適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話精選
適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話精選
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、電視節(jié)目、書(shū)籍雜志上廣泛流傳。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：who's heart is better
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".
The man quickly responds, "The attorney's".
"Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"
The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"
一個(gè)人心臟病突發(fā)被送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。醫(yī)生告訴他除非馬上做心臟移植手術(shù)，否則他將活不成了。“你很幸運(yùn)，我們剛好有兩個(gè)心臟在這兒，所以你必須選擇其中一個(gè)。它們分別屬于一個(gè)律師和一個(gè)社會(huì)工作者。”
病人很快回答：“律師的那個(gè)。”
“等等!在作決定之前，難道你不需要了解多一點(diǎn)他們的情況嗎?”
病人說(shuō)：“我知道的夠多的了。社會(huì)工作者都是熱心人，而律師可能從來(lái)都沒(méi)有用過(guò)他的良心。所以我選擇律師的心臟。”
適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：Three Government Contractors
An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked. "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no." one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."
一位美國(guó)律師剛結(jié)束他在意大利一所法律學(xué)校的客座演講，就有一位意大利律師走近他問(wèn)：“聽(tīng)說(shuō)在你們國(guó)家里，一個(gè)人跌倒在人行道上，他就會(huì)起訴這塊地的所有者賠償很多錢，這是真的嗎?”
得知這是真的后，意大利律師轉(zhuǎn)向他的同行開(kāi)始用意大利語(yǔ)快速談?wù)撈饋?lái)。當(dāng)他們停下來(lái)后，美國(guó)律師問(wèn)他們是否想去美國(guó)做法律工作。
“不，不，”有一個(gè)人回答說(shuō)，“我們要去美國(guó)跌倒在人行道上。”
適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：Car Trouble
A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.
Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow.
"I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer.
The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves.
Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there.
He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig."
The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves.
Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there.
"Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow.
The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves.
Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there.
適合小學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話：Coffee break 咖啡時(shí)間
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.
The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside them is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second. "When you open them up, all their organs are arranged alphabetically."
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. Their organs are color-coded."
"You're all wrong," said, the fourth. "Lawyers are easiest. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asset are interchangeable."
四個(gè)醫(yī)生邊喝咖啡休息邊討論他們的工作。
第一個(gè)說(shuō)，“我認(rèn)為給會(huì)計(jì)手術(shù)最容易,因?yàn)樗麄兊钠鞴俣加芯幪?hào)。”
“我覺(jué)得圖書(shū)管理員最容易。”第二個(gè)說(shuō), “他們的器官都按字母順序排列。”
第三個(gè)醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“我喜歡給電工手術(shù)，他們的器官都有帶顏色的編碼。”
“你們都錯(cuò)了”，第四個(gè)說(shuō)，“律師是最容易的，他們沒(méi)心、沒(méi)腸、沒(méi)骨頭，而且他們的腦子用錢就能換掉。”
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