關(guān)于爆笑英文笑話大全
關(guān)于爆笑英文笑話大全
看笑話好處實(shí)在是太多了,生活不能太拘謹(jǐn),生活需要浪漫,那就每天多看些糗笑話吧。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享關(guān)于爆笑英文笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
關(guān)于爆笑英文笑話：The Hunting Dog
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."
So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."
Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!"
Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too."
So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.
Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"
The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.
The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"
關(guān)于爆笑英文笑話：老婆的一張照片
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
一個(gè)生意人走進(jìn)一家酒館，在吧臺(tái)坐下，點(diǎn)了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)員把杯子滿上。喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)生幫他把杯子滿上。這時(shí)酒館的服務(wù)生說(shuō)話了，“呃，老兄，我整個(gè)晚上給你倒martini都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點(diǎn)下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開(kāi)始變得好看起來(lái)，那就說(shuō)明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”
關(guān)于爆笑英文笑話：老師
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開(kāi)車(chē)闖紅燈被開(kāi)了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠，說(shuō)道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫(xiě)‘我開(kāi)車(chē)闖了紅燈’500遍。”
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