關(guān)于長(zhǎng)篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)欣賞
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)欣賞
笑話(huà)一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創(chuàng)作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編精心收集了關(guān)于長(zhǎng)篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà),供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇1
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell,"I'm the groom."
在一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)里,一個(gè)警官攔住了一個(gè)在主街道上超速行駛的騎摩托車(chē)者。
“但是,警官,”這個(gè)男人開(kāi)口說(shuō),“聽(tīng)我解釋?zhuān)?rdquo;
“安靜,”警官打斷了他,“我要讓你到監(jiān)獄里做冷板凳,一直到長(zhǎng)官回來(lái)。”
“但是警官,我只是想說(shuō)…”
“我說(shuō)過(guò)了,安靜,你將要下監(jiān)獄!!”
幾個(gè)小時(shí)之后,警官看著他的犯人說(shuō),“你足夠的幸運(yùn),長(zhǎng)官正在參見(jiàn)他女兒的婚禮,當(dāng)他回來(lái)的時(shí)候一定心情不錯(cuò)。”
“別指望了,”監(jiān)獄里的伙計(jì)說(shuō),“我就是新郎。”
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇2
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣,因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。
一個(gè)星期天,正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí),牧師決定要好好教育他一下,讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō):“想去天堂的人,都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”所有的人都站了起來(lái)——當(dāng)然,除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后,牧師高聲喊道:“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了,他站了起來(lái)??吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊?,正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說(shuō)道:“噢,先生,我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么,但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
關(guān)于長(zhǎng)篇英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇3
All the housewives who went to the new supermarket had one great ambition: to be the lucky customer who did not have to pay for her shopping. For this was what the notice just inside the entrance promised. It said: "remember, once a week,one of our customers gets free goods. This may be your lucky day!”
所有去新開(kāi)張超市的主婦都有一個(gè)美好的愿望:成為一個(gè)購(gòu)物不用交錢(qián)的幸運(yùn)顧客。因?yàn)檫@是入口處的一則商店啟事所承諾的。上面寫(xiě)著:“請(qǐng)記住,每周有一位顧客可以免費(fèi)購(gòu)物。今天也許就是您的幸運(yùn)日!”
For several weeks Mrs. Edwards hoped, like many of her friends, to be the lucky customer. Unlike her friends, she never gave up hope. The cupboards in her kitchen were full of things, which she did not need. Her husband tried to advise her against buying things but failed. She dreamed of the day when the manager of the supermarket would approach her and say,"Madam, this is your lucky day. Everything in your basket is free.”
正像她的許多朋友一樣,有好幾個(gè)禮拜,愛(ài)德華太太都在盼望著自己會(huì)是那位幸運(yùn)顧客。跟朋友不同的是,她從來(lái)不放棄這種期望。家里廚房的碗柜中都塞滿(mǎn)了她并不需要的東西。她的丈夫勸她不要亂買(mǎi)東西,但是她不聽(tīng)。她夢(mèng)想著有一天超市的經(jīng)理走到她的面前對(duì)她說(shuō):“夫人,今天是您的幸運(yùn)日,您籃子里的每樣?xùn)|西都是免費(fèi)的。”
On Friday morning, after she had finished her shopping and taken it to her car, she found that she had forgotten to buy any tea. She dashed back to the supermarket, got the tea and went towards the cash desk. As she did so, she saw the manager of the supermarket approach her. "Madam,”he said, holding out his hand, "I want to congratulate you! You are our lucky customer and everything you have in your basket is free”
一個(gè)周五的早晨,她在采購(gòu)?fù)臧褨|西放進(jìn)車(chē)?yán)锖螅l(fā)現(xiàn)自己忘記了買(mǎi)茶葉。她快步回到超市,取了茶葉后走向收銀處。正在此時(shí),他看到商店的經(jīng)理朝她走來(lái),“夫人,”說(shuō)著他伸出手來(lái),“我要恭喜您!您是我們的幸運(yùn)顧客,您籃子里的所有東西都是免費(fèi)的。”
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