爆笑小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事大全
笑話(huà),顧名思義,是一種通過(guò)幽默的文字或圖示來(lái)達(dá)到令人會(huì)心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學(xué)形式。本文是爆笑小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事,希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
爆笑小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事:The Fuel
One day, Mr Caterpillar decided to hitch a ride to town. As he was standing by the roadside, a family of bees came by in a little car and offered him a ride. Gratefully, he accepted.
After putting along merrily for a few kilometres, the engine sputtered, and the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word, Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the starter, the enginestarted up, much to Mr Caterpillar's amazement! However, he did not say a word.
The car went on for quite some distance before the engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated into the fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that.
The process was then repeated again for Baby Bee. By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car was only a few kilometres from town.
Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel cap. In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?", asked Papa Bee.
"I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did",said Mr Caterpillar.
"Oh, no", said Papa Bee patiently, "that won't do. This car only runs on Bee Pee!"
爆笑小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事:Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)
三個(gè)互相爭(zhēng)生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌,上書(shū):“大減價(jià)!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌,聲稱(chēng):“大砍價(jià)!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個(gè)大招牌,上面只簡(jiǎn)單地寫(xiě)著:“入口處”。
爆笑小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事:What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don't forget to call me 'sir'".
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?"
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.
你叫什么名字?
有一位很?chē)?yán)厲的軍官在對(duì)一群交由他訓(xùn)練的新兵訓(xùn)話(huà)。他以前從沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)這群新兵,于是他開(kāi)始自我介紹:“我的名字叫Stone(石頭),事實(shí)上,我甚至比石頭更強(qiáng)硬。這就是我為什么要告訴你們我名字的原因。不要試圖對(duì)我玩什么花招,這樣我們就能很好相處了。”
接著他開(kāi)始走到每個(gè)士兵前面問(wèn)他們的名字。“說(shuō)大聲點(diǎn),讓每個(gè)人都能聽(tīng)清楚。另外,不要忘記稱(chēng)呼我為長(zhǎng)官。”他說(shuō)。
每個(gè)士兵都對(duì)他說(shuō)了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前時(shí),這個(gè)士兵保持著沉默。于是Stone隊(duì)長(zhǎng)對(duì)他喊叫,“當(dāng)我問(wèn)你問(wèn)題的時(shí)候,要回答!我再問(wèn)一遍,你的名字,士兵?”
那個(gè)新兵很不高興,但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石機(jī)),長(zhǎng)官。”他緊張的說(shuō)。
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