英語幽默笑話作文大全

時間：2016-11-01 11:57:29 韋彥867由分享

　　民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事類型,材料豐富,有廣泛的現(xiàn)實基礎。但是它卻一直被學界視為不登大雅之堂的小眾。小編精心收集了英語幽默笑話作文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　英語幽默笑話作文：Working Dogs

　　Three guys sitting in a bar around a log fire with their dogs, and get talkin' about them. First one says "My dog is called woodworker.. go woodworker." The dog grabs a log from fire and with his teeth and paws fashions a beautiful figurine.

　　Next one says "My dog is called stoneworker.. go stoneworker" The dog drags a rock from the fire front and a beautiful carving emerges.

　　Third one says "My dog is called iron worker" he puts the fire tongs into the fire and gets them red hot.

　　"Now," he says "I'll just touch him on the balls and you watch him make a bolt for the door."

　　英語幽默笑話作文：Book on elephants

　　The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant -- a Personal Account."The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants -- they're better than People"The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"

　　英語幽默笑話作文：Animal sounds

　　A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

　　The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.

　　The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

　　The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken disappears.

　　The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

　　By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library.

　　She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows.

　　On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh. The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time. The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying,

　　"Read it, read it, read it..."

　　英語幽默笑話作文：Two Rabbits

　　There were these two rabbits, Barry and Fred. They were being tested in a laboratory and after a few losses of hair and half of their teeth missing they decide to try and escape.

　　They make this great plan and the next thing they knew, they were out in the counrtyside smelling the grass and generaly having a good time.

　　After a bit Barry gets in a bit of a mood.

　　"Why are you in such a mood" says Fred.

　　Barry in a sulky mood says "Well you know that laboratory we were at, well I'm starting to miss that place"

　　Fred in disbelief says "What, are you mad. That place is a dump. I've got more injection holes on my body than pores!"

　　"Yeah I know " says Barry "But I'm killing for a fag."

　　英語幽默笑話作文：Amazing Pig

　　A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."

　　The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.

　　Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks "Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?"

　　The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we gave him the medal."

　　The vagrant is amazed and says "Well, how about that silver medal?"

　　The farmer says "A few months ago our house caught fire in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal."

　　The homeless man says "While I'm at it, I might as well ask you about the gold medal."

　　The farmer says "My wife was attacked by a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks I gave him that gold medal"

　　The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, who is blithely eating his meal with a knife and fork. He asks "What about the wooden leg?"

　　The farmer says, matter-of-factly, "Well, you don't eat a pig like THAT all at once!"

　　
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