讓人爆笑的英語笑話大全你一定會(huì)笑
笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會(huì)話過程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。小編精心收集了讓人爆笑的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
讓人爆笑的英語笑話：Bring Me a Glass of Milk 捎杯牛奶
At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living room. "Tiptoe downstairs," she told her husband. "Don't turn on the lights. Sneak1 up him before he knows what's happening."
Dutifully, Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
半夜兩點(diǎn)時(shí)，科爾肯太太確信自己聽到客廳里有賊，就對(duì)丈夫說：“別開燈，輕手輕腳地下樓，悄悄地靠近他，別被他發(fā)覺。”
科爾肯先生義無反顧地披上外套，前去捉賊。剛走到臥室門口，他的妻子又加了一句：“回來的時(shí)候給我捎杯牛奶。”
讓人爆笑的英語笑話：Flunking Math 數(shù)學(xué)沒及格
My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman1 year at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana, called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore2 year as a psychology3student.
"Mom," he said excitedly, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied4 to daily life. I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"
"And just what does this mean?" I asked.
"I'm flunking5 math." he replied.
我的兒子是印第安那市曼西爾波州立大學(xué)的學(xué)生，大學(xué)一年級(jí)的時(shí)候，他的名字就被列在了系主任的表?yè)P(yáng)名單上。大學(xué)二年級(jí)的時(shí)候，他學(xué)的是心理學(xué)。剛開學(xué)沒幾個(gè)星期，他就往家里打了一個(gè)電話。
“媽媽，”他興奮地說，“我已經(jīng)找到了在大學(xué)生存下去的答案!分?jǐn)?shù)不是最重要的，重要的是具備如何把學(xué)到的知識(shí)應(yīng)用于日常生活的素質(zhì)。幸運(yùn)的是，我擁有了這種奇妙的經(jīng)歷!”
“你說的這些究竟是什么意思?”我問道。
“我數(shù)學(xué)沒及格。”他回答道。
讓人爆笑的英語笑話：做自己不喜歡的事情
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked1 his horn.
"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by.
"What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.
"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.
一位農(nóng)民和他的兒子坐著馬車來到一條狹窄的小巷， 他們看到一個(gè)司機(jī)正往他們這個(gè)方向開來。兩個(gè)方向2英里以內(nèi)已經(jīng)沒有空間讓他們擦身而過了。司機(jī)焦急地按著喇叭。
“假如你不往后退，”農(nóng)民擼著袖子說，“我并不喜歡我將要必須去做的事。”司機(jī)甚是驚訝，掛了倒擋，退后了2英里，讓馬車先過去了。
“剛才你說你并不喜歡做的事是什么啊?”農(nóng)民的兒子問。
“退后2英里。”農(nóng)民回答。
讓人爆笑的英語笑話：The Effectiveness of Advertisement 廣告的威力
Some businessmen were talking about advertising1 on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer2 and he had once made an advertisement。
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of 0."
"Did you get the dog back?"
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
一群商人正熱烈地討論在電視上做廣告。他們中沒有人做過，所以每個(gè)人都有自己的想法。
此時(shí)，格雷先生進(jìn)來了。格雷是一個(gè)汽車經(jīng)銷商，他曾經(jīng)做過一次廣告。
“你們?cè)谟懻撌裁?”格雷先生問。
“廣告有用不?”其中一位商人問。
“噢，有用，而且見效非常快。”格雷先生說，“我曾經(jīng)發(fā)布了一條廣告，要花100美金尋找一條丟失的看門狗。”
“你的狗找到了嗎?”
“沒，但是那個(gè)晚上我的三輛車被偷走了。”
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