初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
在交際場(chǎng)合,能恰到好處地講個(gè)笑話或自創(chuàng)一個(gè)幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語(yǔ)言水平,還可以提升個(gè)人魅力。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話：吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客
一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門(mén)，然后用你的胳膊肘按門(mén)鈴。門(mén)開(kāi)了之后，再用你的腳把門(mén)推開(kāi)。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話：Your horse called 你的馬打電話來(lái)了
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." Sheshrugs and walks away.
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
一個(gè)家伙正在看報(bào)紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問(wèn)道：“這是為什么?”她說(shuō)：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫(xiě)有‘Betty Sue’的紙條。”他說(shuō)：“哎呀，親愛(ài)的，‘Betty Sue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。”她聳了聳肩，走了。 三天后他正在看報(bào)紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問(wèn)：“這又是為什么?”她答道：“你的馬打電話來(lái)了。”
初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話：I hung him up to dry
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Marypromptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。一天，他們沿著醫(yī)院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區(qū)，他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來(lái)。
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.
當(dāng)院長(zhǎng)聽(tīng)聞了Mary的英勇行為后，他立刻翻看了她的病歷檔案,把她叫進(jìn)了自己的辦公室.
"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."
“Mary，我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息要告訴你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說(shuō)明你的意識(shí)已經(jīng)恢復(fù)了，你可以出院了。壞消息就是，Jim，你救的那個(gè)病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
Mary說(shuō)：“他沒(méi)有自殺，是我把他吊起來(lái)好讓他晾干。”
初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話：A Good Boy 好孩子
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天給你的錢(qián)干什么了?”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
“你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)。
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“再給你兩分錢(qián)。可你為什么對(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是個(gè)賣(mài)糖果的。”
初中水平英語(yǔ)笑話：Not so fast 別那么急嘛
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(歡慶的) charity event was taking place.
Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
一只豬和一只雞路過(guò)一所教堂，那里有一場(chǎng)盛大慈善活動(dòng)正在進(jìn)行著。
在精神上收到觸動(dòng)的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個(gè)人作出點(diǎn)自己的貢獻(xiàn)。
“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”
“著什么急”豬不耐煩地說(shuō)，“對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)，是一個(gè)貢獻(xiàn)，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，這是一個(gè)完全的獻(xiàn)身。”
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