有關于高一英語笑話閱讀

時間：2016-11-26 09:21:01 韋彥867由分享

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創(chuàng)一個幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編精心收集了有關于高一英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關于高一英語笑話：The Cocktail Party

　　Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

　　The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

　　The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.

　　Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."

　　After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents house for two weeks."

　　The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a Plymouth."

　　"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"

　　有關于高一英語笑話：Why God Made Women

　　Man to God: "God, why did you make women so beautiful?"God to Man: "So you would love her."Man to God: "But why did you make her so dumb?"God to Man: "So that she would love you."

　　有關于高一英語笑話：Creative Defense

　　A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offensecommitted by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence thedefendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

　　有關于高一英語笑話：Vermont Party

　　Sam had been in the hectic newspaper business for twenty-five years when hedecidedthat he was sick of the stress and quit his job. He bought 50 acres of land in the middle of Nowhere, Vermont. His place was so isolated that the postman came only once a week and he went to the grocery store only once a month.

　　After six months of near total isolation, he hears a knock on the door. He opens the door and a big bearded Vermonter is standing there. He says, "Names Enoch...your neighbor from four miles over the ridge. Having a party Saturday...thought you'd like to come."

　　"Great," replies Sam. "After six months of living like this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thanks for inviting me."

　　As Enoch is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you, though, there's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem. After 25 years in the newspaper business, I can drink with the best of them."

　　Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin', too." Tough crowd, Sam thinks to himself. "Well, I get along with people. Don't worry, I'll be there. Thanks again."

　　Once again, Enoch turns from the door, "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that is not a problem," Sam says. "I've been up here all alone for six long months. I'll definitely be there.

　　By the way, what should I wear?"

　　Enoch stops in the doorway one last time and says... "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the 2 of us there."

　　有關于高一英語笑話：Airplane Accident

　　A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruisingaltitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 207, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"

　　Silence.

　　Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen. I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

　　A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

　　
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