小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文大全
小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文大全
作為人類所特有的天賦，幽默被認(rèn)為是日常會(huì)話中一種最寶貴的語(yǔ)言形式。長(zhǎng)期以來(lái)，幽默因其在人際交往中的神奇效果，已經(jīng)成為研究者們普遍關(guān)心的話題。小編精心收集了小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Good News and Bad News 好消息和壞消息
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"
"The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing."
"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.
"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....
士兵們連續(xù)的行軍，作戰(zhàn)，他們又累又熱又臟。一天，將軍宣布：“士兵們，我有一些好消息和壞消息要告訴你們。你們?cè)敢庀嚷犇膫€(gè)呢?”
“好消息!”他們?nèi)碌馈?/p>
“好吧，”將軍說(shuō)，“好消息就是你們每個(gè)人都可以徹底的換一身衣服。”
“烏拉!”士兵們高興地大叫起來(lái)。
“現(xiàn)在呢，該是壞消息了。杰克，你將和約翰換衣服，約翰，你和湯姆換，湯姆，你和羅伯特?fù)Q，羅伯特……”
小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：I've been trying to do that for years
A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."
一個(gè)人來(lái)到警察局想和昨天潛入他家偷盜的賊聊聊，警察告訴他說(shuō)，“你在法庭上會(huì)有這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)的。”
“不，不，不”，這個(gè)人說(shuō)，“我就是想知道他是如何做到潛入我家并且還能不驚醒我的老婆，我已經(jīng)努力好多年了都沒能做到這點(diǎn)。”
小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Repetition Has Many Applications 學(xué)以致用
In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees,
"The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key! If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible. Repeat it; cram it down people's throats. Even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't everforget to repeat, repeat, repeat. It's the only way to get results and sell our products!"
So, the employee said, "Yes, sir!"
Then the boss said, "Now, what was it you came to see me about?"
And the employee replied, "Well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!"
銷售公司的老板對(duì)一位員工訓(xùn)話：
“重要的是要記得重復(fù)、重復(fù)、重復(fù)!‘不斷重復(fù)’是重要關(guān)鍵!推銷產(chǎn)品時(shí)，要用盡各種方法對(duì)客戶不斷反復(fù)地游說(shuō)，對(duì)他們進(jìn)行疲勞轟炸。情況需
要的話，即使讓對(duì)方對(duì)你厭惡、反感也在所不惜。就是不要忘記‘重復(fù)再重復(fù)!’這是得到業(yè)績(jī)、銷售產(chǎn)品的不二法門!”
員工回答：“老板，了解了!”
老板又說(shuō)：“好，現(xiàn)在說(shuō)說(shuō)看你們來(lái)找我有什么事?”
員工回答：“老板，我要加薪!加薪!加薪!”
小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：Early Big Shopping 提早大搶購(gòu)
An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?"
The offender said, "I went shopping too early during the New Year."
The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake, perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?"
He answered, "The shop was not yet open for business, and I was already inside."
有個(gè)犯人被帶到法官面前審案，法官問他：“你犯了什么罪?”
犯人說(shuō)：“因?yàn)槲以谛履陼r(shí)，太早去采購(gòu)了。”
法官說(shuō)：“這不是罪呀!可能是弄錯(cuò)吧?那你多早去采購(gòu)呢?”
他說(shuō)：“商店還沒開門，我就已經(jīng)進(jìn)去了。”
小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話小短文：The Value of a Good Question 律師的咨詢費(fèi)
A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?” The lawyer said, “0 dollars!”
And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”
The lawyer said, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”
有個(gè)人打電話給律師，問道：“你回答三個(gè)問題的收費(fèi)是多少錢?」律師回答說(shuō)：「四百美元。”
這個(gè)人說(shuō)：“這要不少錢，不是嗎?”
律師回答說(shuō)：“我想是吧!你的第三個(gè)問題是什么?”
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