簡短的爆笑英文小笑話大全
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創(chuàng)造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調(diào)侃、娛樂或諷刺。它是人們生活中不可或缺的組成部分,與社會(huì)密切相關(guān)。小編精心收集了簡短的爆笑英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
簡短的爆笑英文小笑話：哲學(xué)考試
A philosophy professor warned the classhe was going to give them a test.
一位哲學(xué)教授通知學(xué)生他要舉行一場考試。
When the day came he entered the classroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote,
考試那天，他走進(jìn)教室，一言不發(fā)地把自己的椅子放到講臺上，然后轉(zhuǎn)身在黑板上寫道，
"Prove to me this chair does not exist."
“請向我證明這張椅子不存在。”
Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.
大多數(shù)學(xué)生很緊張，都開始專心地寫他們的論文。
But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.
只有一個(gè)學(xué)生只寫了兩個(gè)單詞就交卷了。
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"
當(dāng)教授看到這個(gè)學(xué)生的答案時(shí)，不由微笑了，只見他寫的是：“什么椅子啊?”
簡短的爆笑英文小笑話：再活40年
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
一名中年婦女心臟病突發(fā)被送到了醫(yī)院，
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
在手術(shù)臺上，瀕臨死亡之際，
Seeing God, she asked if this was it.
她看到了上帝， 于是，她問上帝是不是她的日子到頭了。
God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."
上帝回答說，“還沒有，你還能活43年，2個(gè)月零8天。”
Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction,breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her haircolor, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.
身體快要康復(fù)的時(shí)候，這名女士想到自己還要活那么多年，得好好對待自己，于是決定先不出院，而是去給自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后還做了一個(gè)腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美體手術(shù)。她甚至還請人到醫(yī)院里面幫她頭發(fā)給染了。
She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed byan ambulance speeding to the hospital.
做完最后一個(gè)手術(shù)，這位女士出院了， 但就在過馬路的時(shí)候，她被一輛風(fēng)馳電摯趕回醫(yī)院的救護(hù)車給撞死了。
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years?
再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地問上帝，“我記得你說我還能再活40年?”
"God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
上帝回答，“那個(gè)時(shí)候我沒認(rèn)出你來”。
簡短的爆笑英文小笑話：五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，
a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.
一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。
She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.
女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。
A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.
法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對嗎?
"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈'500遍。”
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