簡單搞笑的英語笑話閱讀
簡單搞笑的英語笑話閱讀
笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創(chuàng)作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。笑話可能只是文字游戲,但有時(shí)它在人們解決生活中的困惑時(shí)起著重要作用。本文是簡單搞笑的英語笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
簡單搞笑的英語笑話：Blonde And Chimps
A blonde motorist was two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the blonde's car and asked, "Are you going to Sydney?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to Taronga Park Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Sydney when suddenly he was horrified. There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but just as we arrived it looked like it was going to rain so we decided to see a movie instead."
簡單搞笑的英語笑話：Bowling Tournament
Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all bruneettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in frount of them with white knuckles.
"Whats going on up here?" asks the brunette. "We're having a great time downstairs!"
"Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "but you've got a driver!"
簡單搞笑的英語笑話：How To Lose Weight
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eatregularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor."
"No, from all that skipping."
簡單搞笑的英語笑話：Buying Flowers
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead saw her boyfriend buying flowers.
Redhead sighed and said, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."
The blonde looked quizzically at her and said, "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?"
The redhead said, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
簡單搞笑的英語笑話：Lawyer And Blonde
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a fewwinks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me , and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhatagitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me , and if I don't know the answer that you'll ask me, I will pay you 0!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her 0. The blonde politely takes the 0 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer , and goes back to sleep.
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