簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄
冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,也是一種出現(xiàn)在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to showup. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. Howwould our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the doorand asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"
"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.
"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.
在瓦湖島上度假時(shí)，我們坐在旅游車?yán)锏群虻絷?duì)的人。一位男子，明顯不是和我們一起的，朝旅游車走來并要上車。司機(jī)會(huì)怎么處理這種情況呢?我們都拭目以待。司機(jī)拉長(zhǎng)了臉，向車門靠過去，問道：“先生，是去裸體營(yíng)地嗎?”
“哦，不，”剛想乘車的男子回答說，迅速轉(zhuǎn)身而逃。
“每次都管用，”司機(jī)眨巴了一下眼睛說。
簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
A Bad Doctor
A man walked into a doctor's examining room.
"Put out your tongue," the doctor said.
The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.
"0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong withyou . You need more exercise."
"But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"
" Don't tell I me what you think, " the doctor said 揑 am the doctor, not you. I know whatyou need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in officesall day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least20 minutes a day. "
"Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"
"I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. Ifyou don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "
"But I walk every clay," the patient said.
"Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train stationfrom your house, a few more feet from the station to your office , and a few more feet fromyour office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walkin the park for twenty minutes every day. "
Please listen to me, doctor! " the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor whothought he knew everything.
"I'm a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day. "
For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, willyou?"
庸醫(yī)
一人走進(jìn)一家診所。
“伸出舌頭，”醫(yī)生說。
那人伸出舌頭，醫(yī)生很快地看了一下。
“好了，把舌頭縮回去吧。”醫(yī)生說，“你的病因很明顯。你需要更多的運(yùn)動(dòng)。”
“但是，醫(yī)生，”那人說，“我不認(rèn)為----”
“不要告訴我你認(rèn)為怎么樣，”醫(yī)生說，“我是醫(yī)生，不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看過數(shù)以百計(jì)的你這樣的病人。他們沒有一個(gè)人鍛煉過。他們整天坐在辦公室里，晚上就坐在電視機(jī)前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分鐘。”
“醫(yī)生，你不知道，”病人說，“我----”
“我不想聽任何理由。”醫(yī)生說，“你應(yīng)該抽出時(shí)間來運(yùn)動(dòng)。如果你不鍛煉，那么當(dāng)你老的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)變得很胖，并且有健康問題。”
“但我每天都走路的，”病人說。
“喔，是的。我知道那是一種怎樣的散步。你走幾英尺的路，從家到火車站，又走幾英尺從車站到辦公室，然后走幾英尺從辦公室到餐館去吃中飯?jiān)倩貋?。那不是真正的散步。我所說的是每天在公園里散步20分鐘。”
“請(qǐng)聽我說，醫(yī)生!”病人叫起來，對(duì)那位自以為什么都知道的醫(yī)生很生氣。
“我是一名郵遞員，”病人接著說，“我每天得走7小時(shí)的路。”
醫(yī)生悶在那里半天無語(yǔ)。然后他輕聲地說：“再把你的舌頭伸出來，行嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Because I've just bitten my tongue! "
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個(gè)年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，寶貝”，她回答說，“你問這個(gè)干什么?”
“因?yàn)槲覄倓傄谱约旱纳囝^。”
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