七年級(jí)英語小笑話聽力
冷笑話是近幾年才出現(xiàn)的新興語言現(xiàn)象，它以網(wǎng)絡(luò)為主要的傳播方式。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編精心收集的七年級(jí)英語小笑話，希望大家喜歡!
七年級(jí)英語小笑話篇一
Very stupid robbersTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens.Jump!"
兩個(gè)盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個(gè)說：“我聽到警報(bào)響了，快跳吧!”
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is notime to be superstitious!"
第二個(gè)說：“但是我們現(xiàn)在在第13層啊!”第一個(gè)尖叫著回敬他：“都什么時(shí)候了，還這么迷信!”
七年級(jí)英語小笑話篇二
Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
“你相信人死后仍有生命嗎?”老板問他的一個(gè)員工。
"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.
“是的，先生。”這個(gè)新員工回答說。
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterdayto go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“哦，那么，這樣說來一切就很正常了，”老板繼續(xù)說，“在你今早離開，去參加你奶奶的葬禮，她來看你了。”
七年級(jí)英語小笑話篇三
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decidedto get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decidedthat the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer andsays he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".The dealer asks, "Why'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to knowwho's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to asnail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.The snail gets his new car andspent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And wheneveranyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
曾經(jīng)有只蝸牛，它對(duì)自己動(dòng)作慢的名聲感到了厭惡和疲倦。他決心去弄些跑得飛快的輪子來改變這種境況。逛了一圈之后，它決定買Datson 240-Z。他去了最近的Datsun經(jīng)銷店，去買Datson 240-Z，但是它想把這輛車重新刷漆，改稱240-S。
經(jīng)銷商問：“為什么是S呢?”
蝸?；卮鹫f：“‘s’代表蝸牛。我想讓每一個(gè)看見我呼嘯而過的人知道是誰在開車。”
經(jīng)銷商不想失去把汽車賣給蝸牛這樣一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，所以他同意收取些許費(fèi)用，把車重新涂漆。
蝸牛開著它的新車，把自己的余生都用在了快樂地高速行使在告訴公路上。而不論何時(shí)任何人看見它飛馳而過的時(shí)候，都會(huì)說：“哦!看那S-car 。”
七年級(jí)英語小笑話篇四
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes allthe small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in eachother's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and noarguments."
一個(gè)男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對(duì)方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭(zhēng)吵。”
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisionsdoes your wife make?"
“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in,what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
“嗯，”那個(gè)人回答說：“她決定我申請(qǐng)什么工作，我們住什么房子，買什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increaseour help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當(dāng)首相，我們是否要增加對(duì)貧困國(guó)家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問題。”
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