關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話精選
關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話精選
冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛(ài)。本文是關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Photo 我老婆的照片
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
一個(gè)生意人走進(jìn)一家酒館，在吧臺(tái)坐下，點(diǎn)了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)員把杯子滿上。喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)生幫他把杯子滿上。這時(shí)酒館的服務(wù)生說(shuō)話了，“呃，老兄，我整個(gè)晚上給你倒martini都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點(diǎn)下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開(kāi)始變得好看起來(lái)，那就說(shuō)明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”
關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Problem with gas放屁的問(wèn)題
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看醫(yī)生：“醫(yī)生，我有愛(ài)放屁的毛病。其實(shí)也不是大問(wèn)題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒(méi)聲音。事實(shí)上，我在這里已經(jīng)放了20多個(gè)屁，但是你并不知道對(duì)吧，因?yàn)槲业钠ú怀?，而且還沒(méi)聲音。”醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“好的，我明白了。吃這個(gè)藥片，一天三次連續(xù)吃七天，下星期你再來(lái)。”一星期后老太太來(lái)了，“醫(yī)生，你到底給的我什么藥，現(xiàn)在我放屁還是沒(méi)聲音，但是怎么這么臭!”醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“太好了!你的嗅覺(jué)正常了，現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始治聽(tīng)覺(jué)。”
關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：I Lost 我輸了
It was at a five o’clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness.
“So good of you to come， Mr.Jones，and where is your brother?”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it.”
“How nice!And so original， too! And you won?”
“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost.”
五點(diǎn)鐘，下午茶的時(shí)間，一個(gè)年輕人因?yàn)檫t到向女主人致歉。
“您能來(lái)可真好，瓊斯先生，您的兄弟在哪兒呢?”
“您知道我們?cè)谵k公室里有非常忙，我們倆只能來(lái)一個(gè)，所以就擲幣來(lái)決定由誰(shuí)來(lái)。”
“太有意思了!還那么有獨(dú)創(chuàng)性!那您贏了?”
“不，”年輕人心不在焉地說(shuō)，“我輸了。”
關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Psychiatrist 精神病醫(yī)生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for ." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。“一次一百塊錢(qián)嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢(qián)就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉?，F(xiàn)在那沒(méi)人了!”
關(guān)于八年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：A beggar
A young man who did not have much money was coming home by train one day. He gave his last few coins to a beggar(乞丐), but then he saw another one ,and forgot that he didn’t have any money about him . He asked the beggar if he’d like to have lunch with him , and the beggar agreed .
So they went into a small restaurant and had a good meal . At the end the man could not pay the bill . Of course the beggar had to do so .
The young man was very sorry about this , so he said to the beggar , “Come home with me in a taxi , my friend, and I’ll give you back the money for lunch.” “Oh, no !” the beggar answered quickly . “I had to pay for your taxi too!”
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