簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話
簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話
英語(yǔ)笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。本文是簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Can you write in the dark?
A daughter came home and asked, "Daddy, can you write in the dark?"
Her father said, "I think so; what do you want me to write?"
"Oh, just your name on this report card!"
一個(gè)小女孩回家以后問(wèn)爸爸說(shuō)：“您可以在黑暗中寫(xiě)字嗎?”
爸爸回答：“應(yīng)該可以。你要我寫(xiě)什么?”
“喔，只要在這張成績(jī)單上簽名就行了!”
簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Frog Experiment
Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences. One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond. Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.
Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. "12 feet...write that down, Sophie," he said.
Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog's right front leg. Again he prodded the frog and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.
Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again "Jump, frog!" Sidney reported, "Six feet...write it down."
The next time, Sidney removed the large right back leg. "Jump, frog!" Then, he shouted "Jump, frog!" and prodded the frog. "The frog jumped 8 inches...write it down, Sophie."
Finally, Sidney removed the frog's remaining back left leg, put it down and prodded the frog with the twig shouting, "Jump, frog! Jump, frog! JUMP FROG!! JUMP JUMP FROG!!!"
The frog didn't jump. Sophie looked at Sidney, and said, "So what should I write down?"
Sidney thought a moment, then told Sophie to write, "When you remove all the legs from a frog, it turns deaf."
簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Alphabet Fun
The teacher was telling her 4th grade class about today's lesson.
"I'll say a letter of the alphabet and you give me a word that starts with that letter. Let's begin. A"
All the children raise their hands, but little Johnny was almost coming out of his seat trying to get picked. The teacher knew Johnny had a filthy mouth and thought to herself that if she picked Johnny, he would give her a word like 'ass' or 'asshole'. She picked Wendy, and Wendy said "apple".
"Very good", said the teacher, "now B".
Johnny was jumping out of his seat again, but the teacher picked Bobby. Bobby said "ball".
This went on and on with Johnny trying to get picked for each letter and the teacher knowing there was a dirty word for it. Then she got to "R". Nobody but Johnny had their hands up.
The teacher thought and thought and couldn't think of a bad word that started with "R". So she picked Johnny.
Johnny stands up and says: "R...Rat...a big, fat, fuckin' Rat!"
簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Sunday Class
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty !" shouted Mary.
The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.
The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Osama's Valentine
Little Josh comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
His father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama bin Laden," his father asks in shock.
"Well," Josh says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "Josh, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Josh says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."
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