經(jīng)典小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀
經(jīng)典小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文閱讀
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、電視節(jié)目、書(shū)籍雜志上廣泛流傳。小編精心收集了經(jīng)典小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
經(jīng)典小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文：兩個(gè)錯(cuò)誤
For a long time Dr. Smith had wanted to get a better job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to a particular position, which he wanted，and his wife moved to the house, which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were sent to them, with a note，which said，"Deepest sympathy". Naturally,Dr. Smith was angry to receive such an unusual note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find what the note meant.
很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間以來(lái)，史密斯先生一直想在一家現(xiàn)代化的大醫(yī)院找到一份較好的工作，最后他如愿以償了。他得到了他所想要的一個(gè)重要職位，他和他妻子也搬進(jìn)了他們現(xiàn)在的房子。第二天，他讓花店送來(lái)了一些美麗的鮮花，上面有一張條子，寫(xiě)道:“最深切的吊慰。”很顯然，史密斯先生對(duì)接到這樣一張條子感到非常氣憤，他立刻打電話給送花店的老板問(wèn)那張條子是什么意思。
When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Smith for having made the mistake.
商店的老板聽(tīng)到所發(fā)生的事情之后，對(duì)于他們所造成的錯(cuò)誤對(duì)史密斯先生表示歉意。
"But what really worried me much more," he added , "is that flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a person who had just died, with a card which said, Congratulations on your new position."
“可真正讓我更為擔(dān)心的是”，老板補(bǔ)充道，“應(yīng)該給你送去的鮮花卻被送給了一個(gè)剛?cè)ナ赖娜?，鮮花上的條子寫(xiě)著:祝您高升。”
經(jīng)典小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文：愛(ài)爾蘭人的運(yùn)氣
Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.
一對(duì)愛(ài)爾蘭情侶坐在公園里的長(zhǎng)椅上。他們手牽著手，但是那個(gè)女的一直緊張地?cái)[弄她的雙手。
Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”
瑪麗:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告訴你。”
Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”
帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你盡管可以跟我說(shuō)。”
Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”
瑪麗:“這件事簡(jiǎn)直太難講出口了。”
Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”
帕克瑞克:“請(qǐng)你相信我，到底是什么事?”
Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”
瑪麗:“那是好幾年前的事了。我爸爸失業(yè)了，當(dāng)時(shí)沒(méi)有錢(qián)。”
Patrick: “So, what is it?”
帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”
Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”
瑪麗:“哦，當(dāng)時(shí)我們簡(jiǎn)直是絕望之極。所以有時(shí)候我不得不去做妓女!”
Patrick: “WHAT!”
帕特瑞克:“你說(shuō)什么?”
Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”
瑪麗:“我們太需要錢(qián)了。”
Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”
帕特瑞克:“不要找借口開(kāi)脫了。出賣你的靈魂，你怎么能這么做呢? 你! 瑪麗，這我實(shí)在是接受不了。”
Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”
瑪麗:“不，帕特請(qǐng)不要這樣，我覺(jué)得你能理解我。我相信你依然愛(ài)我，哪怕我曾經(jīng)出賣過(guò)自己的身體。”
Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”
帕特瑞克:“哦，你等會(huì)兒，那沒(méi)關(guān)系。剛才我還以為你是說(shuō)你是當(dāng)了新教徒呢。”
經(jīng)典小學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話短文：以色列的出租車
An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.
一個(gè)美國(guó)游客在以色列打了一輛出租車。使這個(gè)美國(guó)游客震驚的是，當(dāng)出租車開(kāi)到紅燈底下的時(shí)候，司機(jī)根本沒(méi)有減速就直著沖了過(guò)去。雖然他很吃驚，但他什么也沒(méi)說(shuō)。他覺(jué)得自己是個(gè)游客不應(yīng)該找麻煩。
The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”
一切都很順利，直到下一個(gè)十字路口。這回是綠燈，可讓美國(guó)人驚愕的是那個(gè)司機(jī)踩剎車停了下來(lái)。他再也憋不住了，就問(wèn)司機(jī):“我問(wèn)你，剛才你闖紅燈我什么都沒(méi)說(shuō)，可這回是綠燈為什么你卻停了下來(lái)?”
The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”
那個(gè)以色列司機(jī)看著那美國(guó)人，驚訝的喊道:“你瘋了嗎?另一個(gè)司機(jī)現(xiàn)在正要闖紅燈，難道你想找死嗎?”
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