簡單的英語笑話
簡單的英語笑話
笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個(gè)民族的生存環(huán)境、生活方式、社會(huì)關(guān)系和心理特征等等。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的簡單爆笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇一
Settle down and settle up 一字之差
When my brother, a notorious1 spender, came home for a visit, he told my father he was going to get married and settle down. Dad said, "Why don't you stay single and settle up."
我的哥哥是個(gè)有名的揮霍者。他回家來時(shí)，告訴父親說他要結(jié)婚了，要安定下來。父親說：“你為什么不實(shí)行獨(dú)身主義，先把欠債還清呢?”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇二
To Drum Up Business 招攬生意
A man accidentally slipped on a banana peel(香蕉皮) and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt, but had his dignity somewhat ruffled1.
When he got better a moment later, he found a number of people standing2 round in a circle. He said angrily, "What are these idlers doing here.?"
"They are not idlers," explained his friend. "This man is a doctor. He wants to look you over." That man is a lawyer. He is ready to file suit for you. And a producer of comic films is waiting for you to sign a contract agreeing to work for him."
有個(gè)人不小心踩到一塊香蕉皮上，滑到的樣子非?；?，引人發(fā)笑。他沒有受傷，只是有點(diǎn)難情。
過了一會(huì)兒他感覺好些了的時(shí)候，發(fā)覺有好幾個(gè)人圍著他站成一圈。他很不高興地說：“這些閑人在這里干什么呢?”
他的朋友解釋說：“他們不是閑人。這個(gè)人是醫(yī)生，他想給你檢查一下。那個(gè)人是律師，他準(zhǔn)備為你起訴。另一個(gè)人是喜劇電影的制片人，他在等你和他訂一個(gè)同意去給他拍片的合約。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇三
Giving Degrees 授予學(xué)位
Woodrow Wilson disapproved1 very strongly of indiscriminate(無差別的) giving of honorary degrees when he was president of Princeton University.
He said, "Our universities have learned recently to give honorary degrees carefully. But in the past it was very promiscuous2(混雜的). I had met a n uncouth3(笨拙的) person who had three degrees, but then he spoke4 and behaved very rudely."
I asked an acquaintance why it was. He said, "Well, the third was given because he had had two. He was given the second because he had had one, and he was given the first because he had gone."
伍德羅·威爾遜當(dāng)普凌斯頓大學(xué)的校長時(shí)，強(qiáng)烈反對(duì)隨便給人授予榮譽(yù)學(xué)位。
他說：“我們的大學(xué)最近才懂得授予授予榮譽(yù)學(xué)位要慎重，以前卻是很隨便的。我曾遇見一個(gè)很粗魯?shù)娜?，他有三個(gè)這樣的學(xué)位，可是他的言談舉止很不文明。”
我問一個(gè)熟人為什么這個(gè)人能得到三個(gè)榮譽(yù)學(xué)位，他說：“授予他第三個(gè)學(xué)位是因?yàn)樗延辛藘蓚€(gè)，給他第二個(gè)是因?yàn)樗延辛艘粋€(gè)，而給他第一個(gè)則是因?yàn)樗麤]有學(xué)位。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇四
Each Man Has His Merits 各有所長
A foreigner applied1 for citizenship2 paper in New York. The judge asked him, "Do you want to be made a citizen of the United States?" The foreigner replied, "Yes, Mr. Judge."
Then the judge said, "I must examine you, do you know how many states are in the Union?" The foreigner answered, "Mr. Judge, I think I should talk to you that each man has his merits. You know your business so you know how many states are in the Union. I know my business, so I know how many bananas are in a bunch."
有個(gè)外國人在紐約申請(qǐng)美國公民身份的證件。法官為他：“你想成為美國公民嗎?” 外國人回答說：“是的，法官先生。”
法官說：“那我要考考你。你知道美國有多少個(gè)州嗎?”外國人回答說：“法官先生，我想應(yīng)該和你講一下，人是各有所長的，你懂你的業(yè)務(wù)，所以你知道美國有多少個(gè)州，我懂我的業(yè)務(wù)，所以我知道一串香蕉有多少只。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇五
Simple Calculation 簡單估算費(fèi)
A housewife didn't know how to estimate the cost of living, so she asked her husband about it。 Her husband said, "It's very simple. Take our income and add 30 per cent."
有個(gè)家庭主婦不知道怎樣估算他們的生活費(fèi)用，就去問她的丈夫。 她的丈夫說：“很簡單。就是把我們的收入另外加30%”
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