經(jīng)典英文笑話(huà)短文閱讀
民間笑話(huà)是一種頗受人們喜愛(ài)的民間敘事類(lèi)型,材料豐富,有廣泛的現(xiàn)實(shí)基礎(chǔ)。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了經(jīng)典英文笑話(huà)短文,歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典英文笑話(huà)短文篇一
獨(dú)特的考試形式
州立教授給學(xué)生判分是有名的好好先生,他每門(mén)課的成績(jī)只根據(jù)兩次考試的結(jié)果,而考試內(nèi)容全在課本里。由于這樣的名聲在外,每學(xué)期都有一大批學(xué)生不怎么來(lái)上課,或者根本不來(lái)上課只有考試的時(shí)候才露下面。有一學(xué)期,差不多有一半的學(xué)生直到考試連一堂課都沒(méi)來(lái)聽(tīng)過(guò)。考第一場(chǎng)那天,學(xué)生們坐在那兒,一位助教發(fā)了卷子并解釋說(shuō):“教授病了,我來(lái)監(jiān)考。”打開(kāi)卷子,只有一道題。題目列出了20幅教師的照片,要求是,在教這門(mén)課的教授的照片上劃圈。
A professor was known for being a generous marker. The grades he gave for one of his courses were based solely on two exams,and the stuff on the exams was covered entirely in the textbook. As word of the course spread,each term there was a large group of students who turned up infrequently,or not at all,just showing up for the exams. Finally, it got so bad that one term,about half of the students never turned up at all until the exams. On the day of first exam,the students sat down and a graduate assistant handed out the papers, explaining,"The professor is ill,so I’II be taking the exams.”When they opened the booklet,the students discovered just one question. It listed twenty grainy staff photos,and the instructions read,"Circle the picture of the professor who teaches this course.”
經(jīng)典英文笑話(huà)短文篇二
哪個(gè)女人結(jié)婚了
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一個(gè)小男孩在上算術(shù)課。老師問(wèn)他:“假設(shè)籬笆上站著5只畫(huà)眉。你用槍打死了一只,還剩幾只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一會(huì)回答說(shuō):“一只也沒(méi)有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老師說(shuō):“一只也沒(méi)了?你是怎么想出來(lái)的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都嚇飛了,籬笆上自然一只畫(huà)眉也沒(méi)有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老師贊許地說(shuō):“嗯,不全對(duì),但我欣賞你思考問(wèn)題的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是說(shuō):“老師,我能問(wèn)你一個(gè)問(wèn)題嗎?有三個(gè)婦女坐在公園的長(zhǎng)椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一個(gè)用舌頭舔,一個(gè)用牙咬,一個(gè)用嘴吸,你說(shuō)她們中哪一個(gè)結(jié)婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老師感到很不自在,他想了很大一會(huì)兒,最后回答說(shuō):“嗯,我猜應(yīng)該是那個(gè)用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
聽(tīng)了老師的話(huà),小男孩說(shuō):“答案是那個(gè)戴戒指的,雖然你答錯(cuò)了,但是我真的很欣賞您思考問(wèn)題的方式。”
經(jīng)典英文笑話(huà)短文篇三
解答難題
One day,the teacher walked into her classroom and announced to the class that on each Friday,she will ask a question of the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
老師走進(jìn)教室,向同學(xué)們宣布說(shuō),以后每星期五她都會(huì)問(wèn)大家一個(gè)問(wèn)題,誰(shuí)答對(duì)了下星期一就不用上課。
One the first Friday,the teacher asked,"how many grains of sand are there on the beach?”Needless to say,no one could answer.The following Friday, the teacher asks the class,“How many stars are there in the sky?”and no one could answer.
第一個(gè)星期五,老師問(wèn):“沙灘上有多少粒沙子?”不用說(shuō),沒(méi)人答得上來(lái)。第二個(gè)星期五,老師問(wèn):‘天上有多少顆星星?”還是沒(méi)人答得上來(lái)。
Frustrated,little Johnny decided that the next Friday,he would somehow answer the question and get a three-day weekend. So on Thursday night, Johnny took two ping一gong balls and painted them black. The next day, he brought them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day,just when the teacher said,"here’s this weekend’s question,"Johnny emptied the bag to floor,sending the ping一pong balls rolling to the front of the room.
小強(qiáng)尼沮喪極了,他決定下星期五設(shè)法回答出老師的問(wèn)題,過(guò)一次連續(xù)三天的周末。星期四晚上,強(qiáng)尼找了兩個(gè)乒乓球,并把它們?nèi)境珊谏?。第二天,他把乒乓球裝在了一個(gè)紙袋里帶到了學(xué)校。這一天的課快結(jié)束的時(shí)候,老師說(shuō):“這一星期的問(wèn)題是—”話(huà)還沒(méi)說(shuō)完,強(qiáng)尼就把乒乓球從紙袋里倒出來(lái),把它們滾向講臺(tái)。
Because they were young kids who find any disruption of class amusingthe entire class started laughing.The teacher said,"OK,who's the comedian with the black balls?"Immediately,little Johnny stood up and said,"Johnny Henry,see you on Tuesday”
小孩子嘛,只要能打斷老師的講課,他們都會(huì)覺(jué)得好玩,于是全班哄堂大笑。老師問(wèn):“這些黑球是哪個(gè)搗蛋鬼的?”小強(qiáng)尼立刻站起來(lái)說(shuō):“是強(qiáng)尼·亨尼的,我答出來(lái)了,下星期二見(jiàn)!”
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