英語爆笑笑話六篇帶翻譯笑死人的

　　笑話是指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產(chǎn)生幽默感，另外一個行動(動作)型的笑話是以動作影響人的視覺及觀感，而感到好笑。一起來看看一些爆笑的英語笑話吧，帶翻譯哦

　　1.The Looney Bin

　　Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽?one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"

　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

　　瘋?cè)嗽?/p>

　　一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪铮粋€病人說：“我是拿破侖!”另一個說：“你怎么知道?”第一個人說：“上帝對我說的!”一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來：“我沒說!”

　　Notes:

　　(1)Looney (俚語)瘋子

　　(2)inmate (n.同住者, 同室者(特指在醫(yī)院、監(jiān)獄))

　　(3)insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽?

　　2.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一個城市里的游客來到一個小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城里人看見一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城里人對農(nóng)夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說，"時間對豬有什么意義?"

　　3.Boxing and Running

　　Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."

　　Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

　　Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

　　拳擊和賽跑

　　丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。”

　　朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎么辦?”

　　丹：“我也會教他怎么樣賽跑呢。”

　　NOTE

　　come up against 遇到一個對手 against表示相對的相反的

　　4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

　　So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

　　George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

　　典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢周末的探訪日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

　　因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?”

　　喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們?nèi)荚谶@里面!”

　　5.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　警察：有人搶你的手表時，你為什么不呼救呢?

　　男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

　　6.Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　兩塊蛋糕

　　湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

　　媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!