣時(shí)，你應(yīng)該說(shuō)，‘埃德格爬上了屋頂，我已給消防隊(duì)打了電話，讓他們把它救下來(lái)。’我明天又給你打電話時(shí)，你應(yīng)該說(shuō)消防隊(duì)營(yíng)救埃德格遇到了困難，但你相信他們會(huì)成功。在我第三天給你打電話時(shí)，你可以說(shuō)消防隊(duì)員已盡了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格從屋頂上掉了下來(lái)，被送到獸醫(yī)那里。在我最后一次給你打電話詢問(wèn)，你可以說(shuō)盡管對(duì)埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它還是死了。這是一個(gè)富有感情的人告訴我埃德格的消息時(shí)所用的方式。哦，趁我沒(méi)忘記還有件事順便問(wèn)一下，”詹姆斯補(bǔ)充道，“母親好嗎?”
“哦……”一陣沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋頂。”
經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話篇三
Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.
Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
Notes:
(1) bachelor n.單身漢
(2) court v.向求愛(ài);追求
(3) boil over 沸騰而溢出(本文指全身心地投入付出)
(4) simmer v.(做菜時(shí))煨(本文指見(jiàn)好就收)
(5) whim n.一時(shí)的興致;奇想
(6) look up探訪
要否結(jié)婚
弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。
他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”
經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話篇四
離事故有多遠(yuǎn)?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
一位木匠正在為他目擊的一起事故作證。
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
法官問(wèn)他當(dāng)時(shí)離事發(fā)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)有多遠(yuǎn)。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官問(wèn)：“什么?你怎么能這樣確定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定會(huì)有傻瓜問(wèn)我這個(gè)問(wèn)題，所以我事先測(cè)量了一下。”
經(jīng)典的爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話篇五
你納稅了嗎?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.
一個(gè)神色緊張的納稅人正悶悶不樂(lè)地和前來(lái)查帳的國(guó)稅局的稅務(wù)審計(jì)員交談。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
審計(jì)員一度大聲地說(shuō)，“Carelton先生，我們認(rèn)為能在美國(guó)生活和工作是莫大的榮幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作為一個(gè)美國(guó)公民，您也有納稅的義務(wù)。我們希望您能無(wú)比樂(lè)意地帶著微笑來(lái)納稅。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“謝天謝地”，Carelton先生咧著嘴大笑地回答，“我還以為你們是要我?guī)еX來(lái)交稅呢!”
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